You know what makes me sad? Kittens with teeny tiny casts on their legs. English pop star Jessie J knows this, and has decided to use it against me.

In a bid to melt her haters’ icy hearts, Jessie J has been channeling the wounded kitten look as she limps around Paris this week, rocking a spirit hood in addition to what looks like the top part of a prison jumpsuit. Jessie J is a wounded kitten who just escaped from jail! Her plan might have worked were we not smart enough to determine that she is not, in fact, a wounded widdle kitty cat, but professional over-singer Jessie J, who annoys us.

Hers is an expression that says, “look at me, I am so famous and goofy!” I’m pretty sure that French lady is not laughing with her. And is that snake print on the inside of her spirit hood’s scarf thingy? Because snakes and kittens so don’t mix.

Here is yet another French person who is visibly unimpressed by her shenanigans:

Maybe next time, leave the spirit hood wearing to Ke$ha, who is in on the joke of how ridiculous and annoying she is.

Related posts:

• 5 Facts About VMAs Performer (and Singer-Songwriter) Jessie J
• Hot Shot: Jared Leto Wears a Spirit Hood
• Video: Conan O’Brien Wears A Spirit Hood!
• Spirit Hoods Come to Crushable

Post from: Crushable

What do you do after some big meanie hacks your phone and puts mildly embarrassing n00dz of you all over the Internet? If you’re Scarlett Johansson, you fly to Paris with Macaulay Culkin‘s little brother, eat pizza, and go to a burlesque club. This is exactly what we would do, if we were her. Well played, ScarJo.

According to The Daily Mail, Scarlett and Kieran Culkin have been spotted canoodling around Paris in a suspiciously sexy way:

The pair were spotted enjoying a romantic stroll in Paris last week, stopping for an intimate dinner at Pizza Rino on the picturesque Champs-Elysées.

At one point, the 26-year-old affectionately wrapped her arm around her companion, 28.

During their time in the city, the pair are also said to have visited Crazy Horse Paris, a well-known burlesque club which features performances by naked women.

Performances by naked women? Isn’t he like, 12? Nothing like corrupting a child to make yourself feel whole again, eh? I know it says up there that he’s 26 but I so don’t buy it. You see, Kieran is the younger brother of a child star. We will always think of Macaulay Culkin as an adorable kid, even though he’s like 40 and has done it with Mila Kunis. Hence, his little brother must be even younger. That’s just math. Young+younger=Scarlett Johansson is a dirty child molester!

In actuality, though, they’re only two years apart and went to both middle and high school together, so it’s actually not gross at all.  Furthermore, Kieran’s a little cutie. Perhaps the next time her phone is hacked, we’ll get to see more of him.

Related posts:

• Scarlett Johansson Admits To Taking Nude Photos
• Crushable Presents: Cover Up Scarlett Johansson’s Nudity With Your Very Own Paper Doll
• Scarlett Johansson Needs A Drink(ing Game)
• Based On A Wallpaper Comparison, It Looks Like Scarlett Johansson’s Nude Photos Are Real

Post from: Crushable

Joe Jonas, of the abstinent-until-marriage Jonases, has just released a music video for his new single Just In Love (his second as a solo artist), and it is way impure. In it, he has a sinful Parisian love affair with French model Angele. They kiss, roll around in bed, take a bath together, and frolic all over the City of Love, with nary a chaperone in sight. Does he think all that beautiful 19th century stonework will hide his actions from the eyes of God? Because it hides nothing, Joe Jonas.

Is this the end of Jonas’ purity ring era? Because that would be all right. After all, he’s 22 now, and I think most reasonable people would agree that it’s okay for a 22-year-old to admit he has seen a vagina, especially when said 22-year-old looks like some kind of dreamy Brazilian soccer player. I mean, come on. And despite all the crazy Spiderman sex he’s implied to be having with his French paramour, I find the clip’s aesthetic to be much classier than anything we’ve seen from him in the past. He’s also gotten himself a nice haircut, and those eyebrows are finally under control. Everything looks different once you’ve become a man!

The song itself is more vintage N’Sync than Serge Gainsbourg, but whatever. So long as Joe Jonas keeps making sexy softcore lovemaking videos like this one, he can sing however he likes.

