It’s a fact: Jessica Simpson is in talks with American Idol about joining the judges’ panel next season. She’s not going to replace Simon Cowell; she would, however, make a great replacement for Ellen DeGeneres, who is dead weight on a show being singlehandedly held together by the prodigious talents of Ryan Seacrest.

Here is why Jessica should replace Ellen:

1. Unofficial studies have shown that Idol fans really, really miss Paula Abdul. Paula, with her seal claps and glazed, medicated eyes, was unintentionally hilarious in a way that Ellen is not. Ellen is awkward and contrived, while Paula is slurry and off-the-cuff (perfect for reality TV). Jessica too, has that filter-less quality, not to mention the recording artist cred. It would be a perfect fit.

2. Jessica needs Idol more than Ellen does. While Ellen has a successful and critically-acclaimed talk show, Jessica could use a career boost to match her Newlyweds popularity.

3. Showmances are all the rage. See: Dancing With the Stars. Or: Glee. Jessica could find love – with a contestant, or with a fellow judge (see: Chris Isaak).

4. Jessica could broker a lucrative deal wherein contestants are forced to wear her namesake designer shoes, which are actually pretty cute. This would make dad-ager Joe Simpson very, very rich.

5. When John Mayer signs on as a celebrity “mentor,” he will undoubtedly come face to face with Jessica, the woman he once deemed “sexual napalm.” This historic meeting will send the entertainment blogosphere into a tizzy, thereby rebranding Jessica as a Woman Scorned Who Got The Last Laugh.

And anybody who does get a coveted judges’ spot does indeed get the last laugh. Because it’s the best gig in showbiz! Also, Ellen is boring. Nice, but boring.

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5 Reasons Why Jessica Simpson Should Replace Ellen On 'American Idol'

Crushable has learned that American Idol is wooing Jessica Simpson to be a judge on the show.

We hear there’s interest on Jessica’s end, but talks are in the early stages.

A rep for Jessica declined comment, and an American Idol spokesperson could not immediately be reached.

Now that Simon Cowell’s on The X Factor, and Chris Isaak may fill his spot, who would Jessica replace? Ellen?

UPDATE: Fox has no comment. Where there’s smoke there’s…

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Will Jessica Simpson Be The Next 'American Idol' Judge?

Bret Michaels can say goodbye to replacing Simon Cowell on American Idol. While chatter has been building that the beloved guylinered rocker – who has demonstrated the right way to launch a career comeback – would sub in for Simon, it now appears Idol producers would rather go with Chris Isaak.

Writes The Hollywood Reporter (via Gawker):

Rocker Bret Michaels was given the once-over and even lobbied for the job last week in an HLN interview (“I would love to do it, I would really bring it to the table,” Michaels told Joy Behar). Sources say, however, that Michaels is out of the running.

Even Donald Trump has quietly lobbied to replace Cowell despite his longtime association with NBC as producer and judge of “The Apprentice” franchise.

Armed with a list of prospects, Fox is trying to figure out how all the pieces will fit together for both “Idol” and “X Factor” — a delicate process given the personalities involved.

Guess The Tinz was right. Bret might NOT be such a good fit for Simon’s chair; but perhaps the acid-tongued judging legend seeks to lure Bret over to The X Factor, which would really piss off Idol creator Simon Fuller.

Wouldn’t THAT be interesting? (A rep for Idol did not immediately respond to Crushable’s requests for comment.) Meanwhile, Crushable continues to process THR’s Chris Isaak scoop. Is the pompadoured singer mean enough? Witty enough? Or is this all just a wicked, wicked game?!?

UPDATE!!!!!! Fox has no comment. A message sent to Donald Trump’s office was not immediately returned Wednesday afternoon. A Crushable conspiracy theory that MIGHT have weight: Chris’s manager Howard Kaufman represents Chris AND Bret. Which could only mean that Howard – also unavailable for comment – is  brokering a deal to get Bret on The X Factor with Simon, and in turn, land Chris a spot on Idol’s 10th season.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!!!!!

UPDATE: We hear that Idol called Donald to fill Simon’s spot but he could not because of a conflict of interest with his NBC Apprentice franchise. Also, to clarify on our above conspiracy theory: We posit that, since Chris and Bret have the same management, that a double-deal is being wheeled to get Bret on X Factor and less popular-but-still-kinda-famous Chris on Idol; strategically, it’s better for Bret to be on a hot new show with Simon attached than a sinking ship (cough, Idol, cough). Once again, we have no evidence of this. Just throwing it out there because it seems SO plausible. How else would Chris be taking meetings with Idol brass?

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Bret Michaels Is So Screwed

Lindsay will appear in some episodes but Michael Lohan is not welcome, says matriarch Dina, who’s shopping another reality show with her kids . (Page Six)

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Crush Links: Lohans Returning To Reality TV

Celebrities: “Cheryl Cole (most women and men are obsessed with her), Simon Cowell (massively popular, and seems to be gaining more popularity all the time), James Corden has become really popular since co-writing and starring in ‘Gavin and Stacey’. He is currently presenting a TV show almost every night after the world cup games. He is very funny and proven himself to be a good presenter also.”

TV shows: Gavin and Stacey remains a very popular TV show, although they have already shown the last series. Soap Operas such as Coronation Street, Eastenders, Emerdale and Hollyoaks are all very popular with people young and old. X-Factor is still probably the most anticipated show of the year. Dancing On Ice is watched by millions as is Strictly Come Dancing. They are both competitions involving Celebrities. Big brother is still fairly popular but is now in its final year.

Movies: Avatar!! I’m not hot on movies I’m afraid.

Music: Pixie Lott, Lady Gaga, Black eyed Peas, Kings of Leon, Dizzee Rascal!

