Crushable » Children

Video: This Fruit Snacks Commercial Was Directed By David Lynch

Jamie Peck — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:27:41 +0000

Okay, not really. But it’s creepy enough so that it seems like it could have been!

How did that delicious fruit roll-up coccoon get in the closet? How did the child get in the coccoon? Why are they speaking in whispers? Is one of them going to eat the other? This clip poses more spooky, unanswerable questions than Twin Peaks. This all leads me to believe that the commercial is directed not at children, but the second biggest consumer of fruit snacks: stoners in their twenties and beyond. Way to reach your target demo, General Mills.

(Via Copyranter)

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Video: Is Madison Bray The Next Rebecca Black?

Jamie Peck — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:04:18 +0000

The man who brought us Rebecca Black and tried to bring us someone named Lexi St. George is back with a new aspiring pop star, and this time, she’s only ten years old. Her name is Madison Bray, and she might be the most annoying product of Ark Music Factory yet.

What could be more annoying than Rebecca Black, you ask? Tons of stuff. You see, despite her musical faults, Rebecca Black has a certain sweetness to her. She seems like a nice kid. She’s friendly and punctual, and she probably listens to her parents. This Madison Bray person just reminds me why I was never terribly into babysitting.

Songwriters Pato and Clarence Jay have forgone the random rap bridge for this song, instead opting to infuse the uber-suburban playground setting with a somewhat hip-hop/R&B-ish flavor. The oft-repeated word “swag,” for instance, comes from hip-hop and is used to mean a lot of things. Cool, sexy, tricked out, what have you. It’s been around as a term for a while, but it really blew up when Odd Future began their depressingly predictable ascent to fame. I’m uncomfortable just mentioning the name “Odd Future” in a blog post about a ten-year-old girl, because their music is probably the least appropriate for children anything can get and still be legal.

Over the course of the video, Bray addresses haters who think she’s only nine (she’s ten, dammit!), exchanges tough looks with other kids on the playground (aw), practices her bitch face, and…did she just reference her Beamer? What is it with the Ark Music Factory and underage driving? The line “no more hating” could carry an anti-bullying message, but I get the feeling this kid spends her days passing mean notes and thinking up new ways to humiliate the nerdy fat girl.

Which is all to say…I think this video has serious viral potential. Who could resist clicking on a thing this loathsome?!

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Liana Maeby — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 22:17:18 +0000

Children Singing Indie Rock Songs is our favorite new tumblr – We say that a lot but this time we really mean it! (Children Singing Indie Rock Songs)

Post from: Crushable

Gallery: Is ‘Postcards From Splitsville’ The Saddest Site Ever?

Drew Grant — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 22:27:38 +0000

Post Secret has long been the place to go if you’re feeling emo or depressed and want to read someone else’s anonymous cry for attention. “Postcards from Splitsville” is being touted as a site that’s like Post Secret, but for kids of divorce. Created by Kara Bishop, it’s a place where “children can share their divorce-related feelings anonymously and parents can get a new perspective on how this life-changing experience impacts their children’s lives. ”

Except that unlike Post Secret, which is arty and schadenfreude-y and sometimes even funny, Postcards From Splitsville is deeply unsettling, and raises some questions of authenticity. Like: How are these kids “anonymously” mailing in their watercolors to this site?

Commenters on Huffington Post seem to have already caught on that the cards on the site are mainly by adults, but that still doesn’t change (and maybe even makes worse) the distressing quality of the pictures.

We don’t have anything really snarky to say about these postcards. They’re just really sad.

Post from: Crushable

Drew Grant — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 18:35:31 +0000

Beauty Pageants For Boys – We don’t know whether to be happy that the gender equation is equalling out, or sad that parents are forcing more children into pageantry. Probably the latter. (via The Frisky)

Post from: Crushable

‘Saw 3D’ Shown Instead of Children’s Film, Hilarity Does Not Ensue

Drew Grant — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 17:24:43 +0000

And in my favorite story of the week, a bunch of 7-year-old children were taken to see Megamind for a birthday party. Except the cinema accidentally put Saw 3D on the screen.