Related posts:

• Good Idea or Bad Idea? Joe Jonas’ Single Cover Drops
• Demi Lovato Fans Lash Out At Joe Jonas, Ashley Greene
• Joe Jonas Is Missing His Purity Ring
• Star Shrinking: How Demi Lovato Will Get Over Joe Jonas

Post from: Crushable

The show was set to go on yesterday (Why the long delay? We don’t know!) but the friggin’ snow stopped ole’ Poker Face’s trucks from towing through with the sound equipment and whatever pounds of makeup and clothes they need to put on her face and body.

Now Lady Gaga is “furious,” two of her employees have been arrested, and the pictures coming out of the city make the songstress look scarier than ever. Tonight’s show will hopefully go on as planned, otherwise we might have a Gagazilla on our hands.

Related posts:

• Which Emerson College Lady Gaga Lipdub Team Would You Be On?
• Gallery: World Unites To Unveil 7 Lady Gaga Wax Figures
• Parting Tweet: Lady Gaga Still Tweets From The Grave

Post from: Crushable

Post from: Crushable

Leave it to Paris Hilton to tweet this actually hilarious picture from her namesake city of Paris, France. Paris’ tweet pretty much sums it up: “Haha, in france they changed the title of the movie ‘Hangover’ to this.”

[via MTV.com]

Post from: Crushable

My heart pounded as I struggled to take in the situation. Why would they want to talk to Mme. de S with such urgency?  I’d lived with her for the past two months and couldn’t imagine her even approving of an improper action, let alone committing a crime herself.  As her name suggested, she was well-bred, living in a large, tastefully-furnished apartment near the Jardin de Luxembourg.  She was shocked that I ate soup for dinner — “It’s what the poor people eat!” — and maintained that she only rented out rooms to introduce foreigners like me to the richness of French culture.

When she’d told me she was leaving for a long weekend with her older son in the South of France, I’d been relieved.  It made me nervous to have her around, sneering at my outfits and commenting on my choice of cereal. But then, my roommate announced she was leaving that same weekend on a trip to Spain with a few of our friends from the study abroad program. She invited me to join her, but the trip was more than I could afford on my student budget, so I was left on my own for the weekend.

It was an exciting prospect, at first: living on my own. Although I’d moved out my parents’ house two years earlier, I attended college in my hometown and was never more than a short bike ride away from the family abode. Between my family, college friends, and “townie” friends, there were always other people around. So, the idea of playing loud music or even just walking to the landromat on my own was thrilling.

My imagination quickly got the best of me, however. The front door to the building was often unlocked, and it wouldn’t be hard to jimmy the apartment lock. It was an old apartment, the floorboards creaked. Maybe someone was already inside, hiding. Or something. Who knows how many people had died in the apartment in its two hundred years? Clearly, I’d watched one too many horror movies.  Whatever the reason, I’d spent the majority of the weekend expecting something absolutely horrific to happen.

So, as I read the note posted on my apartment door that afternoon, the adrenaline kicked in. I wasn’t taken entirely off-guard, because I’d been imagining this type of situation all weekend. After working up the courage to enter the apartment, I called Mme. de S, but was only able to leave a unintelligibly panicked message. Then, I tried my program director, but still no answer. Finally, I decided to go right to the source. On the bottom of the notice , I found the name and telephone number of a detective with the French police.  I took a deep breath, practiced a few key phrases, and called the number.

To my surprise, the detective was very open in answering my questions. Perhaps my clumsy French caught him off-guard. He explained that Mme. de S was only wanted for questioning.  Her younger son was a suspect in a case involving several missing motorbikes, and they believed he had been staying with her in the recent past, a claim that I could easily counter with the fact that I was staying in his room. (No, dear reader, I am sorry to report that I was not living with a French motor-thief.)

When Mme. de S returned, she refused to speak of the incident, and I respectfully didn’t mention it again. In the end, I think that this is what finally opened her up to me. She evaded the stories about her son’s criminal misadventures, but instead told me about his pranks as a child. From there, we bonded over our love of illustrated children’s books and good tea.  She even recommended a few interesting corners of the city to explore. And, explore I did, still imagining that terrible things were right around the corner, but feeling a little more confident in my ability to face them.

Post from: Crushable

Post from: Crushable

It looked like a beautiful fashion show!!

Post from: Crushable