Crushable » Jonas brothers

Anonymous Former Child Actor Says Disney Used Miley Cyrus’ Scandals To Cover Up Demi Lovato’s Coke Problem

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:24:59 +0000

Reddit‘s AMA (Ask Me Anything) threads are often informative, enriching, and And every once in a while, they’re incredibly juicy. In a recent AMA, a 19-year-old woman currently living in New York City revealed that she is a former child star who did a lot of background work on Disney and Nickelodeon shows in 2010. That means she got to run in the same circles as Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and more—and boy, does she have some unflattering stories! Although she shares gossip on the familiar faces above, the worst one seems to be former Sonny with a Chance star Demi Lovato.

The user, thedictatorscut, couldn’t share much personal information, including her parents’ jobs, for fear of revealing her identity. Ostensibly the Reddit moderators approved her, since the thread makes no mention of her being a fake. So while we’ll take this with a grain of salt, let’s also move forward into the gossip, yeah?

To start off, thedictatorscut can confirm what we’ve long believed, that the JoBros’ purity ring act was fake:

Not to get too into detail (because this is one that could actually give me away), but yeah, no, they let their success go to their heads way too quickly. None of those guys had any business wearing a promise ring, hahaha. (And I’m not anti-sex, don’t get me wrong! I’m just anti-having-sex-with-older-women-and-lying-about-it-to-seem-like-good-Christians.) Joe was probably the worst of the three.

But because it hasn’t been asked yet: Zac Efron? Very professional. And retina-searingly beautiful.

Older women, huh? How Gossip Girl of you. And though she volunteers the compliments about Zac, the poster doesn’t say much either way about his ex and fellow High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens. (The only mention is when someone asks “How do I bang Miley Cyrus?” and she answers, Work with her. Or else just move to LA and become kind of a gross hipster. I dunno, man. Doesn’t Vanessa Hudgens seem like a more reasonable goal?)

Now, on to the big boys—or, as it may be, the big girls.

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Buck Up, Kevin Jonas — It’s Your Birthday And You’ve Got A Lot Going For You

Natalie Zutter — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 20:33:15 +0000

Dear Kevin Jonas,

I already used up my “we need to talk about Kevin” joke earlier in the week, but I still think it’s worth you and me having a heart-to-heart on today, your 24th birthday. I know that you get a lot of shit for being “the ugly Jonas” or “the lame Jonas,” but I want you to know that we at Crushable still value you.

You’re the oldest JoBro, and that’s got to be tough. I know what you’re going through, because I’m the oldest in my group of cousins. Sometimes you feel like the wet blanket because you’re more concerned with adult things like making a living, instead of just having your own Disney show or dating starlets (That was Joe‘s gig.) Plus Nick has that sexy diabetes thing going on, and that’s tough to upstage.

That famous Barbara Walters video didn’t help matters, unfortunately. (Start around 4:40.) I know you’ve probably seen it hundreds of times, but I’m going to repeat it here. When she asks you guys to describe each other, you say that Joe is the rockstar… Joe says that Nick is the President… and Nick says, “Kevin’s really… enthusiastic.” Then you make a face that looks like this:

It’s on you, Kevin. Stop being such a sad sack! Own your awkwardness! But even more, realize that even if you’re the third-place Jonas, you’re still part of history. You were a central member of the group that ushered in the new generation of young stars that preteens revere the way their (grand)parents did the Beatles. The Jonas Brothers were the predecessors for Justin Bieber: Sweet boys who played the Disney game and rocked out even as the media questioned their virginity.

And against all those odds, you were voted one of People’s Sexiest Men Alive in 2008. George Clooney was probably somewhere in that list, since he’s on every year’s list. And your inclusion was not ironic! Awkward guys are hot now. Just look at Jesse Eisenberg. You’re in good company, man.

Sure, you don’t make the best choices re: your image. You got married at an appallingly young age and gave that embarrassing quote about not knowing what to do on your wedding night. But you get to have sex now, man—anytime you want. (Sure, Nick and Joe have probably also ditched their purity rings and are plowing through groupies at every concert… but you get to have love and sex with the same woman. Yay?)

