An office pal brought donuts to work. I ate half of a Boston cream, then remembered my commitment to eating healthy. I threw the rest in my trashcan. A few hours later, I got slammed with work. I got cranky. And I needed carbs. I saw the half of the donut sitting there, on top of an abandoned Us Weekly magazine, and I dove in and grabbed it – right before I realized that my super blonde, super skinny, super pulled together boss saw me.

She walked quickly down the hall without making eye contact, and I guiltily scarfed the rest of the donut. But it didn’t sit will in my stomach, and, for the rest of the day, I kept replaying the incident in my mind. Something had shifted, and I knew that more than the comments on my work, more than our meetings, more than my resume, this would define the rest of our time working together.

The worst thing is, it’s not even the first time that’s happened. And I’m realizing – I’m the type of girl who sees my office trash receptacle as a sort of portable pantry for storing snacks. As long as something’s on top of paper, I’ll eat it – and I don’t see anything wrong with it. And I need a boss who’s done that before, too. You know the type: She’s the one who’s super smart but sometimes has pen marks on her hands or deodorant stains on her blouse. She puts on mascara at her desk, has crumbs in her keyboard, and plenty of amazing ideas in her head – that often come to her as she’s shuffling to the vending machine sans shoes. She’s a real-life Liz Lemon, and she’d consider the comparison a compliment. That’s who I want to be – and that’s the way I act in the office.

But right now, I’m working for a Miranda Priestly – which I wouldn’t tell her because I doubt she appreciates pop culture. After the donut incident (which of course she never brought up, although you know Liz Lemon would have called out her co-worker on it!) I’m dressing up, cleaning my desk, and making sure to save my snacks in a drawer. I’m considerate, polite, and often pretend I’m visiting my grandma when I’m heading into her office for a meeting. And it’s sort of working. It’s also, perversely, confidence-building. While I do believe in being yourself and celebrating your quirks, there’s something to be said about being extra – careful about etiquette in the office. At the very least, when you feel more formal, you sometimes find yourself getting more done – or at the very least in my case, eating less calories.

What about you? How do you deal with a totally-different-than-you-boss? And am I the only girl who thinks of storing snacks in the trash a way to maximize space in a way-too-tiny cube?

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Finding a job and finding a significant other can be daunting, but maybe you think you’re better at one than the other. Maybe it’s time to consider the skill sets you’re using to excel at work might apply to dating, and vice versa.

The Business Insider (where, as you can guess, the specialty is work) has some tips on how dating and your career can cross over. Some of our favorite tips:

• Know the difference between persistence and annoyance.

• Everybody wants what they can’t have, so make yourself desirable.

• Make them feel special.

Do you agree? How does this all work when it applies workplace romance?

Post from: Crushable

It may be too late to participate in the leadership conference, but Mimi Valdes, who co-founded Kidult.com and the conference with hip-hop artist Pharrell, has some advice for finding success in your own way. And you don’t have to sit through a day of panels and discussions, because Mimi, the former editor of Latina magazine and Vibe, let Crushable in on some of her tips, learned through years of her own experience in the workforce.

Do your research
It’s not enough to say, “I want to go into journalism because I like to write,” Mimi explains. Instead, research publications and companies where you would like to work, and reach out to people who work there with questions. If you want to write, for example, decide what you want to write about and learn everything you can about that industry.

Make the most of your internships
“In my 18 years in the industry, I probably remember only 10 interns,” Mimi told Crushable. “And I remember them because they made the most of their internships, took pride in everything they did and, as a result, they were given more responsibilities.”

Don’t be afraid to talk to people and ask for informational interviews — even informal ones
Think of every internship, class you take or event you attend as a way to gather more information about the career you want to have one day. If you’re an intern, don’t be afraid to ask managers if they have a few minutes to chat. “If you’re really interested in the industry, it’s important [to talk] not just to the assistant but the senior person, and really take advantage of what you’re doing. Don’t worry that someone looks busy,” Mimi advised. “A lot of interns just don’t take advantage of the opportunity.”