Fashion: Anything goes really! Skinny Jeans are still very much the thing. Florals are in right now. Gladiator style sandals and gladiator style heels are the thing to wear on your feet if you’re a girl. False eye lashes are very popular. MAXI DRESSES in a big way!!!! Boyfriend style cardies, jumpers and trousers are still worn by almost everyone who has a bit of style. Leggings and Jeggings too!!!”

Thanks Bryan’s sister! We heart you. In case you — like us! — had no clue as to the existence of Cheryl Cole (aka the Most Famous Woman in England) here is a link to her IMDB page. She is like a modern-day Audrey Hepburn, and is reportedly dating Derek Hough from Dancing With the Stars.

Give her time. Soon she pull a Simon Cowell, land the biggest TV show on Earth and become a household name/international superstah.

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Crushable's Guide To Pop Culture In Other Countries: ENGLAND

Paula Abdul

Crushable has also learned that not only will Green Day be performing but also Glee’s Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison.

Will Matthew team up with Neil Patrick Harris for another rendition of Dream On? Will Lea do a duet with boyfriend Theo Stockman or BFF Jonathan Groff? Stay tuned…

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Paula Abdul To Resurface At The Tony Awards

As a loyal viewer of the Fox competition since day one, I stand by that statement. Lee has some talent but no stage presence, no real of selling out stadiums like Carrie Underwood or even doing Broadway like Taylor Hicks. Tellingly, he’s the third unassuming guitar guy in a row to win the Idol title after Kris Allen and David Cook. This is because being an average brown-haired dude with a good voice and Everyman appeal offers an edge over other more interesting contestants who are more wild cards than safe bets; everyone agreed that Adam Lambert was a better performer than Kris Allen, but Kris Allen had mainstream voters locked down (even though slinky, sparkly Adam Lambert had viewers on the edge of their seats to see just what he’d do next).

Since American Idol is more of a popularity contest than a singing competition, of course Lee DeWyze emerged victorious: He’s someone viewers want to grab a beer with, someone they might have known in high school or in the house next door to where they grew up. His gender helped him, too. Idol voters are largely female, and there’s no doubt that millions wanted to get with Lee. (Rule of Reality TV: Cute bland boys become cuter each week as they become more familiar to viewers).

Crystal Bowersox, who lost out to Lee on Wednesday’s bittersweet finale, is an Adam Lambert. She’s also a Clay Aiken, a Chris Daughtry and a Jennifer Hudson. As an student of Idol history can attest, runners-up and als0-rans stand to surpass the commercial and critical success of the show’s big winners if they make all the right moves. While several of the show’s past champs– David, Kris, Taylor, Ruben Studdard and Fantasia Barrino – have seen their careers plateau, if not plummet, a handful of nonwinners like Chris and Jennifer have gone on to dominate the charts, win Oscars and establish credibility on both the radio and in the music industry. And that’s all they can ask for — that’s the endgame of American Idol.

Unless you’re Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood, sometimes it’s better NOT to win American Idol. If you’re Lee DeWyze — otherwise known as Lee DeWHYze — the pressure is on. Lee has one bag of tricks (the boring singer-songwriter Nickelback thing), and without the TV show to fall back on, he’ll lose momentum as fans lose interest in his celebrity as well as his music.

Crystal, however, is the real deal: She is an artist with a lot of soul and an appealing earthy sensibility, not unlike Bonnie Raitt. She will have a long-lasting music career because there is a need for someone like her who’s a bit more adult contemporary than Top 40: She’s got more life experience than Taylor Swift and less slick pop-production than Lady Gaga. She lacks Adam’s gift for controversy, but stirring up drama is not her thing: All she needs is a hit song shows off her warm, bluesy voice, a “Something To Talk About” or “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” She’s better off than Lee because, frankly, she’s better than him. She just is.

Back to Lee: How will he make fans continue to love him? What can he do, if anything, to milk his big win and deliver on his promise?

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Between The Lines: Why Crystal Bowersox is Better Off Than Lee DeWyze

Lee DeWyze

Lee’s win Wednesday night confirmed DialIdol.com’s earlier prediction that he’d pull an upset over Crystal — our favorite — based on the site’s measurement of busy signals from viewers who voted for the final two. (DialIdol also accurately predicted Kris Allen’s victory last season and David Cook’s in 2008).

But the big finale, a culmination of a lackluster season filled with boring hopefuls and no Paula Abdul, felt more like a funeral than a celebration. It was Simon Cowell’s last night as a judge (he’s leaving for The X Factor) and a bittersweet flavor lingered throughout the two-hour extravaganza. Paula reappeared to pay tribute to her onetime sparring partner. An all-star group of Idol alums including Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson — and Justin Guarini! — performed together in honor of Simon, who joined them onstage to address his untimely exit.

“I didn’t think I was gonna be this emotional, but I really am,” he said, saying the viewers are the real “judge” of the long-lasting Fox competition.

And as it happens, those viewers chose Lee over Crystal! What are your thoughts on this?? Do you demand a recount? And do you agree with us that Kelly Clarkson should replace Simon as a judge? (She’s tough, brassy and bold — it could work, trust us).

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'American Idol' Finale Is Bittersweet: Lee DeWyze Wins, Simon Cowell Says Goodbye

Paula Abdul

The Idol-performance survey has spoken, and the verdict is in: This season sucks, Crystal Bowersox should be matched with Adam Lambert instead of Lee DeWHYze, and Ryan Seacrest can’t do it all himself, OK? He need Paula to step in and rescue the show from the brink of disaster.

Paula, we missed you. Welcome back!

What are your thoughts?? Will Paula kick Ellen DeGeneres off the panel? Will Simon and Paula make out? Ewwwwwww.

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Paula Abdul Returning To 'American Idol' -- Seal Claps All Around!

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