It was all the full frontal nudity in Shame that made the actor’s penis the talk of the town this past year. It was hard (pun!) to go anywhere without someone commenting on his, well, manliness.

In November our new favorite celebrity penis joined MTV’s After Hours host Josh Horowitz on his show where Fassbender showed that even outside of his own junk, he’s well acquainted with the junk of others and can easily identify fellow celebrity penises. He was shown photos of other actors who pulled a full monty and was only stumped once. Like we said, the man knows dick (pun!).

Then came the Golden Globes where in George Clooney‘s long (pun!) acceptance speech for his Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama award, he included a very complimentary shout out to fellow nominee Fassbender.

“I would like to thank Michael Fassbender for taking over the frontal nude responsibly that I had,” he said. “Really Michael, honestly, you can play golf like this with your hands behind your back,” he continued, mocking a golf swing with his hands behind back. “Go for it man, do it!”

Actually, the Golden Globes were full of a decent amount of penis jokes, because if we’re not talking cock, then we’ve lost all sense of ourselves.

Last night on the Late Show with David Letterman, Fassbender was at it again. In a playful retaliation to his A Dangerous Method co-star Viggo Mortensen, who told Letterman last week that Fassbender hops on one leg repeatedly in preparation for a scene, Fassbender went the penis route of course! He told Letterman that when Mortensen prepares for a scene he sits in the corner naked eating — wait for it — a banana. Get it? Penis? Banana?

So dearest Michael, we get it; we really do. You have a penis and it’s large and amazing and you’re probably being propositioned by women left and right because of it. Good for you. But can we please move on to another topic? How about your ass? That might be a nice change of pace and no one has put nearly enough focus on that part of your body. Frankly at the end of the day, a dick is a dick is a dick is a dick — or so I’ve been told.

Related posts:

• Hot Shot: Michael Fassbender Is GQ’s Newcomer Of The Year
• Michael Fassbender’s Full-Frontal Nudity (But Not Carey Mulligan’s) Gets Shame The NC-17 Rating
• Shame Star Michael Fassbender Defends Celebrity Sex Addicts

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Hey look, everyone’s favorite shiny vampire has finally shaved his bushy beard. Now Robert Pattinson is back to being the handsome dreamboat that launched a thousand teenage squeals instead of that guy you’d call homeland security on if you saw him sleeping in a Greyhound station. And guess what? He has teeth! Compare:

Robert was snapped on his way to chat with David Letterman yesterday afternoon to discuss all things (some things) Twilight. Should we be nervous about that stubble? Quick, someone call Schick! (And sell them my rhyme.)

(via Celebuzz)

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Last night, ascendant comedic actress Melissa McCarthy stopped by The Late Show With David Letterman armed with anecdotes and chutzpah to spare. Topics of conversation included her husband Ben (who has the awesome job of composing music for Looney Tunes) and her two “aggressive” young daughters, one of whom climbs everything and the other of whom likes to hit daddy “in the bagina.”

They also discussed that great moment during the Emmys when all the “Outstanding Leading Actress in a Comedy” nominees (Fey! Poehler! Linney!) rushed the stage and ultimately crowned McCarthy the winner. It’s cute that she was “starstruck” even as she was about to collect the prize, but the more amusing part of this conversation came when Letterman confused Rob Lowe for Ryan Seacrest. They have literally the same energy.

And what interview with a comedic actress would be complete without embarrassing her by pulling out some “character shots” from her early days in the biz? The photos Letterman dug up were truly priceless.

(Via ONTD)

Related posts:

• Melissa McCarthy Deserved Better Material For Her SNL Hosting Gig
• Crushable Quoteable: Jerk Boys Made Melissa McCarthy Quit Cheerleading
• 5 Facts About Mike and Molly Star (and Emmy Winner!) Melissa McCarthy
• Crushable Quotable: The Celebrity Inspiration Behind Melissa McCarthy’s ‘Bridesmaids’ Character Is…

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For some reason, Perez Hilton appears in Rihanna‘s music video for “S&M” … and gets spanked in the video. See for yourself. (The Frisky)

Liam Neeson discusses grieving over the sudden death of his late wife, Natasha Richardson. (Oh No They Didn’t!)

