This reminds us of the Sparks scare of the mid-aughts, when we all learned that drinking high volumes of alcohol and artificial stimulants lead to a lot of sleepless nights, bad decision-making, and sometimes overnight hospital stays when you needed to get your stomach pumped. And yet somehow, red bull and vodka is still available at most bars, despite being described by one friend as making him feel like he drenched his brain in battery acid.

According to a source (an anonymous b5 intern), Four Loko is stronger than Sparks, tastes kinda whatever, and “is not a big deal.” It comes in lemonade and berry-flavor, probably? (Oh, interns.) But it definitely fills the niche that was left when Sparks was pulled from the market and then brought back in neutered form.

So the question you have to ask yourself when purchasing Four Loko isn’t “Do I want the world’s worst hangover tomorrow morning?”, it’s “Do I really trust any drug that can fuck me up for $2.50 a can?” You’re probably better off huffing Dust-Off.

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For now, American Idol winner, Jordin Sparks is having to take the back seat on the charts to runner-up, Blake Lewis.

Blake’s single “You Give Love a Bad Name” broke into the top 10 at #9 and Jordin’s “This is My Now” is hovering at #14.

It’ll be interesting to see where they are after summer.

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NBC will celebrate America’s 231st birthday with a live broadcast of the “Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular.” Of the performers, country music star (and American Idol guest) Martina McBride will open the event and Jordin Sparks, Blake Lewis and Melinda Doolittle will perform a song together to tribute the Nation’s birthday.

The event is America’s largest 4th of July fireworks extravaganza and will feature 35,000 shells which will be set off over New York City.

Cool. Wish I could be there but I’ll just have to watch it on television!

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After being crowned the American Idol winner, Jordin Sparks sat down with People magazine for a cute little interview. Jordin fans will love it!

Have you gotten your driver’s license? And are you a good driver?
Yeah, I have my driver’s license. I actually got it July of last year, so it was about before I went and auditioned. So, I’m ok, I haven’t gotten any tickets or anything yet. I’m all right.

How did you do on your driver’s test?
Well, my driver’s test I think I did pretty well. The permit test, I kind of had a problem with, but then I went and studied and I passed – so it was good.

How do you think will handle the pressures in Hollywood to be super thin?
Oh, that super thin stuff? Hollywood needs to get over it, but I don’t know. I’ve got a really good family around me and I love the people that I’ve got around me and I’m pretty sure they’ll keep me grounded – I know they will because they’re always like, “Don’t let it go to your head, Jordin.” And I’m like, “Okay.” And I know that my mom, and my dad and my grandparents – as long as I got them with me I’ll be okay.

How did you emotionally handle the shows various pressure throughout the season?
It’s cool because since I am a minor I have a guardian with me and so I had my mom or my nana, because they would switch off. I would have them with me throughout the season, so it was cool to have them to lean on.

Who is your celebrity crush?
I’m going to have to say Brad Pitt. Why?
I don’t know – he’s just really cute. I don’t know him so I don’t know anything else except he’s just really good-looking.

What was your greatest moment before winning Idoll?
Oh my gosh, you’re going to laugh at me but getting my braces off. I’m just a normal quirky 17-year-old girl and getting my braces off was awesome. I did get my license and that was cool. And then just making it through the first round of auditions I was just – it amazed me because I didn’t think that I had a chance because so many people auditioned.

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Now that it’s all said and done, who performed best tonight?

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So many of you have written in to ask if I saw Melinda Doolittle’s face during Jordin Sparks’ performance. I did but I did not have a screenshot of it. TallFreak has graciously provided me with one. It is priceless. Melinda’s probably just concentrating on what Jordin’s doing but I cracked up last night. In this shot, even Chris Richardson looks a little taken-aback but he is a Blake Lewis fan, so it’s understandable.

Thanks, Tall Freak!

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“‘This Is My Now’ was written by Seattle songwriters Scott Krippayne and Jeff Peabody. In a press release about the single, Jeff Peabody is described as an advertising consultant, graphic designer and full time pastor, so he could probably lay claim to the amateur songwriter category… However, a quick Google search reveals Scott Krippayne’s official web site, where his bio describes him as “a respected, accomplished singer/songwriter. Another online bio at Kensei News says that Scott Krippayne’s CDs have spawned nine number one songs and over 150 of his songs have been recorded by other artists, including some fairly well known names like Point of Grace & John Tesh. We guess it all depends on where you draw the line in describing someone as undiscovered, and American Idol appears to have a pretty lenient definition of undiscovered.”

Kinda a coincidence that Jordin Sparks has worked in the Christian music industry and the American Idol Finale Song was written by Christian music writers. Even the huge Christian music artist, Michael W. Smith, with whom she has performed, endorsed her on his website: http://www.michaelwsmith.com/

It could be a coincidence but I am pretty disappointed by the process this season. What would people say if the winning song had been written by Sir-Mix-A-Lot?

