Crushable » politics

The Daily WTF: Congressman John Fleming Doesn’t Understand How The Onion Works

Natalie Zutter — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:50:27 +0000

Do you know about Literally Unbelievable? It’s a blog that collects people’s blatant misinterpretations about The Onion over Facebook. That’s right: Enough people mistake Onion articles and news reports for the truth that there is a corner of the internet devoted to their stupidity. Usually it’s average folks who put their feet in their respective mouths over social media, but every once in a while someone high-profile doesn’t read closely enough.

Today, Congressman John Fleming linked to an Onion article titled “Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex” on his Facebook page. He may have 25,000 likes, but it took 8 derisive comments before his people yanked the status update. (That’s right, it’s now immortalized on blogs like Literally Unbelievable and anywhere else that managed to get a screenshot.) And Representative Fleming hasn’t addressed his gaffe, which only makes it worse.

Perhaps the party most amused by this is The Onion itself: Editor Joe Randazzo released a statement saying, “We’re delighted to hear that Rep. Fleming is a regular reader of America’s Finest News Source and doesn’t bother himself with The New York Times, Washington Post, the mediums of television and radio, or any other lesser journalism outlets.”

Congressman, I know you’re trying to appeal to a generation who got through high school by sourcing term papers via Wikipedia… but come on.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Video: M.I.A.’s New Music Video Celebrates ‘Bad Girls,’ Moroccan Style

Jamie Peck — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:06:40 +0000

Fresh off her bird-flipping performance at the Superbowl, English/Sri Lankan rapper M.I.A. is experiencing unprecedented levels of attention from angry parents and disobedient school girls alike. How fortuitous, then, that she just happens to have dropped a new music video a few days ago. “Bad Girls” was shot in the Moroccan desert with Roman Gavras (the same guy who directed her controversial “Born Free” video), and it’s every bit as bad ass as I hoped it would be.

Like much of M.I.A.’s output, the video is a collection of vaguely political signifiers mashed up with hiphop swagger to make something seductive and stirring, if not entirely coherent. Then again, is it really an artist’s job to provide us with a thesis statement? In the clip, a collection of gun-toting women in colorful hijabs back up M.I.A. as she rap-battles a bunch of men in head scarfs, before climbing into cars for an epic drag race. Considering the recent controversy over Saudia Arabia’s ban on female drivers, it reads as equal parts political commentary and action film iconography.

The song’s refrain of “live fast, die young, bad girls do it well” might be equally at home in a song by American cliche-lover Lana Del Rey, but setting the video in Morocco makes us re-think what it means to be a bad girl in various parts of the world and how various types of “bad girls” might die young. It also plays around with stereotypes the West holds of the Muslim world. And it manages to do all of this in a humorous, visually sumptuous way. Madonna was right to feel threatened by M.I.A.; this video has more character in its first ten seconds than “Give Me All Your Luvin” has in its entire stiff three-plus minutes.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

The Dictator Launches Republic Of Wadiya Website

Natalie Zutter — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:38:35 +0000

Part of what’s making Sacha Baron Cohen‘s new persona/movie The Dictator do so well is that we’re all in on the joke. With Borat and Bruno, the performer went around in-costume and embarrassed people, filming the pranks for the subsequent movies. But with The Dictator coming to theaters on May 11, the studio has been putting out in-character announcements and jokes that include audiences instead of alienating them.

First there was Supreme Leader Shabazz Aladeen‘s public statement about the death of Kim Jong-Il; now, the Republic of Wadiya has its own official website. You can read along in either Wadiyan or English, and learn about the weather forecast — like 30 Rock‘s mockery of North Korea, it’s “sunny all the time” — as well as the history of this grand, oppressed fictional country.

Of course, the best part is Aladeen’s biography, which charts his humble rise to power after his six siblings were killed in horrible Hot Wheels-related accidents, as well as his generosity to his country. Some selections:

His mother was an Air France stewardess who tragically died of an oxygen underdose shortly after Aladeen’s birth in 1982 – this fact means he is now 30 years old. Any photos you may have seen of Aladeen as a child in the mid-70s, including a great one of him at the premiere of Saturday Night Fever, were doctored by the corrupt Zionist Western media.

Tragically, Aladeen’s remaining three brothers perished in a typical suicide pact by simultaneously shooting themselves in the back multiple times with automatic rifles.

Part of his research managed to confirm that there’s not enough oxygen for a political opponent to survive at altitudes higher than 45,000 feet. In the same experiment, he confirmed that there is enough gravity at 45,000 feet for a political opponent’s body to return to Earth when thrown from an aircraft.

Aladeen also hosts, judges and competes in Wadiya’s Next Top Model which he has won for a record 14 years running.

