It could happen, since Taylor said he would so hit that: “I would totally date her. I have always said I wanted nine kids, so it would be perfect!”

(Photos: WENN.com)

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It was no surprise that swoon-worthy Tim made it out safely, and to be honest, Lacey and Paige seemed pretty interchangeable in their mediocrity. Lacey ended up getting the boot, and butchered warbled through Brandi Carlile’s “The Story” — which was strange, since that’s not what she sang last night. Has Idol ever let an ousted contestant do that before? I’m scratching my head trying to come up with another example.

Guest performers included David Cook (good), Orianthi (good), and Ke$ha (weird). It’s funny that Ke$ha performed on American Idol, because it’s hard to call what she does “singing.” It’s more like chanting while wearing a dumb faux Native American headdress and making her backup dancers wear large televisions. It was a strange sight.

What did you think of tonight’s American Idol results show? Did the right person go home? Did America pick the correct bottom three?

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Will you be tuning in?

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DVD
You’re probably already camping outside Best Buy, waiting for your local New Moon release party at midnight tonight, right? (Kidding. Well, half-kidding.) If vampire/werewolf stories aren’t your jam, try Disney’s reentry into hand-drawn animation, The Princess and the Frog, or Broken Embraces, a.k.a. the movie Penelope Cruz should’ve been Oscar nominated for. Also Ninja Asassin, if that’s the sort of thing you’re into.

MOVIES
Jailbait girl rocker biopic The Runaways hits theaters on Friday (Kristen Stewart! Dakota Fanning! They kiss!), along with the Jennifer Aniston/Gerard Butler fighting-exes-who-will-surely-fall-in-love-again rom com The Bounty Hunter, and Repo Men, a.k.a. the reason Jude Law hosted Saturday Night Live this week, a thriller about a man who repossesses organs.

MUSIC
The White Stripes release Under Great White Northern Lights on Tuesday, the soundtrack to the band’s documentary chronicling their 2007 trek through Canada to celebrate their 10-year anniversary.

TV
If you’ve managed to recover from last week’s American Idol elimination tragedy, the two-hour top 12 performance show on Tuesday is Rolling Stones-themed. Wonder what Lilly Scott would’ve done with that? Wednesday night’s got the season finales of Scrubs (possibly the series finale, since Scrubs: The New Class didn’t do too hot ratings-wise) and The Real World (if this season didn’t bore you too much). FlashForward returns from its ultra-long hiatus on Thursday night.

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(Photos by Nikki Nelson/WENN.com)

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True, Lilly gave one of her weakest performances of the season on Tuesday, but we didn’t even consider the fact that America would vote her out. Katelyn, on the other hand, we suspected might go. But that doesn’t mean we have to agree with it. As for the men, Todrick probably sealed his fate by delivering the recently Glee-ified “Somebody to Love” with an almost cartoon-like exuberance, but how Aaron Kelly managed to make it but Alex didn’t will continue to remain one of the greatest mysteries of life.

So, America, that means your top 12 American Idol season 9 finalists are, in no particular order, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Lacey Brown, Siobhan Magnus, Paige Miles, Katie Stevens, Lee Dewyze, Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, and Tim Urban. Who are you rooting for? (For the record, Crushable is on Team Siobhan, until her eventual elimination because that’s how it always goes for the people we root for, on which occasion we will be switching to team Bowersox.)

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Adam Lambert

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Only 1.2 million people watched Melrose on Tuesday night. That’s as if the entire population of Dallas, the country’s ninth-largest city, watched the show. Conversely, American Idol, which won the night, had 22.8 million viewers. That’s as if the entire population of Dallas, plus the populations of the first- through eighth-largest cities (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, and San Antonio) watched the show. In other words: Dismal. Horrendous. Horrific. You get the idea.

If the show is wisely cancelled, which we hope it will be, Katie’s schedule will be freed up for more worthy projects. But for now, Melrose is like Jack Dawson from Titanic: We loved it once, and we’ll never let go (metaphorically), but we have got to pry its icy grip from Katie Cassidy before she goes down with it.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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Sadly, no. But wow: Ellen Degeneres actually jumped up from her perch on the judges’ panel to hug contestant Tim Urban for doing an impressive job on that old Idol standard “Hallelujah.” And Kara Dioguardi let her steely guard down, sobbing uncontrollably over new dad Michael Lynche’s R&B stylings.

What is going on?! Tim’s cute and all — and Michael seems like a really nice guy – but they did not exactly blow the roof off the joint. Crystal Bowersox can do that with no effort at all. As Simon Cowell says, it’s hers to win; but where’s the love, hugs and tears for the girls?

Let’s be honest here: This season’s male singers lack the frontman charisma of an Adam Lambert, a  Chris Daughtry, or even, dare say it, a David Archuleta.

Michael’s smooth, emotional performance brought Kara to tears because she was reminded of his powerful Idol-ready backstory — that of a devoted family man whose maturity touches her deeply. OK, so maybe he exudes a teensy bit of charisma. As for Tim, who should be filed under Most Improved, Ellen all but knighted him a future top-tier contestant with a simple hug: This kid is a shoo-in, partly because Ellen approves and partly because he looks like Zac Efron’s cousin. Still, one might imagine him as the leader of an acapella group or a principal on Glee – not creating buzz and singles as a frontman cog in the wheel of the Idol-industrial complex.

Still, where is this season’s Adam Lambert? Why are the guys so BLAH? Is there anyone from the past — cough Adam cough — that you wish would return and make you wanna dial his number 5,000 times?

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They were all sweet — especially John Park — but we’re not especially sad to see them go. The same could be said for each and every one of this year’s contestant pool. In a word, the lot can be described as meh; as a devoted and diehard fan of this show, I feel obligated to watch and feel personally invested in the talent. But this year, I can’t seem to get on board with anyone — watching feels more like a chore than a pleasure, and I know something is off when I’d rather catch a rerun of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

This season is meh for several reasons:

A) Paula Abdul is not on the show, creating a void of spontaneity and humor that is lacking from the judges’ panel. Who knew that Ellen Degeneres could be so boring? She’s Ellen! She hosted the Oscars, has her own talk show, is a comedian; unlike Paula, however, she lacks that wackadoo unintentional humor that can’t be rehearsed. Paula has that, which is why she’s perfect for reality TV. Ellen is way too earnest, and she seems to have one phrase in her Idol handbook: “I really like you.”

B) There’s no Adam Lambert, David Cook, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood or Jennifer Hudson; compared with these previous standouts, the contestants this season lack that X factor that takes my breath away and makes me root for them. Hell, even those one-name wonders Sanjaya and Chikeze had more charisma. The guys are a lost cause; as Simon Cowell observed, there’s a great chance a woman might win. In that case, the saving grace might be Ally Sheedy doppelganger Siobhan Magnus or soul-rocker Crystal Bowersox, who I swear  saw singing Janis on the L platform in Chicago circa 2004.

C) Simon doesn’t want to be there. Oh, he would rather be anywhere but there. Clearly. How can I be excited about a show when its star — and evil genius — phones in his two cents, winks at his fiancee off stage and talks to Paula imposter Kara Dioguardi during performances. If he could yawn, he would.

Speaking of Kara, I will use a Kara-ism to describe my apathy toward this super-boring lineup of meh: STEP IT UP, IDOL. I love you. I don’t want to give up just yet. So give me something to care about — or I’m switching permanently to the E!: The Kardashian Channel.

Enough about me. Let’s throw it back to you: What do you think about this season? Does it give you the blahs? Who do you love — and who makes you go meh?

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