(Photos by Nikki Nelson/WENN.com)

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True, Lilly gave one of her weakest performances of the season on Tuesday, but we didn’t even consider the fact that America would vote her out. Katelyn, on the other hand, we suspected might go. But that doesn’t mean we have to agree with it. As for the men, Todrick probably sealed his fate by delivering the recently Glee-ified “Somebody to Love” with an almost cartoon-like exuberance, but how Aaron Kelly managed to make it but Alex didn’t will continue to remain one of the greatest mysteries of life.

So, America, that means your top 12 American Idol season 9 finalists are, in no particular order, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Lacey Brown, Siobhan Magnus, Paige Miles, Katie Stevens, Lee Dewyze, Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, and Tim Urban. Who are you rooting for? (For the record, Crushable is on Team Siobhan, until her eventual elimination because that’s how it always goes for the people we root for, on which occasion we will be switching to team Bowersox.)

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Adam Lambert

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Only 1.2 million people watched Melrose on Tuesday night. That’s as if the entire population of Dallas, the country’s ninth-largest city, watched the show. Conversely, American Idol, which won the night, had 22.8 million viewers. That’s as if the entire population of Dallas, plus the populations of the first- through eighth-largest cities (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, and San Antonio) watched the show. In other words: Dismal. Horrendous. Horrific. You get the idea.

If the show is wisely cancelled, which we hope it will be, Katie’s schedule will be freed up for more worthy projects. But for now, Melrose is like Jack Dawson from Titanic: We loved it once, and we’ll never let go (metaphorically), but we have got to pry its icy grip from Katie Cassidy before she goes down with it.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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Sadly, no. But wow: Ellen Degeneres actually jumped up from her perch on the judges’ panel to hug contestant Tim Urban for doing an impressive job on that old Idol standard “Hallelujah.” And Kara Dioguardi let her steely guard down, sobbing uncontrollably over new dad Michael Lynche’s R&B stylings.

What is going on?! Tim’s cute and all — and Michael seems like a really nice guy – but they did not exactly blow the roof off the joint. Crystal Bowersox can do that with no effort at all. As Simon Cowell says, it’s hers to win; but where’s the love, hugs and tears for the girls?

Let’s be honest here: This season’s male singers lack the frontman charisma of an Adam Lambert, a  Chris Daughtry, or even, dare say it, a David Archuleta.

Michael’s smooth, emotional performance brought Kara to tears because she was reminded of his powerful Idol-ready backstory — that of a devoted family man whose maturity touches her deeply. OK, so maybe he exudes a teensy bit of charisma. As for Tim, who should be filed under Most Improved, Ellen all but knighted him a future top-tier contestant with a simple hug: This kid is a shoo-in, partly because Ellen approves and partly because he looks like Zac Efron’s cousin. Still, one might imagine him as the leader of an acapella group or a principal on Glee – not creating buzz and singles as a frontman cog in the wheel of the Idol-industrial complex.

Still, where is this season’s Adam Lambert? Why are the guys so BLAH? Is there anyone from the past — cough Adam cough — that you wish would return and make you wanna dial his number 5,000 times?

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They were all sweet — especially John Park — but we’re not especially sad to see them go. The same could be said for each and every one of this year’s contestant pool. In a word, the lot can be described as meh; as a devoted and diehard fan of this show, I feel obligated to watch and feel personally invested in the talent. But this year, I can’t seem to get on board with anyone — watching feels more like a chore than a pleasure, and I know something is off when I’d rather catch a rerun of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

This season is meh for several reasons:

A) Paula Abdul is not on the show, creating a void of spontaneity and humor that is lacking from the judges’ panel. Who knew that Ellen Degeneres could be so boring? She’s Ellen! She hosted the Oscars, has her own talk show, is a comedian; unlike Paula, however, she lacks that wackadoo unintentional humor that can’t be rehearsed. Paula has that, which is why she’s perfect for reality TV. Ellen is way too earnest, and she seems to have one phrase in her Idol handbook: “I really like you.”

