Today’s PM Crush Links, a daily roundup of the afternoon’s most talked-about celebrity news:

• Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, alleged mistress of Jesse James, said she’s not a Nazi, she just likes posing for fetish photos. She also said that the “W” and “P” tattoos on her legs stand for “wet p&##y,” not “white power.” [TMZ]

• Jesse James‘ dog, Cinnabun, is not missing again as presumed — he was found in an unused storage room at West Coast Choppers. [People Pets]

• Jennifer Aniston told Ryan Seacrest that the part he turned down in her new movie, Just Go With It, was to play Heidi Montag’s husband. [RyanSeacrest.com]

• Since it’s Friday, here’s the trailer for Carey Mulligan’s new movie, The Greatest, about a girl who moves in with her dead boyfriend’s parents after getting kicked out of her own home for being pregnant. It’ll be much more uplifting than that description makes it seem, we promise.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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In an unintentionally hilarious feud with the National Enqurier’s Mike Walker,  Alec Baldwin shoots out phrases like “he’s a goat-footed, wheezy, old queen, and all my male lovers agree with me.” You should really read the whole thing. (dlisted)

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Somewhere in between, Blasberg manages to fit in a trip to Forever 21.

Hold up: What’s this man-about-town and style maven doing at a mass-market chain store for women who prefer to buy their trendy clothes on a tight budget? Specifically, the two-level, club music-thumping, highly-trafficked outpost in New York’s Union Square? Flanked by a Whole Foods and DSW shoe emporium, this particular Forevs 21 location speaks to the brand: loud, bold, unsubtle, down-market, hugely popular, a place to get prom dresses and work-y clothes (even if you’re much older than 21). My mother’s friend refers to it as “the hoochie store,” but as everyone from Blasberg to Tim Gunn to Stacy London will say, “It’s all about how you wear it.”

Which brings this back to Blasberg:  Crushable kidnapped him for a stunt tied to his new book Classy: Exceptional Advice For The Extremely Modern Young Lady. In the name of said stunt, Blasberg willingly agreed to pull Forever 21 looks that showed how to look classy vs. trashy; I volunteered to be the model/guinea pig, at my own risk. And truth be told, I was initially nervous to meet Blasberg given his high-fashion cache,  elite circle of friends (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Kate Bosworth, Chloe Sevigny) and strict standards on style and etiquette (sample advice from Classy:  “A lady looks presentable at an airport. Those leisure jumpsuits are for being at home. The airport is one of the last remaining places to meet eligible men who can afford to travel.”)

Would he be a judgy jerk? Would I leave Forever 21 scarred forever?

Turns out, Blasberg is neither too cool for school — nor too good for Forever 21.

The 27-year-old St. Louis native double-majored in journalism and dramatic literature at New York University; after graduating, he worked at Vogue and swiftly made a name for himself as arm candy for socialites and boldfaced names like Tinsley Mortimer and presidential daughter Barbara Bush (here’s the duo at a New York Rangers hockey game). A self-described “scholar-athlete” at Affton High School, where most kids went to the mall, Blasberg developed a taste for vintage clothing in his junior and senior years. “I guess in that bubble I was stylish,” Blasberg said in an interview earlier this week. “But I didn’t know who Versace was. Actually, that’s a lie!” When Gianni Versace was murdered in 1997, Blasberg — then around 14 — created a makeshift tribute to the designer in his bedroom with the centerpiece being a picture of Gianni with his sister, Donatella Versace.

“I guess it’s appropriate that I work in fashion,” he added, looking sporty-cool in a thrift-store denim button-down, plaid Opening Ceremony vest and YSL shoes.

