We’re all so silly for assuming that Paris Hilton is a Nazi sympathizer. How could we ever come to that conclusion? Who is she, Jesse James?! Ahahahaha. Ahahahahaha. After two botched international pot busts, Paris is living it up in St. Tropez, or “Florida” for rogue celebutantes. Her rep says, “Paris was dancing and having fun with her arm up in the air as she always dances like that and was scratching [her] face when a photo was taken … The hat was not a communist hat, it’s a military style hat from a club. Half of her family is Jewish and many of her friends are as well.”

Paris, exonerated again. Now let’s see if she tries to “out-Lindsay” Lindsay.

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Paris Hilton Is NOT a Nazi! Isn't This Whole Thing Hilar?

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Well, see, this is just lazy Wilmer Valderrama (@WillyVille). You can’t just tack yourself on to someone else’s Follow Friday (Ricky Martin’s no less!) and then front about it in Spanish.

Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) is on vacation, which is hard to differentiate from her normal life, we know.

Then again, some people really don’t understand the concept of “vacation” because they’ve taken one from reality for so long. Courtney Love (@CourtneyLoveUK).

Is it called “Being famous?” Good job with that, Audrina Patridge (@OfficialAudrina).

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Celeb Tweetup: The Rich and the Condescending

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Crush Links: Paris' Pot

Leave it to Paris Hilton to tweet this actually hilarious picture from her namesake city of Paris, France. Paris’ tweet pretty much sums it up: “Haha, in france they changed the title of the movie ‘Hangover’ to this.”

[via MTV.com]

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Guess What 'The Hangover' Is Called In France?

Paris Hilton (@parishilton) was in Paris, trying to avoid the paparazzi and failing.

Meanwhile, Mena Suvari (@mena13suvari) traveled to another French city, Montreal

And Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) headed to Australia:

And Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Caroline Manzo (@carolinemanzo) headed to the Jersey Shore with daughter Lauren:

Meanwhile, back in New York, Bethenny Frankel (@bethenny) was using the same marketing at her show to promote her guest hosting gig on The View next week:

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Celeb Tweetup: Paris Does Paris

These women get the goods – wind up dating the talent in some cases – and burn out after a couple years. I’ve known girls like this, one of whom freelanced for People magazine’s West Coach branch. She sold gossip on Paris (her high-school friend), dated Adam Brody and friended David Spade. She was thin and friendly and drank a lot.

The Los Angeles Times exposes these creatures of the night in an excellent article that should have been written in 2005 but still holds up in this 24-7 celebrity-news era. According to Times reporters Chris Lee and Matt Donnelly:

“I always say, it’s living like a call girl without the sex,” former club girl Suzy McCoppin said.

Well, not exactly.

A onetime Playboy pinup who worked as a nightclub reporter for Star magazine for three years before getting “banned from every club in the city,” McCoppin said she once sold a story describing a weekend tryst with British pop star Robbie Williams to the London tabloid News of the World for $40,000. She embodies the kind of club girl who goes beyond reporting the story to becoming the story.

“A lot of club girls want to be famous,” said Evan Matthew, a former senior reporter for Star magazine who also recruited nightclub reporters for four years. “The hope is, being a club girl will get them closer to the celebrities. And they’ll become an actress. Or they’ll start dating a celebrity.”

Jezebel writer Sadie Stein says the story overlooks the perils of this job, namely the burnout and the boozing that come with the territory. And there’s also the moral dilemma of squeezing gossip out of celebrities and other hangers-on who become the story, too. “I have a friend who used to do something very similar while trying to get a screenwriting career off the ground, and she emailed me, ‘You just start to feel … dirty,’” Sadie writes.

I’ve been reporting on celebrity-and-entertainment news for the past five years, I don’t fully endorse sinking to such seedy levels to get great scoop – call me old-fashioned -  but I can understand why magazines like Star trot out starstruck hotties to do this kind of dirty work. Deep down, these women want to BE the story, and like the Times says, have a little fun doing it. If they land next week’s sensational headline, why not reward them in the process?

They’re not all in Los Angeles, though. Go to any given NYC hotspot, at any given wee hour of the morning, and you’ll see them. You might see them chatting up John Mayer, who should be more careful next time.

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Celebrity Reporter-Moles Get Scoop (And So Much More)

Well, we know the duo doesn’t actually talk to each other: Doug recently gave an interview in which he gave his “hypothetical” speech to his former teammate. “Hey, you’re a quarterback for the Jets,” Doug would say, “Remember when you were my backup?”

He probably does, Doug, he probably does.
(Photo via WENN)

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Doug Reinhardt's QB Backup Was Mark Sanchez?