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Wanna Know Who Wins The New ‘Bachelor’?
Reality Steve is not a man who takes ending up on the cutting room floor lightly. The reality tv blogger filmed some commentary for an E! Bachelor special earlier this year, but was cut from the final version. And this week, as retribution, he has proceeded to give away just about everything that happens on the upcoming season of The Bachelor. Even though it will be weeks before the show actually premieres.
The Bachelor: Then and Now debuted a week ago on Wednesday, and all of Reality Steve’s commentary was cut. Weirdly, it was replaced by very similar opinions voiced by TV Divagal Delaina Dixon. More »
Brad Womack is the next ‘Bachelor.’ Again.
The Bachelor is seriously running out of ideas. Last night, Brad Womack was announced as the next star of the show. For those of you Bachelor fans with short memories, Brad is the 27 year old bar owner who couldn’t be bothered to pick a winner from his season of the show. Is ABC even pretending it wants these things to end in relationships anymore? More »
‘My Generation’ Just As Boring As Real Life!
My high school friend Dustin recently posted a documentary he’d made in the 10th grade to Facebook. It’s an expose on the school’s health and life planning classes full of hard-hitting interviews (“What do you think of the school’s health and life planning classes?”) with my friends about their Cleveland High experiences. I’m in it, but instead of answering Dustin’s questions I just roll my eyes.
Dustin’s video was about 100 times more interesting than last night’s pilot episode of high-school-ten-years-later “mockumentary” My Generation. The show compares footage of its characters in 2000 — the year they gradated HS — with present day stuff. Shockingly, the “overachiever” turns out to be a slacker bartender in Hawaii, the “beauty queen” ends up an ultra-domestic married woman, and the “rockstar” (term used loosely) has the kind of drinking problem where he orders margaritas at noon. Also, everyone in high school is still in love with someone else from high school, though not the person (from high school!) they’re actually dating.
Basically? It plays out like fan fiction written by an unpopular freshman from the bleachers of the homecoming game. More »
5 Suggested ‘My Generation’ Taglines
The new show I’m most excited about this season is the ABC drama My Generation, a “mockumentary” that tracks a group of high school classmates ten years after they’ve graduated. ABC’s been promoting the hell out of it, plastering billboards with photos of contemplative twentysomethings under captions like “Remember prom night? Meet your son.” and (over a photo of a marine) “Baby, I’ll make it home before she’s born.” Then there’s the sultry woman saying: ”You know this ring comes off, right?”
It’s all very dramatic but I don’t feel the posters necessarily a reflection of my generation — which is kind of what the title implies, right? I know ABC didn’t ask for my input, but like I said, I’m really excited about this show! So, solicited or not, I decided to offer five taglines that better reflect the title My Generation: More »
Scott Caan: The Best Looking Reason to Watch ‘Hawaii Five-0?’
Tonight is the series premiere of Hawaii Five-0, and here’s why you should watch it:
Scott Caan.
Or as I like to call him, Hot Caan. No, wait, I got a better one: The Perfect Caan. Or, hold up, how about: Caan you feel the love tonight?
Caan I get your number?
More »
What to DVR: Your Crushable Fall TV Lineup
You ever heard of TiVo guilt? It’s a specific anxiety that comes from building up a whole base of TV shows on your DVR that you never get around to watching, and then spending days deliberating whether to just erase the whole thing and start fresh, or spend an entire weekend hunkered down with some BBC documentaries that looked “really interesting” two weeks ago. Luckily, Megan Collins is here to tell you what you should — and should not — be prepping to watch this Fall. More »
Dancing With the Stars: The Ultimate ‘Get Over Him’ Move? – From Kate Gosselin to Bristol Palin, here are 9 celebs who have used ABC’s dance show to tell the world “We don’t care about our humiliating breakups!” (via YourTango)
Report: Bristol Palin Recruited For ‘Dancing With The Stars’
Bristol Palin on Dancing With the Stars? Believe it. While the news hasn’t been officially confirmed, sources tell E! News that Sarah Palin‘s daughter has been recruited for the upcoming season of the hit ABC dancing competition. (Hear that, Levi?). More »
Video: CSI’s First Justin Bieber Promo Proves Show Has Become Unnervingly Self-Aware
We weren’t aware that CSI was in on the joke of being the most ridiculous show on television, but as this new season promo shows, the writers are fully aware that they’ve exhausted every ridiculous plot device and character in TV history. But now the show about criminal forensic experts who sometimes deal with plushies and vampires (did I hear that right?) are bringing you…Justin Bieber. Have you jumped the shark, CSI? Do you even care? More »
The Lameness Continues On ‘Bachelor Pad’
The Bachelor Pad is sososo lame. But yet we keep watching; we are obligated to continue suffering through the Pad for several reasons: our bizarre devotion to the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise; our desire to keep Chris “I’m A Believer” Harrison employed; because we want The Weatherman to pull a coup and go home with the $250,000 prize.
