Do you know about Literally Unbelievable? It’s a blog that collects people’s blatant misinterpretations about The Onion over Facebook. That’s right: Enough people mistake Onion articles and news reports for the truth that there is a corner of the internet devoted to their stupidity. Usually it’s average folks who put their feet in their respective mouths over social media, but every once in a while someone high-profile doesn’t read closely enough.

Today, Congressman John Fleming linked to an Onion article titled “Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex” on his Facebook page. He may have 25,000 likes, but it took 8 derisive comments before his people yanked the status update. (That’s right, it’s now immortalized on blogs like Literally Unbelievable and anywhere else that managed to get a screenshot.) And Representative Fleming hasn’t addressed his gaffe, which only makes it worse.

Perhaps the party most amused by this is The Onion itself: Editor Joe Randazzo released a statement saying, “We’re delighted to hear that Rep. Fleming is a regular reader of America’s Finest News Source and doesn’t bother himself with The New York Times, Washington Post, the mediums of television and radio, or any other lesser journalism outlets.”

Congressman, I know you’re trying to appeal to a generation who got through high school by sourcing term papers via Wikipedia… but come on.

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Post from: Crushable

Do you care about titles in relationships? Or do you like being introduced as “just a friend?” (The Gloss)

Do you think that your ex “owes” you anything? (The Frisky)

How many sexual partners is too many? (College Candy)

Planned Parenthood will file a lawsuit if South Dakota passes a bill which requires women to wait 72 hours, and undergo counseling. before having an abortion. (Ms. Magazine)

Post from: Crushable

What do you do if he has a sexual malfunction? (College Candy)

Check out 10 romantic comedies that have ruined finding love in New York. (The Gloss)

A pregnant woman in Iowa was thrown in jail for thinking about having an abortion. (The Frisky)

Dating in this age would send Jane Austen into a frenzy. (The Guardian)

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(Photo via Pop Sugar)

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Post from: Crushable

Price William and Kate Middleton are both inviting their exes to their wedding. Would you? (The Gloss)

The key to marriage might just be that a wifes BMI must be lower than her husband’s. (YourTango)

An enlightened Kanye West tweets his abortion thoughts, claiming that we “gold-diggin’ bitches be getting pregnant on purpose.” Yes, he’s officially found another way to act like a jackass. (Jezebel)

Halle Berry and boyfriend, Olivier Martinez stick close to one another at parties. (Just Jared)

Post from: Crushable

The teen idol came under fire last week for the controversial comments when he said that abortion “was like killing a baby” and stated that he did not support abortion, even in case of rape.

Bieber’s people kept insisting that the quote was taken out of context, because the magazine didn’t include his entire quote. Today, Rolling Stone conceded that part of Bieber’s quote about abortion was omitted. The magazine posted Bieber’s entire quote on the Rolling Stone website this morning. Here’s the addendum:

“Due to an editing error, this online news item originally included an incomplete quote from our Justin Bieber cover story. The full quote, which appears in full in our March 3 issue, reads: ‘Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”

Um… so that’s what the Bieber camp was fighting for? An extra line with a tenuous teenage phrasing: “I don’t know how that would be a reason.”

First of all, that one extra sentence that was omitted definitely does not exonerate him. It doesn’t refute any of his earlier stances on abortion. The way I interpret that is “I don’t know how that would be a reason… but God has his reasons.” I can definitely understand why Bieber was upset that his entire quote wasn’t used, but I don’t see how that sentence makes the situation any better for him.

A source close to Bieber also claimed that Bieber’s response to the question about his thoughts on abortion was phrased like a question; so instead of the quote being, “It’s (abortion) like killing a baby,” the source claims he actually asked, “Like killing a baby?” Rolling Stones denies this and says that the original article has the correct transcript for that question.

Additionally, the fact that he reportedly asked if abortion meant killing a baby instead of definitively stating that abortion was killing a baby shows that he knows what abortion is and has a predetermined opinion on the subject. Just because he asked the question, instead of stating it, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t believe abortion is murder.

That said, you really have to take what a 16-year-old says with a grain of salt. That doesn’t mean that’s his final opinion on the subject. Maybe through education, experiences with different types of people or exposure to politics, his opinion on abortion will change. Maybe it won’t.

Although it is true that he has a huge influence on young people, it isn’t fair that everything he says or feels carries extra weight. He’s a teenage singer; he doesn’t claim to be a politician. For those who are pro-choice, the sad fact of the matter is, at least some people will probably change their stance on abortion based on what Bieber says. This was an uncharacteristic misstep from The Biebs, but he’s going to have to learn that celebrities have to watch what they say. And unfortunately, he can’t stay an unoffending adolescent forever.

(Photo via WENN)

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Post from: Crushable

Here’s a bit of media clusterfuckery for you: Brooke Alvarez is the name of a fictional reporter on the Onion News Network, The Onion‘s new satirical IFC series, and here “she’s” weighing in on the latest controversy du jour. Justin Bieber covers the new issue of Rolling Stone, and in his interview was asked about his views on sex before marriage (only if you’re in love) and abortion (vehemently anti-choice even possibly in cases of rape).The general tone around the Internet today has been one of incredulous disgust that Rolling Stone would ask a 16-year-old to weigh in on a national human rights issue. “Brooke’s” tweet sums up the sentiment shared by many in pitch-perfect Onion style.

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This is the first time that the MTV show has followed a girl who got an abortion, and it’s sure to be controversial. What are the details that went into what happened here?

1. Markai didn’t understand how her birth control worked

Markai missed an appointment for her birth control shot and she and her boyfriend James didn’t use condoms. She didn’t realize how quickly the contraceptive would go out of her system, and she got pregnant again.

2. Markai would rather get an abortion than give her child up for adoption.

After becoming teen parents, Markai and James decided they couldn’t handle another child. During 16 And Pregnant, it didn’t look like Markai considered abortion at all:

“I knew abortion was out there. I just never thought it would be an option for me.”

But with one child already, she decided she couldn’t handle raising another. As she said:

“I don’t want her to struggle because of my mistake.”

Markai and James decided they couldn’t afford another child:

“Not only set ourselves up to fail. But set our kids up to fail…Let’s just be real. We can’t take care of another baby.”

And for Markai, abortion was more feasible than adoption:

“Adoption’s not an option for me…I’m in love with this baby already. And this baby’s doing nothing but making me sick.”

3. James thought of the baby as a “thing.” Which Markai couldn’t do.

When Markai went to get the abortion, a woman at the clinic advised her:

“Don’t think of it as ten fingers and ten toes with a forehead and all that stuff. Because if you think of it like that, you’re going to be depressed. Think of it as what it is – a little ball of cells.”

Apparently, thinking of the pregnancy as a child makes it harder to get over the decision to abort. But Markai’s reaction shows that that is not so easy. As when James tried to agree, saying:

“I told you that from the get go…I never called that thing a baby. Because I told you not to even think of it as a baby.”

Markai immediately got upset:

“Call that thing a baby. Alright, exactly what it is. A thing.”

Markai just could not see it as a medical procedure, pointing to her daughter, she told James:

“A thing can turn out like that….nothing but a bunch of cells can turn out to be her.”

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