Crushable » valentine’s day

Movie Etiquette: When Is It OK to Laugh/Cry/Scream/Clap in the Theater?

Natalie Zutter — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 20:30:57 +0000

While writing up the Avengers teaser leak earlier today, I came across a great comment on YouTube complaining about audiences who go apeshit during a movie. The commenter asked, Why the hell do people in other countries cheer and clap during films? Yeah this was cool but how about trying to watch it? Is it an American thing? Having never seen a movie in a foreign country, I can’t answer the nationality part, but I can respond to the first part: Because it’s so much fun to share in the experience with everyone else. That said, not every movie warrants us to play Mystery Science Theater and talk back to the screen. Here’s a guide for when to cheer and when to shut yer trap.

Acceptable: Horror, camp, sentimental dramas

These are the kinds of movies that feel most like a communal experience; it would be criminal to just sit there silently and basically ignore the other moviegoers. Interestingly, the actual quality of the movie is not proportional to the emotion it manages to wring from its viewers: My most fun movie experience so far in 2011 has been a press screening of The Roommate, where my co-workers and I hooted, gasped, and yelled as Leighton Meester creeped on Minka Kelly. (Billy Zane‘s jaunty cap also garnered applause.)

I brought up The Roommate because horror is the genre during which audible reactions are most acceptable. We’re all terrified, so we’re grateful for anything that takes our minds off the tension on-screen. Humor is a great outlet for our fear, and it comes in two ways:

a) Laughing at the undeniably cheesy parts of horror movies, like bad line deliveries and over-the-top deaths

b) Laughing at other peoples’ reactions

The latter isn’t meant to be cruel; if anything, it’s a relief that everyone in the theater is just as scared as you. Creating those pockets of humor enhance the really scary sequences. Few movies can do this organically; M. Night Shyamalan‘s Signs is the only one I can think of off the top of my head.

Harry Potter is the best possible example of when it’s OK to let out your affection for a sentimental flick. From what I remember of past screenings, Deathly Hallows, Part 2 was really the only Potter film to warrant no-holds-barred reactions. Any real fans have already read the books and know exactly what’s going to happen, so it’s a matter of waiting excitedly for Molly Weasley’s “Not my daughter, you bitch!” line. Also in this category are the loud, wrenching sobs during the requisite deaths and reveals that come with a final movie.

As for camp? The reason I go to every midnight premiere of the Twilight movies is to watch the audience: The starry-eyed fans’ boyfriends mocking Edward, preteen girls’ lustful screams for Jacob’s six-pack, and pretty unanimous laughter at any of Bella’s lines.

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Young Adult Books For Movie Lovers

Molly Horan — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 14:49:27 +0000

If you’re not reading Young adult (YA) lit this summer, you’re going to be left behind. From the final Harry Potter film’s July release to the casting buzz about the upcoming Hunger Games film, YA books aren’t just for high schoolers anymore. If you’re unsure where to start in the young adult canon, here are some friendly suggestions based on the DVD you’ve nearly worn out.

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‘Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade’ Movie in the Works–What’s Next, ‘St. Patrick’s Day’?

Natalie Zutter — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 21:55:24 +0000

Blame Love Actually for making an epic, starstudded romantic comedy all about Christmas. Or blame American film studios, who have to copy everything that the UK does in the hopes of making a dime. The latter, with Garry Marshall as director, were responsible for 2010′s lukewarm Valentine’s Day, as well as its groan-inducing “sequel” New Year’s Eve, currently filming in New York City. Now movie producers are circling the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade as the subject of the next holiday-centric movie.

No, it’s not Marshall attempting a hat trick; this is the brainchild of Scott Glassgold and Raymond Brothers, who envision a family-friendly film that could reach similar success as Elf and Night at the Museum. Macy’s is all for it, with a representative saying, “We are always searching for the next Miracle on 34th Street.” Rumor has it the producers are considering a scenario where the amazingly large balloons come to life.

Now stop right there. Sappy rom-coms we can handle — I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried at Julia Roberts‘ storyline in Valentine’s Day — but not little-kid flicks. If Hollywood had to crank out more holiday movies, these are the ones we’d want to see.

St. Patrick’s Day: Starcrossed lovers meet while on a pub crawl, but can’t find each other again in the sea of green. Plus, you can cast lots of hot Irish actors like Colin Farrell or Cillian Murphy.
Birthday: This is the perfect holiday to adapt, because you’ve got a) the people who hate their birthdays; b) a Selena Gomez-type celebrating her sweet sixteen; c) a girl whose boyfriend forgot; and d) a serial killer going after a young woman on her special day. (No, that’s really an actual movie.)
Cinco de Mayo: Drunken misadventures of two guys who get lost in Mexico — a feel-good buddy movie.
Halloween: Oh, they’ve done that one already?
April Fools’ Day: I could see someone like Judd Apatow jumping on this, and just coming up with lots of ingenious and hilarious pranks.

