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Fan Fiction: Notes From the Semi-Annual Meeting of the Bunny Mascot Union
MINUTES:
• Members present: Energizer Bunny, Nesquik Bunny, Trix Rabbit, Playboy Bunny, Easter Bunny
• Meeting called to order at 8:10 P.M. Ten minutes were allowed for snacks and immediate trips to the bathroom.
• Motion to allow Bugs Bunny into the union, finally: Motion denied, 4 to 1 (Energizer just has a thing for stuttering.)
• Vote: Baby carrots or Budweiser for the next meeting? Verdict: Budweiser.
Address by union president Trix Rabbit:
Thank you all for coming out. As you know, these meetings can be kind of boring, especially with our rabbit’s attention spans, but it’s very important that we continue to stand together. Nesquik, I know it’s especially hard for you to leave the house after dark these days.
Nesquik Bunny: It’s the fucking diabetes. Exhausting.
I wouldn’t know. First off, I have some bad news. Frank, the rabbit from Donnie Darko has passed away. Auto-erotic asphyxiation, investigations of suicide. I hope you’ll all put aside your feelings about the film, whatever they may be, and send your condolences to Frank’s widow, Zsa Zsa Gabor. More »
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The movie apparently is about a whole bunch of fictional characters – Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc. – banding together to fight the boogyman. Um, yes, sounds a little thin to me, don’t you think? Other actors rumored to be jumping on ship with… More »