0:00 – It’s another morning in the Italian villa of our human specimens, and they crawl from their darkened bedrooms on all fours. Brittany, The Situation’s blonde twin, emerges to try and track down her partner in hair dye and DNA.

0:30 – Brittany finds Erica asleep in Vinny’s bed. Erica doesn’t want to get up. Apropos of nothing, the twins both insist that they’re their own individual people who don’t need to do everything together. Instantly, they have ruined their appeal.

2:00 – Our specimens engage in exposition for those at home who missed last week’s episode. Vinny tells the tale of how Deena entered their bedroom to find Erica in his bed, mid pre-copulation ritual, and stole her away to her own bed like a Visigoth after too many chalices of mead.

4:00 – The girls go get wine, breakfast of crampions. Snooki explains that she has to tell her sex partner Jionni about the lies Situation has been spreading about his own supposed copulation encounters with Snooks.

5:00 – Deena talks about what she deems her “lesbionic” experience with Erica. They only made-out, she says, and then they watched three seasons of The L Word, adopted six cats and joined a softball team.

6:00 – JWOWW buys a giant hat!

6:30 – Back at the house, the discussion once again turns to Deena and her sexual proclivities. The men make fun of her and discuss “clean carpets,” which is a vaginal reference and also a way to admit they miss their mothers.

7:00 – Deena expresses emotions of sadness. Honey, it gets better.

11:00 – Snooki places a telephone call to her partner in monogamy, Jionni. She explains that Sitch is a lying bastard. Jionni  believes her and expressed the human emotion of love.

12:00 – Snooki says, “Let’s have babies.” (Note: Snooki can have babies?)

13:00 – It’s time for Sunday Dinner. The women decide to dress up like “40-year-old women from Yonkers.” The Situation says they look like “the Kentucky Derby fucked the Easter Bunny.” (Note: Is such a coupling available in porno format?)

14:00 – Deena explains the Erica encounter. She claims she was “bi-curious,” but now knows she like boys. Honey, it gets worse.

15:00 – Vinny is still upset about the bed robbery and the other boys have his back, which is a term meaning, “willing to say ‘I got your back’” more times that could ever possibly be necessary.

17:00 – The boys decide to play a prank on Deena. They take her bed and place it in the living room, and then they giggle a lot. (Note: Something in the Italian water? Edited note: Probably not. It’s unlikely they have consumed any water.)

17:00 – Deena crawls into her living room bed and has an “anxiety attack.” This means she is momentarily preoccupied with concerns larger than clothing and alcohol, and is sent on a downward spiral where she cannot stop thinking about the famine in Mogadishu.

20:00 – Jenni drags the bed back into Deena’s room. She calls for a meeting.

23:00 – Pauly accuses Deena of having turned into a different person, one with feelings and emotions and stuff. Deena agrees. She doesn’t seem like herself, on account of the feelings and emotions. She also blames alcohol.

24:00 – Deena and Pauly hug. They are friends again, at least until the next time Deena expresses a feeling or an emotion.

28:00 – The gang departs for their very first day of work. They get lost, but Deena figures it out. Indeed, once she put a cap on her feelings and emotions, her logical side became more prominent.

29:00 – The arrive at the pizzeria. Snooki has many problems with her hat, such as: It is not pink; it rubs up against her forehead and smears her bronzer; her brain does not fit inside of it.

30:00 – Vinny stands outside and passes out flyers to women. He is very good at it.

30:30 – Back at the house, Ronnie calls his friend Hannah, whom he had previously invited out to visit.

31:00 – JWOWW confronts Ron, because he’s supposed to be the coupling partner of Sammi again.

31:30 – It turns out Hannah is Ronnie’s contingency plan. He doesn’t know this about her, however, because he’s never heard that word before.

32:00 – Snooki hates her job. She and Deena get inside a garbage bag together. It’s a metaphor.