Yeah, not helping, sorry. Have you checked out Tumblr lately? Because they love you over there. Especially this person:

I love you, like a lot. There’s so much to love, I don’t see why people hate you. It’s just not right. It’s not fair. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out. Dani’s an incredibly lucky girl to have such a fantastic guy as you. You’re the definition of sweet. You always put others before yourself. You’re a PHENOMENAL guitar player. You’re genuine, which is hard to come by these days. And that’s just skimming the sur
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How Does New How to Succeed… Star Nick Jonas Stack Up to Predecessor Daniel Radcliffe?

Two-Dimensional Jonas Brothers Don’t Want Olivia Wilde Having Sex In Their Old House

Crushable 25: Guess Which Jonas Brother’s Career Matches with Which *NSYNC Member

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Gallery: Celebrities As Your Favorite Halloween Candy

Lucia Peters — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:43:23 +0000

Last week, we celebrated the arrival of fall by comparing celebrities to seasonal Starbucks beverages. This week, we’re celebrating the arrival of October– and Halloween season!– by comparing celebrities to Halloween candy. Who’s a 3 Musketeers bar? Who’s candy corn? Who’s the highly-regarded Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? Read on to find out!

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5 Facts About Delta Goodrem, Nick Jonas’ Older Woman Girlfriend

Liana Maeby — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:08:14 +0000

Nick Jonas has nabbed himself a hot older girlfriend in Australian singer/actress Delta Goodrem. The two have been dating since May of this year, and were recently snapped acting all cuddly on a trip to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Nick’s 19 and Delta is nearly 27 — which is a pretty big age difference, especially for the younger man/older woman arrangement. So who is Delta? Here are five facts about Nick’s lady:

1. Delta’s a superstar in her own right in her home country of Australia. The singer, whose music can be classified as poppy adult contemporary, has eight number-one singles and three number-one albums to her name.

2. Delta has battled cancer. At the age of 18, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which attacks the body’s immune system.

3. She actually rose to fame via her acting career. Delta starred on the Australian soap opera Neighbours (that’s Neighbors for you Americans) in 2002.

4. Delta was previously engaged to Westlife singer Brian McFadden, and began dating Nick just two months after their announced their split. Prior to Brian, Delta dated tennis star Mark Philippoussis, who was by her side during her cancer battle.

5. Delta often performs barefoot! That sounds dangerous and also hippie-ish.

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Two-Dimensional Jonas Brothers Don’t Want Olivia Wilde Having Sex In Their Old House

Anna Rubanova — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 20:08:46 +0000

Reluctantly beautiful and contently brainy House star Olivia Wilde appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week to promote her new sci-fi western Cowboys & Aliens. When asked about splitting her time between New York and Los Angeles, Wilde revealed she really liked LA but that she had some issues with her new home on the west coast, interestingly enough, because it had once been owned by the Jonas Brothers.

If the thought of that weren’t creepy enough, there’s this fact: they left cardboard cutouts of themselves in her garage. Wilde joked with Kimmel that the cutouts had somehow placed a “No Sex Hex” on the home.

Now, without jumping to conclusions, let’s just go with the idea that the Jonas brothers are some sort of mystical clan out to eliminate carnal desires by leaving simulacrums of themselves in other people’s homes. After all, Wilde did bring up the “lack of action” in the house and, judging by her copious amount of male fans, that could only be explained by Jonas-based witchery and not at all by her being terribly intimidating. Wilde also mentioned that she will often wake up to find the Joe Jonas cutout standing by her bedside, an alleged prank courtesy of her roommate. Sure. That’s what that is.

(Photo:JONAS BROTHERS GROUP CARDBOARD CUTOUT LIFE SIZE STANDUP CUTOUT)

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Good Idea or Bad Idea? Joe Jonas’ Single Cover Drops

Lilit Marcus — Mon, 30 May 2011 18:29:49 +0000

The Jonas Brothers aren’t exactly broken up, but each of them has moved on to side projects. Middle bro Joe Jonas has a new single coming out, “See No More,” and the whole album, Fastlife, hits stores on September 6. What do you think of Joe’s new look? And will you buy his album?

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Crushable 25: Guess Which Jonas Brother’s Career Matches with Which *NSYNC Member

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:30:39 +0000

“The Jonas Brothers” hardly describes a teen sensation musical group anymore; at this point, Nick, Joe, and Kevin have all moved on to solo projects. In order to try and predict their success rates, we’ve matched them up with specific members of another boy band whose members split but went on to a bevy of projects: *NSYNC. To further prove our points, we’ve merged each member with his career doppelganger, for you to guess. Enjoy!

