It was bound to happen at some point and it looks like a group of Emerson students were the ones to take the plunge with their Human Centipede adaptation. Watch at your own peril — and if you’re really brave, the rest of the play’s online as well.

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But being among the first reviewers, Peers had some notes for Taymor, and a lot of it involved what to cut in the production to make it suck less, which gave us a glimpse at some of the weirder elements of the Spidey musical. Like the Goddess Athena, a “geek chorus,” and some references to the Ides (of March, presumably?)

Cut everything between the opening scene at the Brooklyn Bridge and the bit when Peter Parker’s crushing on Mary Jane in the radioactivity lab. Yes, all of it. That means the awkward high school rumble, the slow walk around Queens, the Goddess Athena (!), the first Norman Osborn rant, Mary Jane’s abusive dad…

Cut the comic-book writers. This laptop-toting Geek Chorus that narrates much of the action stop the proceedings cold whenever they show up.

As Editor Meghan pointed out, Spider-Man is already sort of a Greek tragedy in the traditional sense, so that may be what Taymor is extrapolating for her production. But with so many other elements to juggle with turning a comic book mythos into the most expensive stage production ever, you’d think that adding another conceptual layer to Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark would be like adding more twigs to this shit pyre.

Plus a “geek chorus” reminds us of all those “updated” versions of Shakespeare they’d try to get us interested in during high school drama class. “What if we put on Othello…but it’s in the future?!” “What if we set Oedipus in the Wild West?” No, shut up. Oedipus only works with vegetables.

Related posts:

• All The Things That Have Gone Wrong With ‘Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark’

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Jurassic Park the Musical Part 1 from Mark Hennings on Vimeo.

What, they couldn’t get Jeff Goldblum? As devoted Jurassic Park fans, we can’t believe it took more than fifteen years for someone to musicalize the dino park film. Seriously, this looks awesome and we’re taking credit for recognizing a RENT song from the first note. (via The Daily What)

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Did 9/02/10 day start a 90s-nostalgia trend? Word’s out about a brand new Spice Girls musical, set to debut in 2012. Except it turns out Viva Forever (um, long live forever?) won’t actually feature any of the singers or even mention their names. Instead, the play will be about… drumroll please… reality TV!

The Spices have all signed off on the musical, which will involve their girl-powered songs. Inspired by our fame-obsessioned culture, Viva will be set behind-the-scenes of a TV talent show. Producer Judy Craymer, the woman behind Mamma Mia, described the show as “encompassing the Spice Girls’ ethos of friendship, identity and being true to yourself.”

That leaves only one important question: Are we finally going to find out what it means to zigazag-ha?

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Except of course, Jake Gyllenhaal and Jim Carey, the former of whom is trying to ruin my morning by announcing his role in the new film adaptation of this like, century-old musical.

Carey will be playing the singing devil,  natch, who makes a Faustian bargain with Gyllenhaal, who will be playing old-timey baseball player Joe Hardy who wants more crack at the big leagues. When asked if he’d be doing his own vocals, Jakey tersely replied, “Of course, I sing. I’ve been singing since I was a little child.”

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Did you hear that Bring It On is heading to Broadway?

Bring it on.

Translating the campy-fun cheerocracy to the stage is something we can get behind — if it’s handled right. There have been a slew of announcements in the past few years about intrepid producers attempting to transform film favorites into Broadway-bound musicals (looks like the whole “remake” trend isn’t isolated to Hollywood). Clueless, Heathers, Teen Witch and The Notebook are all rumored to be on their way to the stage. Plenty have made it there already — Legally Blonde, Shrek, and Billy Elliot, to name a few recent examples.

Since the beloved Bring It On is one of our favorite movies — we’re convinced Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union gave the best performances of their careers as the ditzy head cheerleader with a heart of gold and her tough inner city rival, respectively — we’re a little touchy that a musical version could put the “whore” in horrible. (Though it does seem perfect for adaptation, considering all of the complicated cheer choreography.)

The Bring It On musical is set to debut in Atlanta next season, reports Variety, and In The Heights‘ Lin-Manuel Miranda and Next To Normal‘s Tom Kitt are behind it. Just as long as Sparky Polastri doesn’t handle the choreography, we’ll remain optimistic.

Would you see a Bring It On musical?

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According to sources Britney’s recent visit to New York and attending The Heights was more about just promoting her single Womanizer. “She is, reportedly, on the look out for the right fit to announce her stage debut,” sources tell the New York Daily News.

In the past few months the notion of Britney’s comeback through a Broadway role was mentioned more than once. Even KFed was said to have had such talks so I would be careful planning the next trip to New York…

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Apparently the plans include a big move to the Big Apple and a leading role on Broadway. According to this week’s Life&Style, “Britney was in serious talks to be the new Sandy in the show Grease,” but it was Jaime Spears who suggested that she sticks around at least until the August session.

What about KFed? Well he may be following Britney as well. According to the magazine’s source “he [Kevin] and Britney have talked, and they’re hoping that in six to 12 months they can both be in New York with the kids, working in different shows.” Kevin was, apparently, offered a role as the UPS guy on Legally Blonde.

Is Britney’s plan to sell her house, due to this upcoming move? What do you think?

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