According to reports, LiLo is taking a break from her legal troubles and announcing the Top Ten List on the Late Night with David Letterman on Thursday. Wait, it gets better… Letterman’s guest on Thursday’s show will be Lindsay’s frenemy, Paris Hilton. Lindsay tweeted that she is not appearing on Letterman and that the story was a mistake.  Guess we’ll have to see for ourselves. (People)

The new couple, Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, displayed major PDA by making out in NYC. (Us Weekly)

Definitely not good news: newlyweds Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky are living apart. (YourTango)

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Post from: Crushable

Bill Marangos, CEO of SmokeStik, tells Crushable that Heigl and his company have a “common friend.” Well, Marangos ought to be buying that friend some nice presents right now.

SmokeStick sales have jumped since Heigl started shilling for them. According to Marangos, SmokeStik is “the celebrity choice for electronic cigarette.” But he also admits 90% of Americans had never heard of the product before Heigl started rolling around Hollywood with it.

And now, the company is benefitting from Heigl’s attempts to revive her image. The actress has gotten a negative reputation around Hollywood for running her mouth off. She’s also alienated a lot of  TV and film contacts in Hollywood. Like Judd Apatow, who couldn’t have been pleased when she called Knocked Up – the movie that made her a film talent – sexist. Heigl also didn’t help things when she bashed the writers on Grey’s Anatomy, withdrawing her Emmy nomination because she didn’t think the scripts were up to par.

Now, with her movie Life As We Know It out Friday, Heigl is frantically trying to restore her image as an American Sweetheart. And her struggle with trying to quit smoking is a great way to do that.

Says Marangos:

“We were just hoping that if she ever got interviewed, someone would ask her. We weren’t expeciting her to be on letterman and have him use the product. She did that on her own. We couldn’t be happier. “

But if you’re looking to get exactly the product Heigl has been using, you’re out of luck for awhile. SmokeStik sent her a highbrid model that’s not on the market yet – called a “pitbull.”

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1. Ricky Gervais’ blue ending to his set, “Don’t drink and drive. I did it, and almost killed a woman. Didn’t: just raped her.” Then he walked offstage.

2. The chick who pledged $20k to come onstage and have Chris Rock call her ex-boyfriend and curse him out. It was maybe the best moment of live television we’ve ever seen, but we know they are going to censor the hell out of it.

3. The awkward moment where Steve Carell auctioned off the chance to to hold his hand while he faked an orgasm and yelled the winner’s name onstage. Two women won, and one of them happened to be Naomi Watts. Too bad no one onstage (Jon Stewart included) seemed to recognize her. Steve Carell had to ask her name several times in fact. She was a good sport about it though, and ponied up $10 grand for the pleasure.

4. Sarah Silverman awarding herself “The Sarah Silverman Award for Autism”…over Temple Grandin. Really funny, but we’re not sure if the American public is ready for that kind of joke.

5. Jim Gaffigan’s 25 minute set about people who think they’re too good for McDonald’s. “Oh yeah? Every time you pretend that that Frappacino isn’t a milkshake…that’s McDonald’s. Every time you watch Glee…that’s your McDonald’s.” We could have watched an hour of this stand-up, but with limited time to show the concert, we doubt it’s all going to make the set.

6. Jon Stewart, David Letterman, and several other comics allusion to the firing of Rick Sanchez following the CNN anchor’s firing after he made on-air comments about Jews in the media..including Jon Stewart and his own bosses.

(Photo via WENN)

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• The Office is starting tonight, and whether or not this will be the last season is still up in the air. One thing guaranteed? Amy Ryan will be coming back by December. (Entertainment Weekly)

• iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove is making a cameo appearance on The Good Wife. (Wonderwall)

• American Idol‘s panel is now Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, alongside Randy Jackson. Fun! (Betty Confidential)

• Lindsay Lohan‘s got a new friend in Jesus, according to her father, and this new (kinda hot) televangical preacher. (TMZ)

• The Inception video game is going to take us to as-yet-unexplored dream states. (Nerve)

• Joaquin Phoenix “apologized” to David Letterman and his audience for fooling them with his I’m Still Here antics. But uh, Letterman was in on it? Sooo…(RadarOnline)

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A Broadway debut? Tennis at the U.S. Open? Strolling around New York while changing outfits? Ellen DeGeneres sure had one insane week. The talk show host made a guest appearance in the Broadway show Promises, Promises yesterday, where played a nurse alongside Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes. Earlier in the day, Ellen took tennis practice against superstar player Melanie Oudin on the U.S. Open courts. Slow down, Ellen! The woman really is a Jill of all trades.

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