Nick

Nick shares a lot in common with this *NSYNC alum: Both are the most recognizable members of their groups, began their performing careers when they were wee lads (on Broadway and on The Mickey Mouse Club), and have played thinly veiled versions of themselves in movies and on TV. You might say that Nick was… justified in starting Nick Jonas & the Administration. Just put the kid on SNL and he’ll be a perfect match for… Justin Timberlake!

Joe

The resemblance between Joe and this *NSYNC alum is actually uncanny, with the dark hair and eyes they share. Both have ties to dance, with Joe donning a black unitard to imitate Beyonce‘s “Single Ladies” video and his doppelganger serving as a judge on America’s Best Dance Crew. Joe’s had more acting experience thanks to Camp Rock and guest roles on shows like Hot in Cleveland, but his older self has made guest appearances on songs by artists like the Backstreet Boys, David Archuleta, and Santana. I give you… JC Chasez!

Kevin

Like this former *NSYNC member, Kevin seems to have moved away from music for the moment. Both are married — the eldest JoBro got hitched in 2009 — and seem to enjoy the calm of domestic life. That said, they’ve stayed in the pop-culture zeitgeist wth TV appearances. Both have been on MTV recently in non-musical contexts: Kevin reminisced in an episode of When I Was 17, whereas his lookalike showed MTV around his house on Cribs. So who’s Kevin’s career lookalike? If you’re a Dancing with the Stars fan, you’ll recognize season 4 runner-up… Joey Fatone!

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Crushable Quotable: Taylor Swift Doesn’t Want You To Think She’s Sexy

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:36:05 +0000

Taylor Swift doesn’t wear a purity ring like the Jonas Brothers or Selena Gomez, yet the country/pop star believes that, almost five years into her career, she’s been able to portray the image that she wants: Sweet but not oversexualized.

“I don’t want people to think of me as sexy. [It's not a career decision,] it’s just a life decision. I like wearing pretty dresses and I like trying out new styles but I don’t feel comfortable taking my clothes off. I wouldn’t wear tiny amounts of clothing in my real life so I don’t think it’s necessary to wear that stuff in photo-shoots.”

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Hey Jonas Brothers Fans, Jonathan Clay Is Winning Our Crushable 25 Poll. Are You Going To Stand For That?

Crushable Staff — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 20:51:50 +0000

Jonas Brothers fans (and fans of Surfer Blood, Mike Posner and James Blake for that matter) how could you let this happen? As of this moment, 25-year-old singer-songwriter Jonathan Clay is winning our poll for the best male musical act under 25. (Results subject to change depending on when you’re reading this.)

The winner of our poll will make it on this year’s 25 Crushable Guys Under 25 list, which is no small feat. (Don’t believe us? Check out who made last year’s list.) So — hurry up and vote before the polls close this Thursday! Tell your friends to vote for your favorite act and get him to the top of the list. Learn more about the 5 musical acts up for your consideration here. And if you think we forgot someone or a band who are all under 25 years old, leave their name in the comments below.

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The Crushable 25: Vote To Get Your Musical Crush On The List

Crushable Staff — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 16:34:21 +0000

We’re on a quest to track down the 25 Most Crushable Guys Under 25. As we speak, our intrepid reporters are combing through all the talented (and hot) actors, musicians, athletes and media personalities who are 25 and under and making their mark on the world today for Crushable’s second annual list. Choosing from such a talented pool of men hasn’t been easy. (For reference, see who made last year’s list here.) But we’re determined to narrow down the competition using a number of factors (not least of which includes a contender’s unique “Crushable Quotient”).

We all know that some actors (ahem… Robert Pattinson) and musicians (cough…Justin Bieber) are bound to make the cut. But there are a host of other young men, including some up and coming musicians, who are just on the cusp of making it in, and we just can’t bring ourselves to make the final cut.

That’s where you come in. We’re calling guys picked through these polls the Reader’s Write In candidate, and the musician or musical group who wins your vote from this poll will find himself/themselves holding that title on this year’s 25 Crushable Guys Under 25 list. So, which of these picks is filling up your iPod and has you maxing out your credit card on Ticketmaster? You tell us. Cast your vote below, and send it along to your friends and fellow fans. Voting will close at 5 p.m. EST on Thursday March 17.

Do you think we left someone off the list? If so, tell us in the comments below. And, to learn more about our candidates, read on.

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