Crushable » video

Video: ‘Bath Time For Baby Sloths’ Is The Cutest Thing You Will See All Day

Jamie Peck — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:18:57 +0000

It’s a well established fact that baby sloths are the cutest things ever. They have two funny toes, they always look like they’re smiling, and they move with slow, deliberate grace. Hence, it comes as no surprise that a video of baby sloths getting a bath would be off-the-charts, OMG, dying of cuteness cute.

This clip, taken from Animal Planet’s show Too Cute (which seems tailor made to be passed around on the internet), shows baby sloths at an animal sanctuary getting a parasite-proofing bath. While some people would pay good money to be slathered in organic green tea shampoo, the sloths don’t much care for it, so they get hibiscus flowers as a treat afterwards. The noises they make, the way their fur puffs up, the looks on their little sloth faces…it’s almost too much to handle. Those unafraid of death by “aaaaaw” can find more baby sloth videos here.

(Via Animal Planet)

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Video: Why You Shouldn’t Propose On The JumboTron

Molly Horan — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:40:56 +0000

This video taken of the JumboTron at a UCLA basketball game starts out with so much potential. Cute elderly couples are kissing for all to see. A man is about to ask his girlfriend to be with him forever. Unfortunately the moral of the clip is not love is all around, it’s run the idea of marriage by your girlfriend before proposing publicly.

It’s hard to say what the most painful moment of this guy’s rejection is. The sound of the crowd’s growing realization that he’s not going to get a yes, the way he looks too hurt to even bother being embarrassed, or the announcer’s attempt to soften the blow by suggesting the girl didn’t bolt in terror at the thought of marriage but because she’s “camera shy.”

Next time this man pops the question I’m going to bet it’ll be at his own place, with the curtains drawn, possibly by passing a note.

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Video: Harrison Ford Watches Himself As Indiana Jones For The First Time

Amanda Chatel — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:42:27 +0000

You may find this hard to believe, but Harrison Ford has never seen himself as the iconic character Indiana Jones. It wasn’t until just recently that the actor not only confessed to having never watched them, but actually took the time to sit down and take them all in during a private screening. Luckily a team was there, too, to get it all on video.

Watch as Ford yells “go, go, go!” at the television, says “the action just keeps on coming – I have not ever seen anything like this,” and laughs at his overall Indiana Jones awesomeness.

Granted, this is just what Ford claims, so it’s hard to tell for sure if he’s pulling a fast one on fans or not. However, his face is priceless when he, Short Round and Willie Scott drop off the roller coaster in the Temple of Doom.

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Video: Norwegian Chris Crocker Demands We Empathize With His Country’s Butter Shortage

Jamie Peck — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:16:06 +0000

As you may know, Norway is currently experiencing a tragic butter shortage that’s left many citizens wondering how they’re going to bake Christmas cookies this year. Because the jokes write themselves, many people have been making light of this issue, but a self-described “singer, celebritys [sic.], and famous bloggers [sic.]” named Tommy has taken to Youtube to tell you to cut it out.

From the beginning, you can tell that Tommy is very sad about butter. “What if it was yu who didn’t have any butter?” he asks us to imagine, which is hard because we do have butter, but let’s try to play along. “What if I came home to you and took your butter away from you?” Tommy gets increasingly upset until the end, when he scolds us, “you don’t know how it feels not having butter in Christmas time. And I ask again, what if it was you [pregnant, emotional pause] who didn’t have butter?” He ends by threatening to come to all our houses and eat our butter “in front of you and your family’s eyes, and force you to watch me eat all your butter that you were gonna have on Christmas eve.” I’m pretty sure that qualifies him for a spot on Homeland Security’s no-fly list. Americans don’t mess around with their saturated fats.

(Via Vulture)

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Ke$ha Starts A Blog Dedicated To Her Beard Fetish

Jamie Peck — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:12:07 +0000

You’ve got to hand it to Ke$ha: her talents may be dubious, but they are legion. In addition to writing annoying-but-catchy radio hits, wearing mullet dresses, and dueling with James Van Der Beek, she can now add one more weird line to her resume: Founder and Editor-In-Chief of her very own beard fetish blog.

“Launched” earlier this week, putyourbeardinmymouth.tumblr.com already contains two pages of, you guessed it, photos of guys putting their beards in Ke$ha’s mouth, alongside descriptive captions like “Fresh out of prison beard,” “Magical wizard beard,” and “does the carpet match the curtains??? VIVA LAS GINGERBEARDS!!”

The garbage princess has also created this single minded music video to aid her in her quixotic quest to taste every beard in America:

Put Your Beard In My Mouth from Magic Seed Productions on Vimeo.

Good luck and God speed.

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Video: Keanu Reeves Gives Up His Seat On The Subway

Jamie Peck — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 16:41:04 +0000

What makes Sad Keanu happy? Giving his seat on the subway away to ladies, apparently! How nice of him.

We know this because someone recently spied him riding the NYC subway just like a regular, non-famous person would. When they pulled out their phone to take some exciting video of him sitting, something magical happened: he gave up his seat so a woman could sit down, and he was totally cool and non-showy about it. OR WAS HE? Maybe his Matrix sense told him that an iPhone camera was on him and he was to be on his best behavior. In any case, he seems like a totally radical dude, brah.

I also find it somewhat sad that despite the fact that Keanu couldn’t have been any less douchey in this video, the person still titled it “KEANU REEVES gentleman or douche?” Was that really necessary?

(Via Buzzfeed)

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Video: 8-Year-Old Marriage Equality Activist Pwns Michele Bachmann

Jamie Peck — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:05:33 +0000

A video has been making the Internet rounds today that’s simultaneously amusing and disturbing. Amusing because of the look on Michele Bachmann‘s face, and disturbing because the kid is so clearly terrified of her.