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I was happy to read this interview with American Idol judge Simon Cowell because it pretty much sums up how I have been feeling. I have no idea who will win this and neither does he! He told People magazine that he thinks “they both have different strengths. One’s a better entertainer and one’s a better singer, so I think it will be down to what they do on the night.”

On Finale Predictions
“I think they will both chose their favorite song from what they’ve done over the past 11 weeks – and I’m hoping Blake will do the Bon Jovi song because I thought it was his best performance. And I don’t know what Jordin will do.”

On Fighting with Ryan
“It’s rather like having a silly little dog who wants to jump up on your lap and you just swat the dog off. Occasionally in a very stern voice you have to say ‘no.’ And that’s how I deal with Ryan.”

On Melinda’s Next Stop
“I don’t think she should try and compete with too many of the R&B artists out there at the moment. I think she’s more of a throwback to people like Gladys Knight and Tina Turner. And I think she should play to her strengths.”

On Contestants Talking Back
“I encourage it. I don’t think they do it enough because I think they all think they’re going to be voted off if they’re rude to me. I think it’s the opposite. I think the more rude they are to me, the more votes they’ll get. I think off camera they’re going completely nuts complaining about me. Then on camera they’re just smiling and I don’t understand that. I think it should be two-way. If I’m rude to them, they’re more than entitled to be rude to me back.”

On Sanjaya Fever
“I would never want to be in a situation where we cast the 12 as just normal people because I think it would be boring. The panel is wacky enough and therefore I think the contestants should be a bit strange as well. And I thought the whole Sanjaya thing was hysterical. I’m happy now because he’s out. I don’t think I’d be happy if he was in the finals, so I can now be quite smug about it.”

On Kelly Clarkson’s New Record
Kelly Clarkson is not an artist who’s in it for the money. She has a lot of integrity and this is a record she wanted to make. And I admire her for that. … It’s not as commercial as her last record, but any Kelly Clarkson record at the moment is a pretty good record compared to the competition because she’s an incredible artist.

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The Chicago Sun-Times have uncovered a picture of Jordin at an anti-abortion rally and have begun to wonder if Jordin is raking in the Christian right vote because this photo has been circulating on the internet. Here’s the Sun-Times article (I did not write it, so if you have a complaint direct it at that newspaper – the link is at the end of the article):

Where are the viewer votes for “American Idol” front-runner Jordin Sparks coming from? Possibly the Christian right.

A photo that seems to show her holding a “Stop Abortion Now” sign is making the rounds of “Idol” fan postings online.

Most viewers are unaware, though. In “Idol” fashion, no one on air ever asks Jordin about politics, since “Idol” builds up these future musical properties with cotton candy profiles.

Anti-abortion-rights people are definitely trying to politicize “Idol.” A few weeks ago, “Idol” raised $70 million for poverty charities in America and Africa.

At least one overzealous outfit attacked the show in a press release, screaming in a headline, “AMERICAN IDOL NOW FUNDING PRO-ABORTION GROUPS.”

You see, two charities that benefitted were UNICEF and Save the Children, organizations that feed the most starving-to-death families around the world.

But UNICEF and Save the Children also do family planning. If potential mothers die of hunger, their someday-unborn babies won’t even become pre-unborn. True believers don’t want to hear that.

So now, the trio of finalists is Jordin, Blake Lewis and Melinda Doolittle. Horrible Blake will probably get ejected next week. Paula Abdul loves Blake. My friend Ashley says that’s because Paula is sexist and stands up to dance during male performances.

This week, Paula called Blake a “contemporary rebel” for the way he beatboxed to Bee Gees songs in falsetto. That would have made him a rebel in 1983, maybe. Also a dork.

But based on the old ages of songs contestants must sing, the aggregate year “Idol” actually takes place in is 1982, so of course Paula thinks Blake is ahead of the back-to-the-future curve.

The judges truly need to catch up. A few months ago, Blake sang “All Mixed Up,” a huge 1995 MTV hit that helped sell 3 million albums for the band 311. Paula, Randy and Simon beamed at how modern it sounded, since they’d never heard it.

In other words, Paula, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell are so out of touch with modern rock from 2007 and Top 10 rock from 1995 that they think Blake’s subpar beatboxing is hip to be square.

Fortunately, voters probably won’t stick with Blake. Melinda and Jordin look destined for a faceoff. Melinda should win, as the only contestant who interprets fresh arrangements of old songs and sings them strong in perfect pitch.

Christian rightists ought to be pleased with Melinda. In her official “Idol” bio, she says if she wins the first thing she’ll do is thank “Jesus and my mommy.”

But Melinda peaked too early. Simon has stopped cooing over her (he sways viewer-voters). And Melinda is shorter in the beauty contest with Jordin, who’s tall, 17 and powered up with momentum from judges and conservative religious observers.

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