The site is worth poking around, including Aladeen’s recommendations for other websites, like the “high end hookers” at Victoria’s Secret and the “funny” Western joke site the UN Commission on Human Rights. Plus, it turns out Aladeen is a big fan of sporting events, as evidenced by this new TV spot about the Super Bowl:

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Roseanne Barr Is Running For President!

Jamie Peck — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:25:21 +0000

Bullshit artists, watch your back! Blue collar feminist/TV star/macadamia nut farmer Roseanne Barr has filed documents declaring her desire to be the Green Party’s 2012 candidate for President of the United States of America.

No, really. “I am pleased to announce that I am seeking the Green Party’s nomination for President of these United States of America,” Barr said in a statement. “The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants—bought and paid for by the 1%—who are not doing what’s in the best interest of the American people. As a long time supporter of the Green Party, I look forward to working with people who share my values. Behold the greening of America!”

Following her announcement, Barr took to twitter to clarify her motivations for running, namely, to bring attention to the issues she believes matter the most: jobs, healthcare, and listening to the voices of all Americans, not just the ones with money and power:

I’m not sure the Green Party represents the middle way between Democrats and Republicans, so much as “what the Democratic party would be if it had any balls/was not already bought off by corporate money,” but I still support most of her sentiments. It’s a shame Barr has little chance of winning, but if she can bring these important issues to the attention of the actual winner, her run will have been worthwhile.

(Via E!)

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

‘Family Values’ Group Picked The Wrong Target In Ellen Degeneres

Jamie Peck — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:52:12 +0000

Yesterday, news came out that “family values” (i.e. anti-gay bigotry) group OneMillionMoms.com has started a petition against clothing retailer JC Penney for hiring Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson. Do they really think this is a fight they can win?

“Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families,” writes OMM in a statement. “More sales will be lost than gained unless they replace their spokesperson quickly. Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war then their brand transformation will be unsuccessful.”

First, would it kill them to hire a copywriter? Someone who understands adverbs? That paragraph is hurting my eyes. Second, it would hardly make them “neutral” in the culture war to fire Ellen Degeneres for being gay. That would be taking quite the position, no? The position that lesbians are gross, depraved, and totally unfit to promote boxy casualwear, when everyone knows they look great in it. It’s also ridiculous to think straight people won’t buy JC Penney’s clothing unless their spokesperson is straight, too. Ellen’s marriage only erodes “family values” if you think that for every gay marriage that occurs, a straight marriage immediately crumbles.

But the biggest reason this campaign is stupid (on a practical level at least), is that it is Ellen. People love Ellen. I mean, look at her. She’s fucking adorable! Ellen and Portia de Rossi are probably the most famous lesbian couple in America, and also the most accepted by the mainstream. They are the nice, normal, white, cisgender, cuddly same-sex couple that dimwits can look at and begin to realize that gay people are people, too, just like them. Ellen gives college scholarships to homeless girls, helps cute animals find homes, and even dances with the president (although OMM probably doesn’t like him, either). She has the most general of general interest shows on TV. She is basically the white lesbian version of Oprah, in that even my racist old family members love Oprah. Everyone but the most horrid of anti-gay bigots smiles when they see Ellen’s shining face on television, and that’s why OneMillionMoms.com picked a strategically disadvantageous target for their hatred. Not that there’s ever a “good” target for shit like this.

Then again, I don’t think anyone at OMM thinks they’re going to win this fight. They’re just using this as an excuse to spew yet more gross rhetoric about people who are different from them. I doubt Ellen is letting it get to her; I’m more worried about any gay kids the people at OMM might have.

(Via RadarOnline)

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Christopher Nolan’s Batman Movies Predict President Obama’s Political Career

Natalie Zutter — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:36:40 +0000

I’ll say it again: It’s utterly fascinating that our lives are so saturated with the internet that it makes sense to fold our President into memes and message board postings. That’s why it was so hilarious when someone posting anonymously on 4chan made the connection that Christopher Nolan‘s second and third Batman films happen to land on election years. By that reasoning, 2008′s The Dark Knight represents Barack Obama‘s win four years ago, and 2012′s The Dark Knight Rises… well, you get it.

Then there’s the fact that, according to one Redditor (via The Daily What), Obama was sworn in as a senator in 2005, when Batman Begins came out. Can we just predict every political race through movies? (You can bet that there’s a candidate out there whose career was determined by Nolan’s other films Memento, The Prestige, and Inception.) Because that would probably inspire more kids to vote.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Video: Incredibly Offensive Anti-Obama Ad Depicts Him As Captain Of A Slave Ship

Jamie Peck — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:25:41 +0000

Florida Congressional candidate Mark Oxner has produced an anti-Obama campaign ad that will probably go down in history as one of the stupidest and most offensive of all time. It depicts the President as captain of a slave ship powered by children. That’s right, a slave ship. As in, the kind of ship that brought a bunch of Africans to America against their will, at devastating cost to human rights and the future of our national conscience. As in, maybe not the best way for a white guy to go after a black guy.

