Cheating, Love And Dating: Crushable’s Editors Weigh In

We’ve been doing our man panel feature — where we ask guys to weigh in on the mysterious things girls wonder about men — for a few weeks now. At the end of each Q&A we ask: “What one question would you ask a woman if you knew she was going to be completely honest?” This week, we’ve collected those questions and Crushable editors Erin Carlson, Amanda Ernst and Drew Grant have answers for you — from our definitions of love and whether we’ve ever cheated to how honest we want our guys to be. Do you agree or disagree with us? This one’s for you guys: take notes.

How many guys have you cheated on personally, and how common is it for your friends to cheat?

Drew: That’s difficult. I’ve definitely cheated, and I’ve been cheated on. I’m not sure of an exact number, but I’m pretty sure it usually happens at the end of a relationship and I’m looking for a way out. Some of my friends are super against cheating, but my thought is, “If no one finds out (and you’re careful), what’s the problem?” Then again, I’m the worst.

Amanda: I’ve never physically cheated on anyone, but emotional affairs of the heart are another matter. I can’t speak for my friends.

Erin: Does an emotional affair count?

Why do you wear such uncomfortable shoes? And, conversely: do you know how horrible you look in flip flops?

Drew: This does not apply to me. I literally own zero pairs of high heels and eight pairs of colorful sneakers. Also, flip flops are a stupid concept…you need backs for your shoes!

Amanda: One of the reasons we wear uncomfortable shoes is because they make our legs look awesome and guys like them, so we’re sorry if we complain every once in awhile. The other reasons we wear them is because they’re pretty, we like them, other women like them and our pants are too long. And, flip flops are some of the most comfortable shoes I own, and I wear them as often as I can from the first glimpse of warm weather in the spring to late fall. If I don’t care that my feet turn black, do you think I care what you think? Plus, my feet are cute. Deal with it.

Erin: Heels are sometimes uncomfortable, yes, but necessary for certain events (like dates). But this is why I wear flip flips in the office (and switch to heels later).

Why do you all have to go to the bathroom together?

Drew: To talk about you? That’s the theory, right? No, it’s because we are all running a secret drug cartel and use the bathroom time to do bumps and try to pass that bag of heroin we ingested to smuggle it through the Mexican border.

Amanda: Just like periods, sometimes when we all hang out together our cycles sync up.

Erin: So we can talk about you! And trade gossip. But this is a false stereotype of women: We don’t all go to the bathroom together, all the time. In fact, some of us go alone. I get embarrassed when friends listen to me pee.

When women say they’re on their period are they always really telling the truth?

Drew: Nope. Sometimes we don’t want to have sex with you and hope you’re grossed out enough to just get an HJ.

Amanda: Why would I lie about that? If I’m too tired to have sex with you, I’ll let you know.

Erin: Of course! Why, you don’t believe me?

Why not be the person who makes the introduction or the first move? Why be the one who is passive about it? Why not put yourself out there?

Drew: Um, because every time I make the first move, guys get freaked out, think I’m way more into them than I really am, and get to treat me like shit. No thanks.

Amanda: I have been the person who has made the first move, with mixed results. Basically, we have the same insecurities over rejection that guys do, plus the possible stigma of looking (or feeling) like a slut.

Erin: I do, dammit! Sometimes. I’ll meet someone at a party or something, and then I’ll send a nice-to-meet-you email the next day. It’s a good way to gauge a guy’s interest (or lack thereof).

If a guy has a good relationship with his mother, do you see that as a good or bad thing?

Drew: Like how good? Norman Bates good? Still breast-feeding good? Every guy has mommy issues, so you’d hope a guy has at least a speaking relationship to his mother, but if he compares you to her on the first date…and means it as a compliment…you should probably run away.

Amanda: I want a guy who treats his mother well and has a good relationship with her, but if he talks to her more than he talks to me, that’s just weird.

Erin: Never a bad thing! Unless she hates me.

When you say you want me to be honest before you ask a question, how often is that true?

Drew: Like, never.

Amanda: Always. Unless it’s something about how I look.

Erin: Hmmmmmm. I have to go with “often.” That said, I value your honesty so long as it doesn’t hurt my feelings. But if it helps the relationship to move forward — or me to move on — then the truth is always good. It sometimes hurts, though.

What’s your definition of love?

Drew: It’s a feeling you get when someone laughs so hard at something you say, and you realize that makes you happier than anything else in the world.

Amanda: Unconditional trust, loyalty and support, plus the ability to give me butterflies with a look or a kiss.

Erin: Mutual respect, admiration and physical attraction. BAM!

Do you do it on purpose?

Drew: Sure, but I’m not saying another word till I get my lawyer.

Amanda: Um….?

Next week, we’ll be back with a regularly scheduled Man Panel. Do you know a guy who might like to participate? Send his name and email to submissions AT crushable DOT com.