The children were told to cover their eyes as cinema bosses tried to correct their mistake, but it took several minutes to rectify the problem. The children would have seen images of a man with his foot cut off, as well as a woman being killed by a buzz saw.

I would be outraged by this, but I don’t have children and it’s pretty funny. Then again, I think all children should be shown Saw films, and then sat down to be taught about the birds, bees, and Jigsaws.

Post from: Crushable

Drew Grant — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 14:23:04 +0000

Someone Finally Realized Jennifer Petkov Was An Unsuitable Mother - Really people? It took you guys almost a month to realize the woman who terrorized a terminally ill child probably shouldn’t get custody of her offspring? Well, better late than never. (Fox News)

Post from: Crushable

The Daily WTF: Childhood Friends

Drew Grant — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 21:25:55 +0000

Some days, I don’t even bother looking for our Daily WTF on the Internet. I just open an old folder on my Desktop called “Strange,” pick a photo at random, and hope that it’s a Photoshop because my god is that creepy. For some reason, it’s entitled “Childhood Friends” and I have no idea where I got it. Anybody got any leads?

Post from: Crushable

No Harry Potter in the Children’s Laureates list of favorite books?

Wendy Boswell — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 09:49:30 +0000

I find this hard to believe! The five past Children’s Laureates were asked to hand-pick their “favorite ever” books, and neither Harry Potter or anything Narnia were on the list. Hello? I can’t imagine a list of children’s books without either of these series, can you? However, I do appreciate that they are trying to bring to the forefront classic books that deserve our attention. Here are their picks:

Michael Morpurgo chose Five Go to Smuggler’s Top by Enid Blyton (1945).

Morpurgo reveals his love of the classics in his choice featuring Julian, Dick, Anne, George and their dog Timmy. Other stories on his list date as far back as 1838 to Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, Just So stories by Rudyard Kipling from 1902 and Edward Lear’s A Book of Nonsense (1846).

Anne Fine chose Just William by Richmal Crompton (1922).

The 39 William stories, about a mischievous 11-year-old schoolboy and his friends sold over 12 million copies in Britain alone. Ironically, William was originally created for grown-ups.

Michael Rosen chose Clown by Quentin Blake (1995).

Blake created a wordless book that was a “silent film between book covers” when it was published. The story involves a bin full of old toys, from which emerges a toy clown that comes to life.

Jacqueline Wilson chose The Railway Children by E. Nesbit (1906).

The story of a family who move near the railway after the father is imprisoned as a result of being falsely accused of selling state secrets.

Wilson also lists Mary Poppins among her favourites.

Quentin Blake chose Rose Blanche by Ian McEwan and Roberto Innocenti (1985).

McEwan collaborated with Italian illustrator Innocenti to create the story of Rose, a girl named after a group of young German anti-war protesters.

What would YOU choose as your list of top five children’s books of ALL TIME?

Post from: Crushable

Tales of Beedle the Bard goes on sale this week!

Wendy Boswell — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:52:02 +0000

This week, Tales of Beedle the Bard officially goes on sale (December 4). You can pre-order it for nearly half-off at Amazon, so head on over today and get a few copies for your family and friends!

Oh, and if you feel particularly generous, you can check out the Deluxe Hardcover Edition for a hundred bucks. All process go to a children’s charity:

The Children’s Voice campaign is run by CHLG. It campaigns for child rights across Europe, particularly in Eastern Europe where over a million children and teenagers are growing up in institutions, often in unacceptable conditions. In most cases they are without adequate human or emotional contact and stimulation, while many only just survive without life’s basics such as adequate shelter and food.

CHLG’s Children’s Voice campaign helps around a quarter of a million children each year through education activities; outreach work in institutions; and a dedicated telephone and email help line.

I’m planning on picking up two copies for Christmas!

Post from: Crushable