Beyond the offensive metaphor, the ad doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. “I got free healthcare for life,” crows one gleeful woman, as if a.) Obama has actually provided this, and b.) not having to die because you’re too poor to afford insurance is a bad, undesirable thing. “My bank was bailed out by this ship,” said another guy, as if Republicans hate banks and do not want to help them at all. Right after that, there’s a shot of a scary OWS protestor in a Guy Fawkes mask. “Don’t you care about the banks? Don’t you care about the 99%?” Obama’s parrot Alan Grayson (the guy Oxner’s running against) says. Does Mark Oxner realize these two concepts are diametrically opposed?

But going back to the slave ship metaphor…what in the fucking fuck. I would like to know which genius campaign managers sat around at a meeting bouncing ideas off each other until they decided a slave ship was the very best metaphor they could think of. What lost out to the slave ship? Obama as the owner of a cotton plantation? It seems to me like they are subtly daring opponents to call the ad out as racist, or at the least horribly insensitive, at which point they will accuse progressives of reverse racism for daring to say something about it. Or maybe they’re just really, really dumb. Who knows?

For added fun, check out the Oxner campaign getting super defensive in the comments on Youtube.

(Via Youtube)

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Penn Badgley Wore An Occupy Wall Street Shirt To Meet NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Natalie Zutter — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:16:11 +0000

Yesterday, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg joined the cast of Gossip Girl on set to celebrate the series’ 100th episode “G.G.,” airing next Monday. Everyone got all dressed up while Bloomberg held up a proclamation declaring it “Gossip Girl Day” (aww, but what?) and a commemorative T-shirt.

I was ready for that to be the story, but there’s another T-shirt worth noting. BuzzFeed commenter Ashley Baccarn pointed out that Penn Badgley is wearing a “We Are the 99%” tee while he lounges next to the man who gave the order to break up the Occupiers in Zuccotti Park back in November 2011. Penn was one of the first celebrities to make an appearance, even holding up a sign that read Bring back the Glass-Steagall act! No to corporate greed! Awkward.

Also, where were Chace Crawford and Leighton Meester?

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

The Daily WTF: Fast Food Companies Could Be Using Aborted Fetuses In Their Food

Natalie Zutter — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:21:18 +0000

I haven’t felt this nauseous since I read that urban legend about a pus-filled chicken sandwich. The newest allegation against PepsiCo is that they’re partnering with a company called Senomyx, which has been up to some shady business. Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey has gone so far as to draw up a bill banning the manufacture of all fast food that uses aborted fetuses.

As Liz Lemon would say, “What the what?”

According to Shortey’s bill, Senomyx “has been accused of using proteins derived from human embryonic kidney cells in its research.” These cells have been used in researching and developing products, including in the realm of artificial flavoring. What the heck do kidney cells have to do with making something taste extra beefy?

Of course, Shortey doesn’t have any actual proof that this is going on. His bill is intended to be more of a failsafe against the Soylent Green kind of future, should fast food companies ever feel the need to turn us into cannibals. Whether it’s true or not, it’s bizarre enough to make us say WTF.

Good news: Gawker has done some digging, and so far McDonald’s, PepsiCo, and Nestle are all clear. (Then again, if you had asked the food companies in Soylent Green if they were dealing in human cells, they probably would have denied it, too.) No word yet from companies like Kraft and Burger King.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Video: President Obama Sings A Snippet Of Al Green, Isn’t Half Bad

Jamie Peck — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:20:47 +0000

While speaking at a fundraiser at Harlem’s Apollo Theater last night, President Obama couldn’t help but break into a bit of spontaneous song when mentioning that the Reverend Al Green was in attendance. And the crowd went wild.

The song he sang was “Let’s Stay Together” and although he only sang the first phrase, it was enough to drive the audience crazy. And with good reason…he was great! “The Sandman did not come out,” he remarked, referring to “Sandman Sims,” the tapdancer who used to escort failed acts off the stage there. This little performance made me wonder what other sexy talents the President is hiding, and also what he’d sound like singing a whole song. Maybe after he’s done being president, he can have a second career as a smooth jams recording artist.

Come to think of it, “Let’s Stay Together” wouldn’t be a terrible theme song for his re-election campaign, either. It has a nicer ring to it than “Let’s Keep Terrifying People Out Of The White House,” anyway.

(Via Contact Music)

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable