Crushable » texas

The Daily WTF: Man Arrested For Biting Woman Claims To Be 500-Year-Old Vampire

Jamie Peck — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:51:42 +0000

A 19-year-old manchild named Lyle Monroe Bensley was arrested in Galveston, Texas over the weekend after breaking into a woman’s house in only his underwear and trying to bite her. According to the police report, “Bensley made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting the woman in her bed.” Holy shit. Luckily, the woman managed to run into the parking lot outside her apartment building and jump into a car being driven by a neighbor, who then drove her to safety. Did she wonder for a moment if vampires might actually be real? No, because vampires are not fucking real.

Via The Houston Chronicle:

“He was begging us to restrain him because he didn’t want to kill us,” Galveston Officer Daniel Erickson said. “He said he needed to feed.”

How the cop managed to deliver this sentence with a straight face is beyond me. The things you see in Texas! The article continues:

Police received a call at 6:50 a.m. Erickson said he and another officer were in the woman’s apartment when they heard shrieking and growling sounds and saw Bensley in the parking lot. They arrested him after a short chase.

“I’m a vampire, and I’ve been alive for over 500 years,” Bensley said, according to Erickson.

Emergency medical personnel determined that Bensley did not appear to be under the influence of drugs, Erickson said.

A mental health hold was placed on Bensley and his bond was set at $40,000.

Does True Blood count as a drug? I think maybe it should, after this little episode. Also, he might consider working on his fashion sense if he ever wants a shot at being taken seriously as a vampire. I’m not sure if “nu metal douchenozzle” is currently a part of the vampire lookbook.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Video: Chace Crawford Goes In Front Of Texas Court

Drew Grant — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:43:47 +0000

He may have had one of the hottest mugshots ever, but Chace Crawford isn’t getting off scot free after cops found one joint in a car he was riding in with a friend in Texas. Today the Gossip Girl star goes in front of a judge to be officially charged with the misdemeanor. So you know what that means ladies? If you live in Texas, hop on down to the local courthouse (you guys have just one, right?) and get a glimpse of Nate Archibald getting his ass handed to him.

(Video via TMZ)

Post from: Crushable

Drew Grant — Tue, 25 May 2010 16:06:28 +0000

Lindsay Lohan Can’t Go To Texas For Imaginary Shoot – Lindsay Lohan tried to tell her judge that she can’t wear an alcohol monitoring SCRAM bracelet because it would “get in the way” of the Machete shoot she’s doing in Texas. Except she’s not in any of the scenes being shot in Texas, so…so…so… *twirls hair* (via TMZ)

Post from: Crushable

Here’s More Evidence That Bill Murray Is Awesome

Erin Carlson — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:57:47 +0000

Is it just us — or does everyone have a Bill Murray story? Yes, it’s just us. Still, for whatever reason, we keep finding ourselves in conversations with assorted people who have had memorable or unusual encounters with Murray. Like today, a girl in our neighborhood brought up the video of Murray bartending at the SXSW festival in Austin, Texas, that we wrote about on Friday. She witnessed this event, and said Murray walked in with the Wu-Tang Clan.

How awesome is that? Move over, Clint Eastwood, because Murray is The Man. Here are other stories we’ve collected recently from people who’ve spotted, interacted with or almost been killed by Bill Murray.

Our friend Kim was walking across the street in New York one day when a car almost clipped her — fortunately, she emerged unscathed albeit narrowly escaping with her life (OK, exaggeration on that last part). Anyway, it all happened so fast and there was no accident or conversation (in this city, everyone almost gets hit by a car) but Kim identified the driver as Murray and was thoroughly shocked and amused; weeks later, she ran into him at an entertainment industry party (she’s a news producer) and approached him to retell the story of the close call. Laughs were shared, and drinks were clinked. Murray felt bad.
This dude we met saw Murray in the skybox at a Yankees game and they exchanged phone numbers. We did not believe him until he whipped out his iPhone and, lo and behold, there was Murray’s number. We joked about calling the number but we did not because that would be uncouth.
A woman we know tells a true story of how her friend was hanging out in the hustle and bustle of New York’s Union Square when she laid eyes on Murray. He apparently overheard her talking to a friend about spotting him when all of a sudden, he popped up like a ghost behind her and said, “No one will ever believe you.” Then he disappeared into the crowd.
An interview between Murray and my former colleague at the AP turned into a therapy session when Murray spoke emotionally and candidly about his divorce and depression. My colleague returned to the office, beaming, knowing he had a great article on his hands — thanks to Murray being honest and forthcoming.

That’s Bill Murray for you: Salt of the earth, man of the people, hero to many, complex as all hell, here in the world. If anyone out there encounters him, would you mind asking what he told ScarJo during that one scene in Lost In Translation? Not entirely original, we know, but we remain curious.

Post from: Crushable

Lindsay Lohan in Austin

Arieanna — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:47:57 +0000

Lindsay Lohan is currently in Austin, Texas to resume filming her cameo in Robert Rodriguez’s film, Machete. Lindsay Lohan has the role of April, a “socialite with a penchant for guns.”

Though there are not photos or videos yet from the set, we have some on-hand tweets about Lindsay’s role:

@coltonjameskidd: Holy crap! I was an extra on the set of machete and ran behind Lindsay lohan while she was shooting some bad guys!

@ChrisKeegan: Just got off set of machete and today I got to work wit Lindsay lohan rob deniro jess alba and danny trejo lots of fun…

@SouthwestAir: They stopped at Amy’s Ice Cream! RT @ashbrown: @SouthwestAir Alba, Rodriguez, and Lohan in town to film “Machete.”

@kelseylillian: Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, and Robert De Niro are in downtown Austin today shooting a movie.

And, of course, Lindsay being in another state can completely debunk this stupid rumor. Ah, fact checking. What a sadly-underused skill!

Image: Newscom

Post from: Crushable