Get out there and network
“Any successful person in business is going to have a wide network of people to rely on, and the earlier you can build those networking skills, and find people with the same interests as you, the better,” Mimi said.

Go above and beyond
Doing something as simple as refilling the paper tray in the copy machine instead of asking someone else to do it for you speaks volumes about your character and what kind of worker you will be. Be a team player for the company, not just your department.

Treat everyone well — not just the big wigs
You never know when having the receptionist on your team will help your career.

Keep an idea notebook, and write in it every day
“Write about your goals and your dreams, how you plan to achieve them and reread things that you’ve written, using the book for inspiration to stay focused,” Mimi recommended. “It’s a constant reminder.”

Reach out for mentors
When seeking out mentors, Mimi suggested doing your research and writing a well thought out letter to your mentor of choice, asking if she’d be interested in meeting you.

Have fun
“That is the most important lesson of all,” Mimi told us. “Jobs and the workplace can be stressful, and it’s a lot to handle if you are not having fun.”

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Determine what you love
Just like you don’t want to go after a guy who doesn’t have specific qualities you want — looks, loyalty, commitment, whatever — you don’t want to delve into a career if you’re no passionate about it. “It’s so hard to follow your heart,” Nicole said. “Generally speaking, if you enjoy something, you are good at it. And If you are good at it, and you enjoy it, go in that direction.”

Determine what you need
You may be drawn to a man — or a job — because of its looks, promises of money or travel or success, but you have to be honest about the type of commitment that is required of you and what you need to be happy. Like dating lots of different guys, play the field a little before settling in. “You do informational interviews, talk to people,” Nicole advised. “Ask them: ‘What does your job look like? What do you do from 9 to 5? What percentage of your time is actually spent doing whatever it is do?’ Get a realistic handle on whatever this job or career will entail. What specific experiences or skill sets do I have to get into it? And then you can make the match.”

Treat your resume like a dating profile
Nicole told us that there are a lot of similarities between online dating profiles and resumes. And, if you need more proof, trying filling out the online profile at Monster.com. It’s not too different than a Match.com profile, Nicole pointed out. The key, in both instances, is to use action verbs and position yourself for the job (or guy) you want to snag. “You want to use a language and descriptors that are particular to the industry, so that you can find a match,” she said. “On the other hand, with an online profile, if you’re not specific enough, you’re never going to find a man. It is about being more intuitive and more specific in what you want and talking about yourself.”

Conserve your energy
Just like you would never waste your time and energy dating guys you’re not into (unless they’re buying dinner — right?) don’t waste your energy applying to 100 jobs. Focus in on the five best and put all your time and energy into those. “When you are looking for careers, find something legitimate to be interested in,” Nicole added. “Be discerning.”

Make a good first impression
With job hunting, your resume is the first impression that employers get of you, and how they determine whether they want to take you on a date — er, call you in for an interview. So, put a lot of time and effort into making sure it’s perfect, including spellchecking and formatting. That stuff’s important! “It sounds insignificant but there are so many people that are not investing that level of detail,” Nicole explained.

Of course, Nicole has lots more advice in her book — from not bashing your ex (your former employer) to not giving the milk (your talent) away for free. But the biggest takeaway for her? Just have fun. It’s as true in your romantic career as it is in life. “Honestly, this is meant to be enjoyable,” she said. “We spend a lot of time with this. Take it seriously, but not too seriously. That’s why I compare it to dating because honestly, I’m assuming that this woman wants to keep her job interesting.”

And the best part, when you’re successful at work, you’re more apt to be successful in the romance department as well. So finding a great job can be the key to finding the man of your dreams, too. Added Nicole: “It’s the best dating strategy of all time, because you’re passionate about what you do, you’re making your own money, you can afford to buy great clothes and look hot.”

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