Textual Healing

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed—with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

While there many reasons why texting during a relationship of any seriousness or length is a good idea, when text messages are the main form of communication between a couple it’s easy to feel insecure in said relationship. This is a direct result of the fact that breaking up via text is so prevalent as well as the casual interaction of texting in general. A text conversation is far less serious (in the minds of many) than a conversation on the phone and definitely more impersonal than one had face to face. So when you have been on a few dates with a guy and then you don’t hear from him for a few days, if the main way you have been communicating is text, you are more apt to jump to the conclusion that he’s avoiding you than if you were waiting for a phone call. In other words, he’s going to have a matter of hours to text you after your last interaction while you might give him a few days to call you. Since you give a guy less leeway with texting, you’re quicker to write him off. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to sit next to a genuine male specimen during a train ride. He was a 25-year-old New Yorker who worked in finance and, while glancing at his Blackberry every 45 seconds, he confessed to me how much he hated talking on the phone. “I do just about anything to avoid it,” he told me about calling girls, friends, whoever. His preferred method of communication: texting. Followed by BBM and emails, of which he received hundreds a day thanks to his subscription to many list servs dating back to college. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

If someone asked you to track every conversation you had — via email, phone, text and in person — and keep a tally of how many lies you told in each conversation, what do you think the results would be? Through which medium would you lie the most? More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

Lately, my friends and I have been talking a lot about texting (and other communication) with ex-boyfriends. It is my opinion that, when a relationship ends, it’s never really mutual. One party always wants it to work out in the end — whether that means now or later — and is holding out hope that you’ll be together again. That person is usually the one to make the first move and reach out post-breakup. And if that’s not you, you have a decision to make about how to respond. More »

When you meet someone new, are you more interested in their phone number, email address or Facebook profile? More »

I had been thinking that my reliance on texting was making me crave constant communication with my friends as well as the guys I was dating, so I thought I would try to cut back the amount I texted daily. I decided to test my theory for a week. Would my conversations (even text conversations) be more meaningful if I had fewer of them every day? I hoped a short experiment would open my eyes to a better way to communicate — or show me that it didn’t really matter anyway. My conclusion: I still think texts have their place, but I have more of an appreciation for phone calls that I used to think were cumbersome and required too much attention. Sometimes, that’s not a bad thing. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

What would happen if, instead of texting the person you’re dating, you took the time to call them instead? You might “speak” less often, but your conversations would be longer, more complex and, ultimately, more intimate. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

“You will never believe what [insert name of best friend here] did the other day,” a friend said to me recently. “He texted me, asking me for my girlfriend’s number and then texted her to let her know he had just had sex in a public bathroom with his girlfriend. I guess it was some sort of challenge for us. She was into it, but I’m like, no thanks.” More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

Hey, guys, this one is for you. I have some helpful advice: no matter how much you may like a girl, unless you know she is THE ONE, don’t text her, Facebook her, call her, email her and then IM her within the span of your first week of meeting her. First of all, these actions are creepy and can be misconstrued as stalk-y (so, scratch what I said about “The One”). But secondly, the more insistent you are in contacting a girl, the more you give the perception that you are interested in spending time with her, getting to know her and heading down relationship lane. If you’re only intention is to get laid, then you should think twice. After such a big build-up, when you stop calling, texting, emailing and IMing (which, let’s face it, you probably will) you’ll look like an even bigger jerk for putting so much effort in at the beginning only to disappear days, weeks or months later. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

Last week, I revealed that I have, from time to time, received unwanted and vulgar text messages. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t text at all,” I advised, before pointing out that it’s not possible to block someone from sending you text messages, like you would block someone from Facebook or instant messenger.

But, I was proven wrong. Commenter Kait said there is a way to block numbers from being able to call or text your cell, at least for a few weeks or months at a time. While I’m all for blocking someone who is harassing you or stalking you via text, I’m apprehensive to block someone — like an recent ex, for example — who I told not to call or text me, but who I secretly hope will. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

You might be lucky enough not to have ever given your phone number to any stupid jerkfaces who text you nasty, mean or vulgar messages. I am not. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

A few months ago, I challenged myself to approach texting and dating in a different way. That meant using texts less and getting to know a guys in person or on the phone. I know, I know, talking on the phone seems like a foreign concept to young adults today. And, as the weeks went by I wondered if I would ever meet someone who would call me up to chat and make plans. But then I did and it made me realize how compelling a phone call can be. More »

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

For the past couple weeks, I have been talking about being dumped by text. And, after learning that many of you had been dumped (or dumped someone) by text message I posed this question: would you rather be dumped via text or just never speak to your guy again? But as your comments made clear, neither choice is ideal (thanks, Erin S). Breakups are hard, no matter the circumstances, and when it comes to using digital communication or cutting off all communication as a means to end a relationship, feelings are bound to be hurt. More »