If any of these get developed, I expect a check and a story credit. Also, let’s take a brief moment to remember the holiday-centric movies that didn’t make us want to gouge out our eyeballs: Groundhog Day, Independence Day, and A Christmas Story.

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Exclusive: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Went Out on Valentine’s Day – But Not With Each Other

Lilit Marcus — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 15:08:53 +0000

This Valentine’s Day, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick both went to the restaurant Odeon in New York’s TriBeCa neighborhood. However, the married couple didn’t come to the restaurant together. SJP was seated with an unidentified man believed to be her date for the night – “She was feeding him food off of her plate,” said a source, “and they looked pretty intimate to me.” As for Parker’s husband? Broderick walked in with friends Casey Affleck and Ben Stiller and sat at a table where they could view Parker easily. As the group kept ordering drinks, Stiller loudly narrated everything that Parker and her date were doing at their table while Parker appeared mortified. According to fellow restaurant patrons, who overheard everything Stiller was saying in the small space, the guys knew that Parker would be there that night and came to Odeon with the sole purpose of embarrassing her.

This isn’t the first time there have been rumors about the shakiness of Broderick and Parker’s marriage – in 2008, Star magazine claimed that Broderick had been cheating, and after the couple’s twin daughters were born the following year the pair reportedly took up separate residences. However, Broderick and co’s very public actions last week make it seem that the couple isn’t even trying to keep up appearances.

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Sex On The Wire: You Kneed To Try These ‘Adult’ Kneepads

Hannah Rose — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 21:30:50 +0000

Why hasn’t anyone thought of this sooner? Introducing: blow-job knee pads. Because there’s nothing sexier than protective padding. (The Frisky)

One feminist tries to reconcile her political beliefs with the fact that she likes to be spanked in bed. Spoiler alert: it’s difficult. (YourTango)

A student-run college group tries to overhaul the pervasive “hook-up culture.” (Fox News)

Would you be able to abstain from drinking on a first date? (Marie Claire)

One writer schools boyfriends on how to keep the romance alive in a relationship after Valentine’s Day. Note: managing to leave the room to fart does not a romantic gesture make. (The Gloss)

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Textual Healing: Responding To Late Valentine’s Day Texts

Amanda Ernst — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 18:41:23 +0000

Text messaging is often the fastest way to communicate with friends and acquaintances, but it’s not always the best one. Especially when it comes to texting with guys. Here at Crushable we aim to help you sift through all the subtext and emerge relatively unscathed – with a little help from our friend Amanda Ernst.

Today is February 15. You loaded yourself full of Italian food and too much red wine last night while you ~~commiserated~~ partied with your single gal pals, and now you notice a text on your cell that you received sometime between your third glass of wine and when you stumbled, slightly hungover, from bed this morning.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse for you to wallow in memories of ex-boyfriends, and if your ex found himself alone (and drunk) last night, he was probably doing the same. All of the social pressure on singles plus a stomach full of vodka and a sugar high from too many cookies/chocolates/candy hearts can be a lethal combination, with results likely including embarrassing text messages to exes, ones who got away, or your secret crush. In fact, the idea for this very column came from a Valentine’s Day text from an ex boyfriend who was undoubtedly drunk and lonely and not thinking clearly.

If you’ve avoided replying on the most romantic day of the year to whatever some guy (who wasn’t cool enough to ask you out on Valentine’s Day) happened to think appropriate to text you, then I have some advice about how to proceed now.

• Ignore that text from your ex — Whether he’s a recent ex or someone you haven’t heard from in over a year, this approach is always valid. If he wants to talk about getting back together, reconnect as friends or was trying to hit you up for a booty call, Valentine’s Day is never the time to do it. If he’s really serious about reuniting, he’ll reach out again on any old day.

• Cut the new guy you just started seeing some slack — So he avoided you until 12:01 a.m. on Valentine’s Day. It’s okay. When a relationship is young (like, just a few dates in) Valentine’s Day can put a lot of pressure on a guy to be romantic. And you don’t want to date someone who is just going to be romantic because of a date on a calendar. If your new relationship isn’t there yet, don’t push it. Admit it, you had more fun with your girlfriends eating unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden than you would have on an awkward second or third date anyway.

• Give your casual hook-up a good ribbing — Really? You really thought it was a good idea to booty text me on Valentine’s Day? I’m not that desperate for some loving. Don’t text me in the middle of the week again unless you have a better offer. Like one that includes a free meal.

• Make a move on your crush — You’ve been playing text-tag with that cute boy for weeks, but he’s never pulled the trigger and asked you out. Now that the dreaded Valentine’s Day has passed, what’s his excuse? He did text you on February 14 (give or take a few hours), after all, so he’s sending you all the single and interested signals. Today’s the day to ask him when he plans to ask you out. Or, better yet, let the spirit of St. Valentine motivate you to ask him out yourself.