What happened was this: an activist mom was in Myrtle Beach with her son Elijah for an Occupy Myrtle Beach event, when they saw that the lyin’ ass politician was in town doing a book signing. Mother and son took a detour over there, approached the table, and the shy little activist mumbled something to Bachmann. “I think my ears were too far away, do you wanna come a little closer?” the pinwheel-eyed demagogue coaxed. He did not! But she pulled him in anyway. “My mom’s gay but she doesn’t need any fixing,” the tyke managed, and her face changed from “aw” to “ugh! Get this unholy offspring of a Sodomite non-family away from me!” She wasted no time in shutting him down with a “bye bye,” and then he was off.

I’m sort of divided on this video. On the one hand, I think it’s important for Bachmann to be confronted with the adorable children her politics are hurting. On the other, the kid looked pretty uncomfortable. However, I’m pretty sure he believed what he was saying, i.e. that his family is just as good as any other family. You don’t get too many eight-year-olds going “Michele Bachmann is totally right, my family is bad because I have two mommies.” He might not understand everything about the fight for marriage equality yet, but I’m pretty sure eight-year-olds understand the concept of fairness. As their constant cries of “that’s unfair!” would attest.

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Video: Conan Reenacts The Justin Bieber Paternity Scandal With Peanuts

Liana Maeby — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:26:43 +0000

Yes, peanuts. As in: groundnuts, legumes, goobers, geek-poison, G.W. Carver gold, the crunchy stuff in that Pad Thai you’re eating again, you unadventurous chump. A video segment on last night’s episode of Conan used a couple of peanuts-in-the-shell to recreate the Justin Bieber/Mariah Yeater paternity scandal… with a little creative interpreting, of course.

Basically: we see peanut Bieber and peanut Mariah fucking in the bathroom. For Conan’s sake, I certainly hope he cast a nut of legal age to play Justin, because the last thing we need is another Bieber-related scandal. Nut activists unite!

If you haven’t been following this scintillating saga, Mariah has dropped the charges against Justin because, well, because he isn’t the father of her kid. Bieber and his team still might sue Mariah for defamation, though — and we hope to see that lawsuit reenacted by grapes.

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Video: Alec Baldwin Gives Measured Answers To Questions At Occupy Wall Street

Jamie Peck — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:35:05 +0000

Last night, Alec Baldwin joined the ever growing list of celebrities who’ve put in appearances at Occupy Wall Street, some with more success than others. Despite initially being sort of shy, he spoke to the cameras a little bit about the value of capitalism, his non-support of Ron Paul (THANK YOU), and his uncertainty over whether abolishing the Fed would be a good idea for the economy. So basically, Alec Baldwin is a thoughtful and cautious, if somewhat milquetoast, liberal. Forget mayor, this guy could run for president! (Hey, it worked for Obama. Sort of.)

As glad as I am that celebrities are lending their star power to the cause, I find it kind of annoying that most of them go down to one of the most media saturated events in New York City expecting not to be interviewed. I mean, regular, non-famous people get interviewed all the time at this thing. Of course people are going to want to know a celebrity’s take on it, why they’re there, etc. If a whole bunch of regular people can answer this question, I don’t see why a celebrity should think himself exempt.

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Video: Lady Gaga Adulates Bill Clinton, Self, Drops F-Bomb At Clinton Birthday Gala

Jamie Peck — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:40:45 +0000

This past weekend, former president Bill Clinton threw a gala to celebrate both his 65th birthday (which was actually in August) and the tenth birthday of his charitable foundation. And what better way to do that than by watching Lady Gaga flounce about in weird costumes, drop the f-bomb, and give him (and herself) some seriously ass-licking compliments?

First, she took the stage wearing a giant net thing on her head and did a stripped down version of “Born This Way” on the piano (with some Clinton references added) before launching into a full on performance complete with hot back-up dancers. Each time I see Lady Gaga do this, I’m amazed by how great it is and wonder why she insists on eclipsing her talents by burying them in over-produced Euro disco, but I realize I’m in the minority on this.

Next, she did “The Edge Of Glory.” “I wish that you were playing sax with me tonight, baby,” she purred, to the great delight of the whole Clinton family.

Next, she congratulated herself on being so successful and called herself a “twisted New York version” of the American dream. (She also called it her “Marilyn Monroe moment,” because I guess maybe she thought that would be funny to the infidelity-ridden couple.) I mean, she was born only kind of rich on the upper west side, and now she’s super rich on the lower east side. That is a Horatio Alger story if ever I did hear one.

Then she did “Bad Romance,” calling it “Bill Romance” at first. Aw.

Then she congratulated herself some more on being Lady Gaga, saying that if someone had told her a few years ago she’d be performing for Bill Clinton, she would’ve given them a “good American fuck you.” OH NO SHE DIDN’T!

Then she did “You and I” and changed some of the words to be about how Hillary and/or Bill should be in the Oval Office with those high heels on. (Does she know you’re not allowed to be President twice?) She also said that the Clintons make us all feel safe, which, well, speak for yourself.

Then she got rolled off the stage to “Government Hooker,” which, okay, was kind of amusing. Was she mocking her own adulation of Bill Clinton?

This performance was memorable enough, and it looks like the Clintons had a fabulous time. But it might have been better for her to plug the unqualifiedly good things Bill Clinton has done with his foundation in the past ten years than to look back with nostalgia to a presidency she was too young to really evaluate properly when it was going on. Then again, with all the shitty things that are going on in the world today, I can see how it might be tempting to idealize a time when the biggest threat to our national stability (that we knew of) was a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky.

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