Tori Spelling’s 3-year-old son, Liam Mcdermott (@LiamsWorld), now has a Twitter account with more than 16,000 followers. He still writes cleverer stuff than most celebrities.

Comparatively, this is Jeremy Piven’s (@jeremypiven) most recent tweet. See what we mean?

Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) acts all benevolent towards her clumsy help, but we bet she beat him with a blow-dryer after tweeting this.

So wait…Courtney Love (@CourtneyLoveUK) has a website entirely devoted to what she wore today? And she’s paranoid people are trying to steal her style? Oh right, forgot we were talking about Courtney Love for a second.

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Celeb Tweetup: Youth Is Wasted On The Babies

Rinse! Lather! Repeat! Diddy (@iamdiddy) gives us some good life advice.

Living the single life sounds really exciting Joe Jonas (@JoeJonas). Maybe you saw those Demi Lovato bikini pics and are just feeling footloose and fancy-free?

Seriously. Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) now has a perfume inspired by her favorite food, ringpops. Shit is out of control.

I think that’s basically your word of the year, Nick Cannon (@NickCannon). Did we mention your wife just made a perfume out of ring pops? Just because she can?

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Celeb Tweetup: Motivational Speakers

Kristen Stewart says she “made an enormous mistake” by comparing paparazzi pictures of herself to a woman being raped. (People)

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Crush Links: Kristen Stewart Puts Foot In Mouth, Apologizes

Need more examples of annoying things celebrities do in the media (besides trying to be Single White Conrad)? Look no further than these most glaring ones:

• Coy pregnancy non-denials: Remember when Jennifer Lopez refused to confirm she was having twins when she was eight months pregnant (and wearing form-fitting dresses)? Now, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are playing coy, with Nick issuing a vague tweet that Mariah will make an announcement when she is GOOD AND READY. Meanwhile, he tells George Lopez all about losing his virginity to an older lady in middle school. Ha! If you’re gonna be that open on national TV, Nick, don’t skirt around the OTHER THING! Mariah is pregnant. ‘Fess up or face backlash!
• Exaggerated sexcapades: Will  Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are always bragging to the media about their sex life, that the key to a successful marriage is having “really really good sex,” they’re “really good at it,” they do it all the time, blahblahblah. This has been going on for years, and now we’re a little suspect! If you have to talk about how awesome you are all the time, are you really that awesome behind closed doors — or are you overcompensating for something? Hmmm.
• Celebrities in bikinis talking about weight loss: You know when C-listers appear on the covers of celebrity weeklies wearing bikinis alongside the headline, “How I lost (fill in the blank) pounds?” SNOOZE. Pilates, schmilates. Diet pills, blech. Don’t eat this muffin, eat this carrot chip instead! Somehow these covers end us selling — celeb have been selling (sham) diet regimens for years — but we’re not buying that So-and-So refuses to indulge in a chocolate chip cookie every now and then. Someone we will take seriously: Lea Michele, who is a new-ish vegan (not saying that lifestyle is the healthiest way to go but it’s better than that horrible Blueprint Cleanse that will make you pass out).
• Publicity stunts: Did Heidi and Spencer break up? We wish. As it happens, their faux marital separation is an elaborate scheme to get media attention. And it’s working! (See?). Also see: the Greyson Chance “viral” clip that made him a star but was allegedly leaked by savvy marketers. Also, PR stunts get old and boring and we see right through them. If fans can’t tell if they’re being hoodwinked or not, they lose interest (and build resentment). Exception to the rule: Joaquin Phoenix.
• Mischa Barton. She doesn’t do anything except get photographed in shredded hot pants. This is the problem.
• Scott Disick. Get a job! (That’s what she said).
• Orlando Bloom. Stop obsessing over Miranda Kerr and read some scripts!

So now! We throw it back to you: What irksome things do you see celebrities do in the media? Or do any particular celebs irk you just by being? Tell us in the comments! (If you need to vent, we’re all ears!).

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Between The Lines: Most Annoying Things Celebrities Do In The Media

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Crush Links: Sue Sylvester Marries (!!!)

Nick Cannon

I was always a little attracted to women that were a little older than me. I even lost my virginity to an older lady. …. I actually ended up crying at the end of the whole ordeal. She was in high school and I was in junior high …we were in a sleeping bag … I said we should change positions, she was like “just get off me!” She ran into the bathroom with all of her friends and they were in there laughing … I vowed from that day forward no woman would ever laugh at me in the sack again and that’s when the “Cannon” was born!

Ha! Well, obviously Nick’s skillz have improved — if those baby rumors are too be believed, than Mariah is pregnant with their child and there will soon be a little Nick or Mariah running around!

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Crushable Quote Of The Day: Nick Cannon On Losing His Virginity To An Older Woman (Not Mariah Carey)

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Crush Links: Danielle Staub's Ex-Husband Denies He Killed Her Dog

Alex Skarsgard in Swedish Hammarby viral spot:

What the hell is going on here at this Mariah Carey Japanese Nescafe commercial? No friggin’ clue. But it is amazing.

