black-lips

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to board the Bruise Cruise Festival, which was a non-stop fun tornado that brought together nine rock bands and 400 eager young vacationers on a giant Bahamas-bound cruise ship in what one straitlaced observer dubbed a “bikini hipster convention.”

The weekend culminated in a wonderfully incongruous performance by garage rock heroes The Black Lips at smelly spring break chain bar Señor Frog’s (as seen on Girls Gone Wild). But it wasn’t all strawberry daiquiris in take-home souvenir cups and creative towel animals. Some revelers fell victim to hidden pitfalls like crippling sunburns, depressing waterslide failures, and drunken tourists who bring their kids to the bar and try to fight you if you smoke too close to them. Despite these minor bugaboos, though, the festival should come back even stronger next year, so it’s with this in mind that I present you with some important dos and don’ts of partying on international waters. More »