Blasberg’s literary career took off when he edited the Olsens’ 2009 coffeetable book Influence, an ode to the twins’ style and personal heroes; after that gig, Blasberg scored a deal to write Classy, his style-and-etiquette guide for aspiring young social climbers that hits stores April 6. In the book, a collection of tongue-in-cheek essays, he weighs in on the vulgarities of skank culture: flashy designer logos, thong-baring, too much lipstick and eyeliner, and sexting. “A lot of this advice I’ve been dispensing for a while,” he said.  What really irks him: the lack of attention on classier celeb role models who cover up versus tackier stars who flash their crotches to the paparazzi on the way out of the limo. He refused to name the worst offenders — Heidi Montag? Miley Cyrus? Lindsay Lohan, perhaps? Come on! — but did offer Harry Potter star Watson as a positive example of a young star leading a new generation of classy refinement.

“There’s a lot of books out there are sort of, like, how to be famous in a month or, you know, sort of unhelpful, innappropriate yet amusing advice,” he said. “Whereas the over-reaching theme in my book is that you can still have fun and be a sophisticated woman. You can still have fun, you can still go out, you can still be cool and be classy.”

So there we were, at Forever 21, where I witnessed Blasberg’s ideas put into practice. He scoured the store with missionary zeal, selecting eight contrasting outfits in four categories: gingham, shorts, evening and leopard.

“I don’t fuck around at Forever 21,” he quipped.

The results of our expedition are in the gallery below. I  am still recovering from the humiliation of baring my blinding-white midriff to Blasberg and his publicist, as well as a brief fainting spell in the dressing room induced by the dizzying glare of flourescent lights. I have the forehead bump to prove it.

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Thanks for thinking of America, Spencer, as you attempt to stave off cyber terrorism, but as Americans, we here at Crushable would prefer our first line of cyber defense to be manned by people who weren’t Hills cast members.

This isn’t the first strange announcement from the Pratt family in recent weeks. Spencer’s wife, Heidi, is also going in a new career direction — last week she hired a psychic as her manager.

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A Men’s Health writer somewhere must be psyched about Gerard Butler’s inability to hold his tongue. On Jennifer Aniston: “Yeah, I trimmed her bush”. (Celebitchy)

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Today’s PM Crush Links, a roundup of the day’s most talked-about celebrity news:

• Actor Max Ryan, who plays Samantha’s love interest in Sex and the City 2, was seriously injured in a car accident yesterday. [Life & Style]

• Charlie Sheen is leaving rehab so he can resume taping epsiodes of Two and a Half Men. [RadarOnline]

• Justin Bieber will promote his album on QVC tonight. We may or may not live blog this ridiculousness. [MTV]

• Howard Stern criticized Gabourey Sidibe on his show, saying she’s “the size of a planet” and that she won’t work again. [Jezebel]

• The man who tried to blackmail David Letterman will get six months in jail. [The Wrap]

• Here’s a great roundup of Kathy Ireland’s greatest acting moments. [The Frisky]

• Heidi Montag is in a new Funny or Die video about plastic surgery, embedded for your pleasure:

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If you somehow missed her on the cover of People, Heidi had 10 plastic surgery procedures – that’s right, 10 – in one day. She emerged from under the knife looking like an alien disguised as a human being – that is, if the alien’s only knowledge of women came from airbrushed Playboy centerfolds.

It got me thinking: How could two girls who started down the same road together end up in such radically different places – with one a success story and the other a cautionary tale?

So in the great tradition of investigative journalism, I delved into Lauren’s new book for clues. Sweet Little Lies is the second book in Lauren’s L.A. Candy trilogy, which is about two friends who are cast in a reality show much like The Hills.

When we left our heroine, Jane, at the end of the first book, she was fleeing L.A. after scandalous photos with her boyfriend’s best friend landed on the cover of a tabloid. What she didn’t know was that her close friend and cast mate, Madison, was the one who leaked the photos. Hm… Speidi… Lauren’s sex tape rumors… Sound familiar?

So are the books any good? Actually, yes. They’re not going to win any awards (obvs), but the story is fast-paced and fun. If Lauren did the writing, she’s not half bad. Whether she did is up for debate. Lauren thanks a “collaborator” – novelist Nancy Ohlin – in the acknowledgements section, so she clearly had some help.

But that’s almost beside the point. We’re reading the books to get a taste of what it’s like to be the star of a show like The Hills, and Lauren’s tale doesn’t disappoint.

