There’s something weird going on with Kristen Stewart‘s British GQ cover, and I think it’s that Kristen’s sporting a bedtime look in an outdoor setting. Kristen’s ensemble appears more sexy underthings than bikini, and it took me a couple glances to realize her hair’s supposed to be wet — to me, the connotation is “Boardwalk Empire theme party.”

GQ Isn’t Kristen’s only new cover; she also appears on this month’s Glamour. As Jezebel pointed out, Kristen’s vamped up for the men’s magazine and made to look friendly and accessible for her women’s mag shoot.

Surprise! Kristen looks miserable in both photos. You’ve got to wonder why the hell she does this stuff if it makes her so damn unhappy. Yeah, yeah… contracts, money, publicity, etc., but does it really help sell magazines to put an unsmiling, uncomfortable looking woman on the cover — no matter who she may be?

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Evidently Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a musician now, and he played a cover of Nirvana‘s “Lithium” at a show in Seattle last night. The Internet is all aflutter with reactions, and I certainly had a strong one of my own. Once again, I enlisted the Gchat account of Kasey Anderson, who’s currently in Seattle to play music that’s better than this song.

Kasey: Okay, so I just want to get this out of the way so I can really concentrate: He should have Joseph Gordon-left it alone. There. I feel better.

Liana: Cool, I feel worse.

Liana: Kasey, know that this was performed at a show in Seattle.

Kasey: Which is good, because in Seattle, people are too passive-aggressive to throw pairs of Chuck Taylors at Gordon-Levitt’s head, which is what should be happening in this video.

Kasey: Is he really explaining to his audience what a cover is?

Liana: Evidently they are all new to music. “Chapter Two: What Is a Chorus?”

Kasey: Holy shit, I just got to the part where he explains that it doesn’t matter that Cobain committed suicide because, “His songs are fucking awesome.” Which, if you’ll recall, was the NY Times obituary that ran after Cobain’s death.

Kasey: “Cobain is survived by his widow, Courtney Michelle Love-Cobain, their daughter Frances Bean, and fucking awesome songs.”

Kasey: This is so terrible. If this happened at a party you were at, you would leave that party. And then you would seriously consider never again speaking to whomever told you about the party. And then you would have to answer some hard questions about where you were in your own life that led you to a party where somebody would cover “Lithium” like this.

Liana: Here is something about Nirvana: They’re a band that can’t be covered or karaoke’d ironically. And as such, covering them becomes too earnest. Unless you’re Deer Tick.

Kasey: I feel like we’ve just done a service to McCauley’s band by mentioning them in this context but, yes, I agree. This is not a thing where you can parlay your aloof, quirky Pixies cover (also shitty beyond words) from that 500 Days of Insufferable flick into something, Joseph.

Liana: And it’s a little literal. Coming to Seattle and covering fucking Nirvana. It’s arrogant, right? All he’s missing here is a “Who the Fuck Is Krist Novoselic?” t-shirt.

Kasey: Speaking of, here’s how you do that in Seattle, Joe:

Kasey: See how they’re being reverent but not also coming across as joyless, self-important pricks? It’s actually not that hard!

Liana: Sidenote: That guitar player on the periphery is very handsome.

Kasey: I could not agree more. It is dangerous to look directly into his eyes.

(Ed. Note: That guitar player is in Kasey’s band. He is, objectively, very handsome.)

Kasey: Sorry, I kind of derailed us. It is really indicative of what Gordon-Levitt’s band must be like, if he feels he has to address his audience to explain how covers work and why Kurt Cobain’s songs were awesome.

Liana: I wonder what the audience was like. I imagine it was more kids who grew up with the mythology of Cobain than kids who grew up with Cobain.

Kasey: I hate to make a broad character judgment based on this four-minute video but he does not seem terribly concerned with anything other than how Cool he believes he is.

Liana: Correct. And how smart and insightful. I think what bothers me here is this: It’s fine to get up and play a cover of a band you like a lot, but to play a shitty, watered-down facsimile of the song and to treat it like you’re offering some unique experience is obnoxious. When Miley Cyrus covered “Teen Spirit” — which, well, was absurd for a million other reasons — at least she was just singing a song she thought was fuckin’ good.

Kasey: All intellectualizing aside, this is a horribly-played song. And that bothers me immensely. If you truly revere this song, and this band, then learn the song and practice it enough to play it well. Nirvana is one of maybe ten bands in the history of Rock ‘n’ Roll who actually earned every bit of reverence foisted upon them. If you want to get up on stage and stumble your way through The Replacements’ “Can’t Hardly Wait,” do that; Paul and Tommy did it countless times. But you don’t get on stage anywhere, and certainly not in Seattle, and prattle on about the importance of Nirvana and how “fucking awesome” those songs are, and then proceed to play “Lithium” with all the subtlety and dexterity of a teenager fumbling with his first girlfriend’s bra strap.

Liana: And on that note, Kasey Anderson will be on a park bench in Capitol Hill this afternoon playing acoustic Pearl Jam covers from 2-4. Bring nickels.

Kasey: A park bench? Who am I, Cisco Houston? I’ll be in the Seattle Center food court adjacent to the EMP.
And I’m not playing Pearl Jam originals, I’m playing all the songs they covered, so as to really break all the rules. Bring dimes.

And now, here Deer Tick playing “Lithium”:

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That chick from Pomplamoose better tell Gina to step off before they need to have a maniac pixie-girl music battle.

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So Taylor’s acoustic during a sit in at the BBC ‘s Live Lounge may be the only thing that could convince me to reconsider how I feel about the actress who plays Jenny Humphrey. Go figure.

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And here’s the original Joe Bermudez remix:

What do you think of the cover??

Hat tip to Maty

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Bianca Gisselle is currently working on her debut album. You can find out more on her MySpace. And, as a reminder, here is Hilary Duff’s final audio for ‘Holiday’:

Hat tip to KewlKid

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Look at this pretty one of Lauren & Hilary!! All the photos are so gorgeous!

I don’t (yet) have permission to post those photos legally, but if I get it I’ll update the post!

Thanks Sabrina! Logo: usmagazine.com

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