Is that weird? Because of all the lame-ass people on this overlong spin-off, The Weatherman is by far the worst. Scratch that.
Here’s Crushable’s Top 5 Bachelor Pad denizens who are far more offensive than The Weatherman:
More »
Fake Chris Harrison Twitter Entertains Us, Dupes Jake Pavelka
Chris Harrison, who still believes that The Bachelor can produce long-lasting love, is – in dead seriousness – the best thing about the ABC franchise. Chris is not only a puppet of producers – forced to play dumb on things like, “Frank Neuschaefer has a secret girlfriend – whaaaa?” – but he is also a calming force of sanity within a manse full of sociopaths. He seems to sincerely care about each and every contestant, even as he secretly collabs with the show to stir the pot. See: Bachelor Pad! With that said, here’s a gift from the Twitter gods: Chris Harrison has a tweeter-impersonator who managed to trick ex-Bachelor Jake Pavelka into thinking the Fake Chris Harrison feed was REAL. More »
Let’s Play The ‘Guess Their Real Age’ Guessing Game
The sole non-lame denizen of ABC’s Bachelor Pad is Gwen Gioia, who refuses to give her real age on the show and in real life. Naturally, malechauvinistpigdoucherageaholic David Good reacted, “Is she a little older than us?” According to Us Weekly, her IMDB lists her as 39, which is not that old. (OK, for Bachelor Pad, it’s kind of old.) More »
The 5 Lamest People On ‘Bachelor Pad’
We watched Bachelor Pad last night, and it was weird. We’re shameless fans/ruthless critics of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, what with all the crazy people, thwarted romance and “final rose of the night” nonsense. But if you’re into the ABC franchise, you might not be into the spin-off: It’s got the crazy people and the thwarted romance but there’s money involved – the grand prize is $250K (we think) – and no one to root for. Basically, everybody sucks. Allow us to rank the suckiest. More »
Crush This: Julia Roberts In ‘Eat Pray Love,’ Cera In ‘Scott Pilgrim,’ Rejects In ‘Bachelor Pad’
Welcome to Crush This, your weekly guide to what’s new in movies, music and TV! We’ve navigated the inner reaches of our entertainment-obsessed brains in search of all the pop culture landscape has to offer. This week, we bring you Eat Pray Luuuurve, Scott Pilgrim and, dear god, Bachelor Pad. More »
The ‘Lost’ Epilogue: Yes, We DO Need It
When the 12-minute Lost Epilogue leaked on Jezebel, Drew and I were like: zomgzomgzomgzomgzomgzomgzomg. And then, like true Lost freaks, we debated its merits. Drew believes the clip – which ABC dragged off the web, replacing it with a shorter one – was nothing more than an awful tease. I think not, and here’s why. More »
Poll: Will Ali And Roberto Last?
Newly minted Bachelorette couple Ali and Roberto are so in love – and producers hope it stays that way. Are we all in agreement with that – or should Ali ditch Roberto for wingwoman Jennifer Love Hewitt? More »
‘Bachelorette’ Ali Chooses A Guy, And It’s Who We Thought
Dear Bachelorette watchers: We’ve come far together on this “amazing journey,” and I thank you for joining me each week as Ali Fedotowsky fended off disturbing dudes with frog voices, Tom Cruise complexes and secret girlfriends, and finally, tonight, found love.
(Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen yet seen the three-hour finale extravaganza, be warned!) More »
Sorry Keir, We Just Can’t Buy You As a Nerd!
ABC’s upcoming fall series, My Generation, is already preset on our DVRs. Told in documentary style, the series revisits the lives of several adults 10 years after they were interviewed in high school. But we’re still having a hard time believing that series star Keir O’Donnell is the class nerd. More »
‘Bachelorette’ Host Chris Harrison Thought Ali Would Walk Off The Show
Tonight is the whopping three-hour finale of The Bachelorette, and it comes down to two men: Roberto Martinez and Chris Lambton. Who will Ali pick?
Host Chris Harrison is keeping mum. But at ABC’s Television Critics Association party in Los Angeles last night, Chris admitted to Crushable that he really thought Ali was going to walk off the show in the middle of taping – especially with what went down with Frank Neuschaefer. More »
Kirk DeWindt Blames Frank For His ‘Bachelorette’ Loss
Kirk DeWindt is Mr. Congeniality. With the illness backstory, the soccer player’s body, the aw-shucks grin, Kirk was life-partner material packaged in Midwestern sincerity and unassuming sex appeal. But he proved no match for the other loudier, quirkier, sparklier dudes on The Bachelorette.
Kirk was so cute and nice during his stint on the show that many of you wondered what Ali Fedotowsky had been thinking when she sent him home back to Green Bay, Wisconsin; indeed, if you combine Kirk… More »
