It would be one thing if Paris’ tape really had been innocently leaked without her knowledge (a la Tyler Clementi, for example). But the fact that she profited financially from the tape and signed a contract to release it means that I do not feel sorry for her at all. And it’s not as if a sex tape is the only thing keeping Paris from being the American Princess Di. Diana was known for her charity work, and she fought tirelessly for her chosen campaigns. As for Paris, she announced after her release from prison that she was going to visit Rwanda for charity, but she’s never set foot in the country. And, as Barbara Walters pointed out, Paris was shown on her new reality show being physically dragged out of bed by an assistant the day that she was assigned to do a community service project. The only thing Paris has in common with Di is the hair, and even that’s a stretch.

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It has been a busy time here in the UK, as an increasing number of British and US talent cross the pond to gingerly dip their toes into foreign waters. It is always interesting to see how home-grown talent performs abroad and last week was no exception as Stateside Brits hogged the headlines with varying degrees of success. The big story was Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes. His caustic brand of humour saw him fire a plethora of insults as he singlehandedly managed to offend Hollywood’s glitterati. Taking pot-shots at Charlie Sheen, Angelina Jolie and Robert Downey Junior, Gervais crossed the boundary into dangerous territory with his cringe-worthy performance. You cannot insult Johnny Depp and Bruce Willis and get away with it. Gervais’ firebrand strategy to shock and awe led to his disappearance for an hour during the filming break. Oh what I’d give to be a fly on the wall of that room where Gervais undoubtedly received a dressing down from stunned Golden Globe bosses. The tainted silver lining to Gervais’ nasty cloud is that his comments ramped up a record-breaking number of hits for the show (I guess it’s all good in the name of show business).

As Gervais threw caution to the wind with blatant disregard for his celebrated audience, Piers Morgan appeared on the other end of the spectrum, showing that us Brits can be polite and incisive without degenerating into petulant vilification. After taking over Larry King, Morgan had big shoes to fill and he certainly didn’t disappoint. Morgan erred just on the right side of fawning respectability. His Oprah Winfrey segment was a fun ego massage to watch whilst his easy manner made his interviews come off like a seamless chat. (As did his post-Globes interview with Gervais.)

David Crane’s offering as the American abroad, was the icing on the cake. Best known for Friends, Joey and The Class, the powerhouse producer’s latest offering is Episodes, a light, satirical drama starring the superb Matt Le Blanc, Steven Mangan and Tamsin Greig. The tight script and slick production will undoubtedly prove to be the jewel in the crown for the BBC which commissioned this fantastic, watchable series.

David, welcome to these shores of British television and I hope that the next series is in the offing (sooner rather than later please)..!

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Vienna accused Jake of famewhore-dom, then “burst into tears and stormed out” during a heated verbal confrontation … filmed by ABC, of course. Also Vienna? Calling Jake a famewhore? File under pot and kettle! (People)

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When will Paris and Doug marry?

Paris Hilton married America’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan in a 15-minute ceremony at the Little Church of the West in Las Vegas.

But the whole ceremony was a publicity stunt for Morgan’s latest upcoming TV special, Piers Morgan On…Las Vegas.

The couple exchanged vows, dressed for the part–complete with an Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe impersonator. Morgan proposed to journalist Celia Walden in Paris, France earlier this month so the ceremony served as good practice for the big date.

Paris was good-natured about the event and knows exactly how insane Vegas can be. “You can do anything here – it’s crazy! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

Morgan agreed, “You know what it’s like – you have a few drinks, spend too long on the blackjack table, get overexcited and do something silly. I have to say, Paris scrubbed up to be a beautiful bride. It was magical.”

I don’t think Paris would ever get married in Vegas but I could be wrong. People do crazy things when they’re in love! She has been quoted before as saying, “I’d imagine my wedding as a fairy tale…huge, beautiful and white.” I’m sure it will be a show stopper.

Piers Morgan On…Las Vegas will air Saturday, January 2 on ITV1. You can check out a video of the event here.

Image: Bauer-Griffin

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