B) There’s no Adam Lambert, David Cook, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood or Jennifer Hudson; compared with these previous standouts, the contestants this season lack that X factor that takes my breath away and makes me root for them. Hell, even those one-name wonders Sanjaya and Chikeze had more charisma. The guys are a lost cause; as Simon Cowell observed, there’s a great chance a woman might win. In that case, the saving grace might be Ally Sheedy doppelganger Siobhan Magnus or soul-rocker Crystal Bowersox, who I swear  saw singing Janis on the L platform in Chicago circa 2004.

C) Simon doesn’t want to be there. Oh, he would rather be anywhere but there. Clearly. How can I be excited about a show when its star — and evil genius — phones in his two cents, winks at his fiancee off stage and talks to Paula imposter Kara Dioguardi during performances. If he could yawn, he would.

Speaking of Kara, I will use a Kara-ism to describe my apathy toward this super-boring lineup of meh: STEP IT UP, IDOL. I love you. I don’t want to give up just yet. So give me something to care about — or I’m switching permanently to the E!: The Kardashian Channel.

Enough about me. Let’s throw it back to you: What do you think about this season? Does it give you the blahs? Who do you love — and who makes you go meh?

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The medical mystery is cleared up — we now know Crystal Bowersox was hospitalized for a complication related to her diabetes (which we will henceforth call ‘beetus, following Crystal’s lead). Though there was speculation yesterday that she still wouldn’t be able to perform, Crystal made it to last night’s episode, performed first, and earned raves from all four judges. It’s been clear since Hollywood Week that Crystal would be one to watch, but if she hadn’t been such a promising contestant, would the show have been pushed?

We don’t think so. Despite how great we think she is (and she is most definitely great), we think the producers definitely gave her preferential treatment in deciding to move the show. Simon Cowell has said that he thinks a girl will win the season, and during last night’s critique, he compared Crystal to Kelly Clarkson. Crystal is clearly one of the most promising contestants, and if she didn’t show so much potential (and chance of actually winning the whole competition), we don’t think the show would’ve been moved.

Do you think it was unfair that Idol producers pushed the ladies’ show? Would they have done it for anyone else? Is David Cook’s past Idol hospitalization a sign that Crystal will win the show?

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In case you were wondering, there are plenty of celebrities that also suffer from Type 1 diabetes (the kind we assume Crystal has because it affects young people) that can join in the cause. Even a former American Idol contestant — Elliott Yamin — suffers from the disease.

Here’s a look at some celebs with diabetes:

(Photos by WENN.com and Getty)

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Which raises an intriguing casting question, involving The Breakfast Club: If a remake of the ’80s teen-movie masterpiece were to happen, and if said remake were to star the current contestants on Idol, whom would play whom?

We have some suggestions:

• Simon Cowell as hardass Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason). Yep, sounds about right.
• Ryan Seacrest as vulnerable jock Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez). Seacrest is a radio jock who can be vulnerable despite his robo-smooth confidence hosting 102.7 KIIS FM,  Idol and his 33 other jobs. We speculate, but anyone with so many gigs must be overcompensating for something –  like Emilio in TBC –  so what’s Seacrest hiding?
• Siobhan Magnus as goth misfit Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy). The female darkhorse/Ally Sheedy lookalike sang “Wicked Game” last week, which …. yep, sounds about right.
• Casey James as “The  Criminal” John Bender (Judd Nelson). They have wildly different personalities — Casey is mild-mannered and Bender has borderline sociopathic tendencies  — yet there’s one thing they share in common: they’re both really really hot. And that’s that.
• Katelyn Epperly as Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald). Katelyn’s curly hair is one of her best features, as is Claire’s awesome red bob. They both exude that Homecoming Queen vibe — but we wonder whether Katelyn can do that patented lipstick trick.
• Tim Urban as Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall). Urban is young, earnest, nerdy-cute and one of this season’s underdogs. He is 1985 Anthony Michael Hall crossed with Zac Efron. And like Brian/Anthony Michael Hall, he has that sweet quality that makes us root for him.

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