As Lauren describes it in the book, the experience is both surreal and kind of creepy. Friends and boyfriends are “cast” by puppet-master-like producers, who then subtly direct their interactions from behind the scenes. Everyone’s motivation is open to the same question: Is this just for the show?

At one point, it is described “like you’re a character in a novel, and you’re not sure you like the plot. In fact, sometimes you hate the plot. But there’s nothing you can do about it, because you’re not writing it.”

When their lives are being scripted, is it any wonder that some of the girls lose touch with reality?

As I see it, the heart of the difference between Lauren and Heidi is this: Lauren didn’t forget that real life is what happens when the cameras stop rolling; Heidi did. Her life is now lived for the cameras – the made-for-TV wedding to her fame-whore husband, the countless fake photo ops and now her scary physical transformation.

(Kristin Cavallari may not be handling things much better if the recent reports about her partying and drug use are true.)

After reading the books, I spent an afternoon watching some early episodes of The Hills. It was unexpectedly sad to see pre-facelift Heidi looking so fresh-faced and adorable. Where did that girl go?

So in the end, my research was a failure. I’ll never really understand Heidi. I’m just grateful that at least one of her cast mates has come out of The Hills unscathed… for now, at least. Try to keep it that way, LC.

—By Kristen Lee

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At a DUI progress hearing for Lindsay Lohan yesterday, Judge Marsha Revel said in court that Lindsay was, “In full compliance. Everything looks good.” Lindz still must complete the alcohol education classes she has been ordered to attend by July 2010. (Radar Online )

Those happy family photo ops in Venice are being staged “like a military operation” to quash reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting, sources said. The pair, who have vehemently denied a rift, have been seen daily as a family unit in the romantic Italian city. (Page Six)

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems,” says singer Elton John in an interview. Sir Elton also talks about his past relationships, drugs, and fame.
(Parade)

A friend of Heidi Montag says Spencer Pratt is looking to have some plastic surgery too! *According to the friend, Spencer is looking into “lipo, chest implants and a nose job.” (Perez Hilton)

Tina Fey will probably reprise her famous impression of Sarah Palin when she hosts Saturday Night Live in April, the comedian said. (Associated Press)

Simon Cowell knows what it takes to be an American Idol judge, and he says neither Howard Stern nor Madonna is the right choice to replace him next season. Cowell also said he would love to have Lady Gaga on the show as a mentor. (New York Daily News)

Although former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is six years too young to run, there is a grassroots movement to put her on the ballot for Indiana senator when Evan Bayh’s term is up. Asked about this, she said: “Oh yeah. I would change a lot in this world, let me tell you that.” Meanwhile, Wilkinson
said in another interview that she wants to have another baby. (Popeater, OK!)

Justin Timberlake thinks everyone wants to look like a rock star. “I think we all want to dress like rock stars,” Timberlake said. “That’s a pretty blatant correlation.” (MTV News)

Angelina Jolie was photographed in Venice, Italy Wednesday afternoon with two protruding muscles where her chin meets her neck. Dr. Elie Levine, a plastic surgeon who has not treated Jolie, says that it appears she’s “received Botox to her face and likely her neck.” (Us Mag)

Kristen Stewart is heading over to London this weekend, because she’s nominated for BAFTA’s Orange Rising Star award. So who will also be at the British awards show as a presenter? Well, Robert Pattinson, of course…(E! Online/Ted Casablanca)

Love has blossomed on the set of the final Harry Potter film between Bonnie Wright, who plays Ginny Weasley, and Twilight vampire Jamie Campbell Bower. (OK! U.K.)

Chris Brown earned a glowing probation report six months after he was sentenced to “labor-oriented service” for assaulting Rihanna. “It looks like you’re doing really, really well,” said Judge Patricia Schnegg, who reviewed his probation report. (CNN)

Conan O’Brien can’t appear on TV until September, but he has a plan that would keep him in front of audiences: putting on a series of live theatrical shows. (Page Six)

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