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Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.
Being the author of a column about text messaging and dating has its perks. Not the least of which is having a really good conversation starter any time I find myself in close proximity to a guy. In fact, I’ve gotten some of my best material while screaming over loud music with strangers at bars or parties (including the texts many of them send me afterward).
But we all know guys are pretty unoriginal. So whenever one of them asks me something about texting, or what women want from a text message, or about my own experiences, they pretty much all ask the same things. Through my research I’ve compiled their most frequently asked questions, which I want to get out of the way once and for all.
Is it okay to ask a girl out over text message?
This really depends on the girl, but for the most part, yes. In fact, I much prefer arranging a date with a text as opposed to other uses for texts (ie: booty calls or general conversations that lead nowhere, like the text-lationship). That being said, if you want to make a girl feel special, call her up and ask her out on the phone.
What is the appropriate length of time to wait before texting a girl you just met?
I know some guys treat texting the same as calling, and wait two or three days before reaching out to a girl they just met using any form of communication. I’d say if you met a girl randomly in a bar or at a party, waiting a day or two is probably a pretty good rule of thumb. By that point, we’ve figured out whether or not we actually want you to use the number we gave you, and have decided how we want to reply. If you really like someone, it’s all too easy to text them immediately after leaving their side, but in many instances you risk turning off the object of your affection by seeming overeager. However, if you parted ways with a girl after a heated sidewalk liplock or slipped out of her apartment in the wee hours of the morning, text at will.
How long should you wait to text a girl again if she never responded to your last text?
Texting has pros and cons. It’s pretty painless to put your heart on the line and ask a girl out in a text, but it’s also pretty easy for her to just ignore it and blow you off. She also could have not seen your message or never received it at all. Oh, technology, you fickle friend. If you ask a girl a direct question and don’t hear back from her, wait a few days to a week and then text her again. If you get ignored twice, take it as a sign and move on.
What’s the most inappropriate text you’ve ever received?
This one totally depends on your definition of “inappropriate.” There are so many that spring to mind. The guy I met once who texted me weeks later, “Concert Tuesday?” The one who asked me to sext him while I was hanging out with my parents. Basically, anything after 2 a.m. But my favorite example of straight up WTF has to be the time an ex I hadn’t heard from in years texted me “What’s up” on Valentine’s Day. No thank you.
Do you have some questions about texting that need answering? What was the most inappropriate text you ever received? Leave your thoughts in the comments below and you might see them featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing.