33:00 – Snooki and Deena want wine, but they can’t take any. So they get a customer to buy them some. They sneak into the bathroom and chug their fermented grapes. Visigoths, once again.

36:00 – The owner of the pizzeria, Marco, is displeased. He bangs on the door of the bathroom, where Snooki and Deena are locked inside with their cheap white wine.

36:00 – Snooki explains that Deena has her period and that she was giving her tampons. Plural. Yikes. (Note: Snooki has tampons, which means she can, in fact, have babies.)

37:00 – Marco finds the wine. He dumps it down the drain. Snooki says, “Marco wasting all that wine is definitely alcohol abuse.” (Note: she has clearly spent some time in AA.)

38:00 – A pigeon shits on Pauly.

38:30 – JWOWW and Ron go out shopping. Ron buys Sammi dresses “just to see her smile.” She has never smiled before, so it’s understandable why he would want to see this. Perhaps it’s ghoulish and funny!

39:00 – JWOWW and Snooki go out to dinner. They talk about cutting off their boyfriends’ penises and turning them into vibrators. (Note: product tie-in?)

40:00 – Ron and Sam go out to a romantic dinner. Romance ensues. Ron calls Sam “dude.”

41:00 – Ron and Dude walk home holding hands.

45:00 – The specimens go to a place called Club Yab. That’s a Scrabble word, and it’s an alternate spelling of “chi.”

46:00 – Ron dances in the vicinity of woman. Dude is upset. She calls Ron a F****** A******, which is Swahili.

47:00 – Ron and Dude fight viciously. She’s back to being called “Sam.”

48:00 – The Situation and Pauly take American girls home. As souvenirs.

51:00 – Ron and Sam fight viciously again. Sam tells Ron about this one time that Sitch said that Ron said he was going to bring a bunch of girls back to the house.

52:00 – Ron flips out. He turns into The Hulk (Ang Lee version) and goes after Sitch. He overturns a couch.

57:00 – Ron begins to hit The Situation. Sitch froths at the mouth. Ron beats him so viciously that even Deena the Visigoth runs away.

58:00 – An ambulance is heard in the background. It is not a metaphor.

Related posts:

• Jersey Shore Field Notes: … and Twins!
• ‘Jersey Shore’ Field Notes: Return to the Club
• ‘Jersey Shore’ Field Notes: Bongiorno Italia

Post from: Crushable

After the portions of the interview I mentioned before, Hilary shared the best news of the night: Hilary Duff returns to the studio this month to work on a new album!

“I’m going to start working on a new album in two weeks”

As she mentioned before, Hilary will be working on the album independent of any record label. Hilary has been writing songs and working hard to determine a new direction to go in. She’s looking to create music that more edgy, but still pop music:

“I like so many different kinds of music. Something poppy and catchy — I’m girly but I think I’m kind of tough, so maybe a little rock influence.”

Post from: Crushable

Hilary Duff talked to MTV about her new single, ‘Reach Out’, off of her ‘Best Of’ album. Hilary describes the new single with:

“It’s different for me. It’s a little dancey, and there’s a rapper named Prophet who’s on it who’s really cool and kinda fresh.”

Hilary also talked about ‘Holiday‘ as being a very “personal” song. As described in the next post, Hilary also talks about another new album!

More photos after the jump…

Post from: Crushable

More photos from backstage & from the press room after the jump…

Post from: Crushable

Hilary Duff has made several appearances on MTV’s Total Request Live (TRL) to promote her music and movies. The last time she was on was in April of this year, which you can check out here and here.

Sadly, Total Request Live is going off the air now. After more than 2200 shows, the series is set to come to an end with its final performance on November 16th. According to a press release, Hilary Duff will be attending the finale tribute show. The tribute show will feature big performances, guest appearances from music & movie stars, and a look back at the best TRL moments.

According to the announcement, Hilary Duff will be on TRL to talk about her most memorable moments on the show.

The special episode, and final episode, of MTV’s TRL will air on Sunday, November 16th at 8pm.

Post from: Crushable