Now, all these suggestions are good and well if you got a text from a guy that you didn’t reply to. But what if you were the one who drunkenly texted him in a champagne-infused haze? Depending on how it went down, I can only offer you one piece of advice: play it down. If there is one night of the year (in addition to your birthday and New Year’s Eve) when you can get away with sending embarrassing texts and acting like it didn’t happen, it’s Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your get out of jail free card, take any gentle mocking that comes your way and don’t forget to delete certain phone numbers next time you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

Did you get any remarkable, surprising or inappropriate texts last night or on past Valentine’s Days? How did you respond? Leave your experiences in the comments below and you might see your stories featured in an upcoming installment of Textual Healing.

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Valentine’s OMG: The Guy From Owl City Has Written Taylor Swift A Love Song

Liana Maeby — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:40:35 +0000

One of the tracks on Taylor Swift‘s Speak Now was certainly about neither John Mayer nor Taylor Lautner: the swooning “Enchanted” tells the story of a single flirty night with a new acquaintance. Taylor refused to disclose the subject of the song, admitting only that it was someone she met in New York City. However, Private Eye Internet deduced it was Owl City’s Adam Young that Taylor met that night — and Adam has apparently confirmed the sleuthing!

The Owl City frontman released a response song today, putting his own electronic spin on Taylor’s original ode to quipping and eye-flirting. Turns out he was enchanted to meet her too! He also released a gushing letter to Miss Taylor, which Popdust has printed. All right you crazy kids, go get a room before Valentine’s Day is over.

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Sex On The Wire: Don’t Keep Your Socks On During Sex & Other Bedroom Tips You Should Already Know

Hannah Rose — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 20:03:10 +0000

If you’re prone to one night stands, remember to empty the trash and hide the evidence. (College Candy)

One doctor suggests making Valentine’s Day all about sex — Isn’t it always? (BettyConfidential)

Here are the horniest neighborhoods in New York. (Daily Intel)

If you’ve been dating for a long time, the sex in your relationship may have waned. Here are some tips to keep sex fresh and exciting. (YourTango)

39.8% of poll-takers are celebrating Valentine’s Day quietly with a significant other. 11.44% of poll-takers are boycotting “St. Hallmark’s Day.” What about you? (The Frisky)

(Photo via WENN)

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The Daily WTF: Happy Valentine’s Day, Love This Dog

Liana Maeby — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 19:41:49 +0000

“Herro! I woof you. This is your Valentine’s Day present, do you like it? I sprinkled some rose petals over the bed, but then I ate them. Gotta work on that impulse control! Um, can we go for a walk now?”

(via)

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Valentine’s Day Experiment: The Love Playlist

Amanda Ernst — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:25:54 +0000

As a single girl, I’m loathe to love Valentine’s Day. But whether its because I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, or because I’m a sucker for red and pink, I just can’t help but get in the holiday spirit.

A few days ago, Justin Bieber‘s “Somebody to Love” popped up on my iPod, and I had an idea. A Valentine’s Day challenge if you will. How many songs with the word “love” in them were crowding my song library? How many of them did I actually like? I went through all my songs and made a playlist with only songs with the L word in them, then edited it down for quality and repeat tracks from the same artists (the worst repeat offenders included Justin Timberlake and John Mayer). The result is a somewhat embarrassing look at my taste in music and a fun V-Day themed playlist that you can enjoy, too. If you like power ballads about broken hearts and sappy love songs.

Somebody To Love by Justin Bieber
Find Your Love by Drake
Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
Hate That I Love You by Rihanna
I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
If You Had My Love by Jennifer Lopez

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Let me break it down for you:

1. Justin Bieber, “Somebody to Love” – Nothing is bad that starts with Bieber.

2. Drake, “Find Your Love” – This steamy song never fails to put me in a good mood, even on Valentine’s Day.

3. Leona Lewis, “Bleeding Love” – Not a love song by any stretch of the imagination, but so darn catchy.

4. Rihanna, “Hate That I Love You” – Don’t beat yourself up, girl. You can go better.

5. Joan Jett, “I Hate Myself For Loving You” – See number 4.

6. Jennifer Lopez, “If You Had My Love” – An oldie, but a goodie. It may have been overplayed back in 2000, but its actually pretty empowering and fun.

7. John Mayer, “Love Song For No One” – An anthem for every single girl or guy.

8. Sara Bareilles, “Love Song” – Is it a love song? Is it a break up song? Not sure.

9. Justin Timberlake, “My Love” – Of all Justin’s songs with “love” in the title, this is my fav.

10. Carole King, “Will You Love Me Tomorrow?” – A question we’ve all asked our significant others, no?

11. *NSYNC, “That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You” – Embarrassing. But still one of my favorite love songs.

If you did this same experiment, what songs would your playlist have? Which ones do you think mine is missing?

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