Today’s PM Crush Links, a daily roundup of the afternoon’s most talked-about celebrity news:

• Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, alleged mistress of Jesse James, said she’s not a Nazi, she just likes posing for fetish photos. She also said that the “W” and “P” tattoos on her legs stand for “wet p&##y,” not “white power.” [TMZ]

• Jesse James‘ dog, Cinnabun, is not missing again as presumed — he was found in an unused storage room at West Coast Choppers. [People Pets]

• Jennifer Aniston told Ryan Seacrest that the part he turned down in her new movie, Just Go With It, was to play Heidi Montag’s husband. [RyanSeacrest.com]

• Since it’s Friday, here’s the trailer for Carey Mulligan’s new movie, The Greatest, about a girl who moves in with her dead boyfriend’s parents after getting kicked out of her own home for being pregnant. It’ll be much more uplifting than that description makes it seem, we promise.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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Audrey Hepburn, whose beauty was singular, style iconic and presence irreplaceable. Audrey Hepburn, who hangs above my couch immortalized in a framed poster of Holly Golightly staring into a Tiffany’s window. Audrey Hepburn, who in no way, shape or form resembles Carey Mulligan, Natalie Portman or our favorite Vajazzler, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Ever since winning accolades and an Oscar nod for An Education, Carey was forced to bear the flattering-yet-awful burden of being compared to this Very Special Person beloved by young women around the world. It is a terrible cross to bear; it seemed as if every movie writer, critic and pundit was crowning  her The Next Audrey, thereby putting pressure on Carey to live up to that standard and overlooking her own brand of uniqueness. Carey became understandably embarrassed, saying: “You feel like Shrek compared to Audrey Hepburn. It’s a really nice comparison, but it just seems so mad.”

Early in her career and still today, Natalie faces the same comparisons. She and the film icon have much in common: a gamine style mixed with an Old World elegance;  scores of male and female admirers; a good head on their shoulders; a humanitarian streak. But NatPort is her own person, and lacks the cinematic legacy (and an iconic role) that Audrey owns.

Another faux Audrey, as christened by the media: Keira Knightley. And another one, as christened by herself: OMG JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT.

Jennifer Love’s career spiraled further downward into the wacky-and-tacky world of D-listers when she staged her 30th birthday photo op in front of the Tiffany’s in Beverly Hills. We get it, JLove, you played Audrey in that Lifetime miniseries; you changed your accent four times but did not once capture the essence of this glorious creature.

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Shia LaBeouf

(Photos: WENN.com)

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We also like Alec’s thought on Sandra Bullock’s big win. He spotted her “sitting in a room just outside the [Vanity Fair after party] with her husband, spending a moment taking it all in.” Explained Alec:

“Sandy has made a lot of movies. And those movies have made a lot of money. I believe, however, that Sandy, whose career began with movies like Demolition Man, had that dream that we all have and had it all along. Money, fame and privilege all fade into the background. Winning the big one would be…oh so nice. That was the wonderful look on Sandy’s face last night. That the reality is every bit as fantastic as the dream.”

Thoughts on Hosting the 2010 Academy Awards [Huffington Post]

(Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

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Cinnaboobs!

This is a new word: love it, use it, credit me, Molly Dimick.

(Photos by Getty Images)

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But, like any Oscars ceremony, there was an extra something-something missing that producers inexplicably could not fit into a 4-hour award-a-thon. Memorable moments, unplanned events. Yes, there was a conspicuous lack of spontaneity–come on, Bigelow, Jeff Bridges, Mo’Nique and Sandy Bullock were all a lock to win their respective slots. Kind of boring, no?

