There’s always room for dessert, am I right ladies? So slow down on the third glass of Merlot and make way for 5 helpings of thankfulness this
pie-gorging holiday. Join me in giving thanks for:

Naughty Brazilian Underwear Model With a Nice Body

Oh were it I that could be the little boy in this picture. A velvet red cap nestled on my luscious golden curls. Bright, shiny presents await me. All
mine, Mine, MINE! And lurking behind the doorway is my hunky second cousin related through marriage, of course, NOT by blood. He’s waiting for my holiday joy to reach a quivering climax, and at that very moment he’ll burst into the room and scoop me up into his muscled arms- socially acceptable. His toned quads will brace ever so slightly to lift me up- which I can enjoy knowing we don’t share the same DNA. His 8-pack of abs will clench tightly to support our collective weight. I can smell the nutmeg on his breath and feel the hot moisture on the small of my neck when he whispers “Merry Christmas” into my ear. Which is a natural thing to transpire between too people technically not related.
Anyway, that’s just the peaceful meadow my mind wanders into when I look at it. It’s kind of like a Rorschach if you think about it. What do you see?

Trashy Diesel Stunts

If stupid is the new smart, then call me UGLY for this photo from Diesel’s risqué romp through the New York Transportation Museum. Meaning I’m actually HOT. It sounds stupid, but it isn’t. Because it’s smart. And that’s how Diesel advertising works. Scenarios that look stupid, sound stupid, walk stupid and smell stupid are probably a duck. Get it? I don’t. I think that means the subliminal advertising is working. Or, I’m just mesmerized by 2 hunky crotches staring me square in the face. Or, I’ve killed another box of Franzia Rose. It’s like choose your own adventure, but sadder.

Men Who Get Eco-“friendly”

Special thanks to my niece (call me) in San Francisco for posting this ad for local business Ecohaus on her Tumblr, otherwise I may have never seen it. Now it’s my desktop wallpaper!

But seriously, I’m such an engorged (Gailed It) fan of this campaign that I’ve sent numerous emails and letters to Ecohaus expressing my personal pride for their wood. Some have come back to my mailbox but like I’ve always said, today’s handwritten “Return to Sender” is tomorrow’s love note. It’s like the outstanding Facebook friend request to my niece, how can I expect acceptance if I don’t repeatedly send out the offer. Charlene, would it kill you to accept? Because it’s killing me, haha. We have fun.

Marc and his Jacobs

Sorry. I don’t care what anyone says. This is not an advertisement for man perfume. This is an invitation. And God bless designer Marc Jacobs for taking the onus on himself to strip down, lube up and put a giant glass bottle on his crotch for the sake of the brand. I may not be able to fit
into any of his clothing, but I’m 73% confident I can find a way to slip in between those starry biceps. Bonus points for laying him the same bed of
foil I use to cook my personal Thanksgiving ham. Yum and yum.

Bang? Yes please.

Dancing Hugh Jackman

Shirts may be on in this Japanese fantasy folly, but all hats are off to Lipton Ice Tea for bringing a dancing HJ into my life.

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Below are the photos from the “purple” carpet for the event:

Love the off-the-shoulder look!!

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Below are the arrival photos – more photos to come!

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