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Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Memorandum
To: All Prada Employees
From: Mr. Prada
This memo is to inform all employees that we have chosen Michael Pitt as new face of our Spring/Summer 2012 Menswear campaign. I know this seems like an odd choice — selecting a man who’s wardrobe is comprised of old t-shirts stolen at dinner parties from wicker baskets in the basement marked “rags” and Salvation Army boots that have been resoled eight times, at 500% cost — but we actually have a highly thought-out strategy here. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Dear Mr. Michael Pitt,
The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences cordially invites you to attend the 63rd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, to be held from 5PM – 8PM on the evening of September the 18th and the NOKIA Theater. Black Tie. Please R.S.V.P.
Dear The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Michael Pitt’s Joy Division t-shirt is soo much more in Arabic than your Joy Division t-shirt, so don’t even come at me like your Joy Division t-shirt is more in Arabic than Michael Pitt’s Joy Division t-shirt, okay? I bet Michael Pitt listens to Unknown Pleasures while he’s fucking. I bet that’s totally his go-to sex record — and yes, I mean record because Michael Pitt obviously has it on vinyl, you dummy
This is what I imagine it’s like to have sex with Michael Pitt: More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Have you guys had a chance to check out Michael Pitt’s new psychobilly band? We caught them a couple months ago when they opened for an Elvis Hitler tribute outfit called Presley Adolf, playing a used Cadillac dealership in Pomona, CA at four in the afternoon. Michael Pitt rocked the guitar, and his tattoos played the fedora. Fifteen kids were in attendance, and only nine of them ended up dead. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
In this feature, we dissect the outfits of Michael Pitt like an overly enthusiastic sixth-grader would a frog dripping with designer formaldehyde.
Michael Pitt would like you to know that he has some tricks up his sleeve. Oh yes – just when you think it’s all torn shirts and army jackets and shoes polished in dog shit by a crust punk named Axel who lives on the steps outside the methadone clinic, Michael Pitt will show up looking perfectly dapper in a designer suit. But you know what? Michael Pitt would also like to let you know that he has something else up his sleeve, and it’s a bottle of absinthe. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
In this feature, we dissect the outfits of Michael Pitt like an overly enthusiastic sixth-grader would a frog dripping with designer formaldehyde.
When I was a child, I had an invisible friend named Michael Pitt. He lived in a pillow fort I made for him in the back of my closet, and for clothing he wore old things from the rag bucket my mother kept underneath the kitchen sink. His favorite shirt was an olive green button-down that smelled like Pine Sol and had flecks of spaghetti sauce on the sleeves. He only wore it on special occasions, like when we’d make tea for the squirrels or fingerpaint our dreams onto tree bark or try to find faces in the clouds. Or when we’d take baths together. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Maybe you’re looking at this photo of Michael Pitt in an army jacket and you’re thinking “How dare he! How dare this pretty boy actor from New York wear a soldier’s garment that he purchased for a couple bucks and a wry smile at a military surplus store. That he tossed into his messenger bag, took home, rolled through the garbage disposal, and shredded with his girlfriend’s pinking shears. Seriously, how dare he!” More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
Back in in high school, we always felt a weird affinity for the goth kids. They never did their homework, were categorically incapable of making eye contact, and took all the good seats at the back of the bus, but we admired the sheer level of commitment they gave to their bizarre little black-and-red clique anyway. Plus, they usually had Vicodin and were willing to trade a few pills for a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
But the thing that makes Michael Pitt different from Angel, Sergio and Spider is that it’s painfully obviously just by glancing at those blue eyes (what, cat contacts were too expensive?) that the commitment level isn’t there. Michael has never worn a corset or painted his face with blood or jerked off to a pair of angel wings strapped onto an umbrella, and for that reason we can’t respect this little foray into goth subculture. Angel never once strayed from to his all-black look — probably because his wardrobe consisted entirely of a hoodie, two button-downs, an AFI tee and a pair of ketchup-stained boots from Goodwill. But Michael will don the occasional tuxedo or hit the red carpet looking much more Kurt Cobain than Robert Smith. And he has never once growled in public. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
You know how sometimes you’re on the bus late at night and you take a seat in the corner next to a guy who seems kind of fancy in a suit and then you look more closely and realize the suit’s way too big for him and none of the pieces match and instead of, like, loafers he’s wearing dirty boots with broken shoelaces, and then you catch a whiff of fried chicken and look down at his lap where a plastic container of mashed potatoes and dark meat is slowly going bad, but the guy’s not eating any of it because he’s asleep or mostly asleep or going through the motions of falling asleep and then waking up over and over again, and you realize the dude is totally nodded out on heroin, and it clicks that this guy is on his way back from meeting with like his parole officer or some government agency, so he’d cleaned himself up, put on his nicest clothes, got through the meeting and then promptly went and scored more drugs, but before shooting up he thought he’d try and get a meal in but he didn’t even make it to a single bite, and then, suddenly, you get super depressed about every single thing in the world?
That’s the vibe Michael Pitt was channeling at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont the other night. More »
Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?
(This is a brand new feature in which we dissect the outfits of Michael Pitt like an overly enthusiastic sixth-grader would a frog dripping with designer formaldehyde.)
Oh, Michael Pitt, what are you wearing? Oh, Michael Pitt, why are you wearing it? This particular outfit emphasizes a hotly debated question in the universe of Michael Pitt scholars: Is Michael Pitt a priest or isn’t Michael Pitt a priest?
Evidence that he is a priest:
• He’s wearing a rosary
Evidence that he isn’t a priest:
• He never went to seminary
• His Wikipedia page doesn’t say he’s a priest
• He’s in a rock band More »