Here are some bits we wish we had witnessed during this hallowed Hollywood event:

1. Bigelow gets all up in James Cameron’s face after her victory, yelling: “I’m the king of the world!”
2. Kanye West storms the stage during Bullock’s touching acceptance speech, eliciting a furious wave of boos. “I’m gonna let you finish, Sandy, but I just need to say something: Meryl Streep deserves this award!!! She gave one of  the best Julia Child performances of ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!”
3. For the love of good music — and Colin Farrell — could the Academy have allowed Colin to sing the winning theme from Crazy Heart? We saw him perform it as a young country superstar in the film, and we know he can carry a tune, so why not take advantage of this? If Farrell didn’t want to do it, there was an able substitute in the audience: TIM MCGRAW. We repeat, TIM MCGRAW.
4. The Dude – aka Bridges — wanders onstage halfway through the big giant professional dance number, thereby sending up his confusing presence in this celebrity video tribute set to “We Are The World.”
5. The pre-show is Dullsville without any Brangelina sightings or Bjork swan dresses.  So Gary Busey crashes the red carpet again, throwing off the unflappable Ryan Seacrest for a second time since ‘08. Never not funny. Ever.
6. A James Cameron diva meltdown. Presenter Ben Stiller tried to bait the director by dressing up like an Avatar, alternating between gibberish and English, saying: “I want to put my tail — my braid — into your dragon.” Another presenter, Tyler Perry, tried to get a rise, cracking a joke at Cameron’s expense. But the man didn’t budge. When ex-wife Bigelow beat him for Best Director, he took it like a gracious loser. Then again, Cameron could are less! He’s swimming in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck.
7. Less GOLD on the red carpet. Enough with the metallic column gowns, ladies. We’re bored. Where’s Bjork?
8. More boobie roses on Charlize. We want her to turn around and show two more ill-placed rosettes on her butt.
9. More boyfriends on the red carpet. Where was Shia LaBeouf for Carey Mulligan and Pacey for Diane Kruger? Pacey (real name: Joshua Jackson) is Kruger’s No. 1 accessory but he was nowhere to be seen during the show. Was he at the bar with Dawson?
10. Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston presenting together. They co-star in the upcoming comedy The Bounty Hunter and go on heavily-photographed Mexican vacays, so would it kill the maybe-couple to maybe give us a LITTLE something by announcing the award for, say, Best Foreign-Language Film? Last year, Aniston stirred up some tabloid fun while presenting an award as Brangelina sat in the front row; she smiled at Brad Pitt, then took her seat 30 rows back alongside then-boyfriend John Mayer. We fear nothing can top this — ever.
11. Dramz! Brangelina! We missed them. Too bad the Jolie-Pitt brood is abroad, possibly eating ice cream in Italy. Mango-papaya for Zahara! Coffee flavor for Maddox! Then they go to McDonald’s and Angelina buys them Happy Meals; then Jon Voight shows up and they reconcile as one big happy family and go on a gondola ride. The Oscars are so not important.

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We’re sorry, but Johnny Depp on the Alice in Wonderland poster will never not look like Elijah Wood. Never.

Bleached blonde hair, a can of Aquanet, and some self-tanner: must be Aubrey O’Day. Or is that Stephanie Pratt? We can’t tell.

Buzzed-about leading ladies with pixie cuts: Carey Mulligan or Mia Wasikowska?

(Photos: WENN.com)

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Molly Dimick skewers the latest red-carpet hits and misses.

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Check out our gallery of the night’s best fashion.

(Photos via WENN.com)

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Kristen Stewart

While we think Kristen is more than deserving of the award, didn’t it come a year too late? She’s been working steadily since appearing as Jodie Foster’s daughter in 2002’s The Panic Room, but she broke out in the past few years with a string of notable performances (Into the Wild, In the Land of Women, The Cake Eaters, and oh yeah, Twilight). She’s on the cover of tabloids as often as Angie and Brad, her “are they or aren’t they?” alleged romance with costar Robert Pattinson makes for constant blog speculation, and she’s about to get paid a reported $12 million for the next Twilight installment, Eclipse.

Girlfriend is already a star.

The award should’ve gone to someone on the verge of becoming a household name, not someone who already is. Jesse, on the other hand, has managed to sail under the radar in critically acclaimed indie films for the past decade, but with Adventureland, Zombieland, and the release of The Social Network (a.k.a. “the Facebook movie”) later this year, we’re sure he’s finally about to catapult to moviestardom. Ah, if only we handed out awards. Oh, wait.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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