Paris Hilton’s German ad for the yellow pages:

Orlando Bloom’s best work can be found in this Hong Kong hair wax epic tale of love and art:

The 80’s were a great time for Jeff Goldblum in these British Holsten Pils ads.

Ben Stiller for a Japanese soda:

Did David Lynch direct Nicolas Cage in this Sankyo Pachinko ad series? Jesus.

The words we’ve always been waiting Ewan McGregor to say…thanks to Aeon’s Japanese commercials:

Britney Spears, before K-Fed, before the kids, loved her some Japanese candy.

Hugh Jackman was in a Lipton’s commercial my sister for the Christopher Walken/Fatboy Slim song.

Did we miss anyone? If you have the goods on George Clooney shilling Dr. Pepper or whatever in Russia, send us a shout.

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The Best Of ... Celebrities' Foreign Commercials

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Crush Links: Lea Michele Is Sweet, Says 'Glee' Creator

Audrina Patridge giggled on a couch next to Stephanie Pratt, while Kristin Cavallari stood a few feet away, looking like a ’60s go-go gal in a white mini dress, with huge bouffant hair. Brody Jenner sat nearby laughing and texting. MTV cameras surrounded the group, filming.

No Spencer or Heidi to be found, and Brody, Audrina and Stephanie steered clear of reporters on the red carpet. Guess no one wanted to talk about Spencer, who has been getting wackier and more abrasive on the show, even calling Heidi’s mom “just a vagina” on the May 11 episode.

Brody told radio show Kidd Kraddick in the Morning on Wednesday that his former best friend had “kind of lost it a little bit.”

Across from The Hills gals, NYLON cover girl Vanessa Hudgens shimmied next to a heat lamp, wearing a swanky purple Vera Wang mini and complaining that her head hurt because of her hair, swept up into a tight bun.

The 21-year-old brought along the best arm candy a starlet could have: boyfriend Zac Efron. “We’re real people. We came to Hollywood and we’re having fun, man,” Zac told Crushable. “We’re just trying to keep it real.”

The grinning duo epitomized Young Hollywood, definitely the golden couple of the night. Fellow High School Musical alum Ashley Tisdale wove throughout the crowd with towering boyfriend Scott Speer.

Vanessa gushed about prepping for her August stint in a revival of the musical Rent, directed by Neil Patrick Harris.

“I just want get my voice ready for it,” she said. “I need to get training again, and just really prepare myself. It’s a really physically demanding and really challenging thing. I’m really excited.”

She also said she would definitely be into appearing on Glee. A must for any musical theater vet.

When asked about her beauty favs, the Neutrogena spokeswoman kept to the basics.

“My main thing is Neutrogena sunscreen. It’s important to keep your face healthy,” said Vanessa, ever perky.

Like The Hills clan, fellow NYLON cover girl Ashley Greene conspicuously avoided reporters, thus avoiding the question everyone wanted to ask: was the Twilight star and her co-star Kellan Lutz, as reported by the Hollywood Reporter, holding out on signing on to the saga’s last film installment for better pay? Greene, slinky in a yellow and black polka dotted mini, bounced to the music, but kept her mouth shut.

Still, Twilight hottie Charlie Bewley (he’s blonde, he’s British, he plays Volturi vampire Demetri) said he heard production for Breaking Dawn, which it’s been reported could be split into two films, was going to start in the winter or fall. He couldn’t speak about Ashley’s negotiations, laughing, “I’m an actor, I’m not an agent.”

A few hours into the party, the pool area was packed with fresh-faced stars, from Zoe Kravitz to 90210’s Shenae Grimes and 16-year-old Justin Bieber lookalike Alexander Gould of Weeds. Whitney Port made out ferociously with her boyfriend Ben Nemtin next to the DJ booth. Christina Milian looked super slim post baby.

“I just hired a trainer this week,” said Christina, wearing fringe-y Louboutins. “That first bit I lost was all just the way I was eating, a lot of liquids, drinking a lot of water, a lot of raw vegetables, salads.”

The singer said her 2-month-old daughter was beautiful and happy.
“I sing her the ABCs and ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,’ and a little bit of Mariah Carey,” she added.

Surrounded by svelte starlets, David Hasselhoff’s teen daughter Hayley Hasselhoff reflected on the pressures of fitting into young Hollywood, with its leggy standard. While others stuck to skintight leggings and black blazers, Hayley looked cute in a pink dress. The actress is filming TV series Huge, about a weight-loss camp.

“Girls need to realize that voluptuous is just as in,” she said. “It’s just that people don’t really advertise it as much. I think it’s because they want people to think you have to be a certain way. It isn’t reality. It isn’t life.”

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Crushable Party Report: NYLON's Young Hollywood bash brings 'The Hills,' Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron