The following is a guest post from our friends at Luckymag.com.

Doesn’t it seem like the best—or at least most loved—actors always bring some bit of their own personality to their roles? Audrey Hepburn was just so Audrey Hepburn. Marilyn Monroe was just so Marilyn. And many of today’s biggest stars, from Tom Hanks (always comes off as so damn nice) to Jennifer Aniston (ever so girl-next-door relatable) just have that thing where you feel like you’re watching them, even as they transform into other characters.

The same can certainly be said of Lucky fave, Zooey Deschanel. Though she balks at being the poster girl for quirky, there’s something appeallingly, shall we say, offbeat about her, whether on or off camera. And directors have certainly taken note. She’s constantly cast as the girl who’s a little…different. And really, can you imagine anyone else pulling off her dorky/adorable role in New Girl? Plus, in Zooey’s case it’s often not only her charming personality that shines through on screen, but her distinctive personal style, too. Click through for the evidence!

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Post from: Crushable

Mary-Louise Parker‘s Weeds character Nancy Botwin is one of my all-time favorites from all of TV. She’s cool and whip-smart and she doesn’t give a damn about anything. Nancy’s lack of morality makes her super compelling, and it seems to be something Mary-Louise likes about her character as well. She wrote a letter directed at Nancy in Bullett.
Here’s an excerpt:

“I hope you are doing better than the last time I saw you. I can’t imagine you have changed much despite incarceration, fetching little recidivist that you are. You know I mean that with love. Certainly you are not evolved in any substantial way? Stay out there in the dark with only that parchment halo as some kind of tricky GPS. Your moral compass will always give you a fake speed limit. Use it. Drink up that narcissism juice and burn rubber, baby. Don’t ever change. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you grew a conscience, but what’s more, I have grown to love you. We have only two or three things in common despite sharing a body, but that doesn’t seem to matter. I don’t feel like quitting you just yet. Anyways, I am keeping your stuff safe. Send news.”

“Your moral compass will always give you a fake speed limit… Drink up that narcissism juice and burn rubber, baby.” Will someone record this and turn it into a new “Sunscreen Song” already? Baz Luhrmann, you’ve been lax in your duties.

Post from: Crushable

After an uneven but mostly entertaining seventh season, the finale to the latest Weeds cycle left something to be desired. Band Aid solutions, a lack of real tension, and a cliffhanger out of fucking nowhere all made for a finale that was somewhat less thrilling than the airport stand-off of season six. Then again, once you’ve had Nancy turn herself into the FBI to save herself and her family from being murdered by a Mexican drug boss/mayor, it’s hard to figure out where to go from there.

You Lumber And You’re An Ass

Re-introducing Nancy’s sister Jill into the show as a jealous saboteur adds both humor and pathos. She gives the show’s writer yet another chance to satirize white suburbanites’ racist tendencies (“are we being home invasion robbed?” she asks when Heylia and Pierre appear), and the insults with which she and Nancy needle each other are so sisterly it hurts. She also provides an important foil for Nancy, whose machinations in the drug world seem slightly more understandable when weighed against Jill’s alternative of “dying on the vine” and becoming an unhappy, alcoholic housewife.

Of course, Nancy’s world is exciting to Jill even as she prepares to use it to keep Stevie from her forever; a routine pick-up of the jacked weed from Dmitri‘s three army stooges provides her endless fun in the form of bong hits and physical validation; she’s overjoyed when she comes out on top in one round of a game of “do her, don’t do her.” “Oh no, I lost the rape contest,” Nancy responds, wearily. I doubt Jill even realizes that rape is an omnipresent threat in the life of a female drug dealer who must constantly deal with men who are bigger, crazier, and more heavily armed than her.

I Fucked Up

The episode’s most touching moments come when Silas, aided by Wise Uncle Andy and a trip to Charles‘ funeral, realizes he did a really shitty thing to his mother (whether the jacking was intentional or not), and takes steps to try to make things right again between them. The look of simultaneous happiness and dread he has on his face when Nancy puts him in a headlock and smothers him with motherly love might be Hunter Parrish‘s finest acting yet, bless his smokin’ hot little heart. Has Silas finally realized he doesn’t need Nancy’s permission to be his own person? Hopefully, because if there’s anything I’ve learned from watching seven seasons of this show, it’s that the Botwins survive as a unit or not at all.

You Got Some Internal Valve Inside You, Kid, And It’s Turned Off

Officer Wallette has finally recognized that Shane is a sociopathic mama’s boy, and takes pleasure in telling him about the world of shit he’s going to unleash on his mother even as he himself appears close to unraveling. Nobody makes an NYPD pig feel stupid and gets away with it! Unless, of course, you have something he wants. “What the fuck do you have that I want?” asks Wallette incredulously. Cut to two months later with Nancy still roaming free, and Shane is secretly attending a police academy. Is he going to become an undercover cop of some sort? I find it hard to believe that this would convince a man having rage dreams about the woman who fucked him over to leave her un-touched, but maybe this will grow clearer in the next season (if there is one). Maybe he saw an opportunity to use Shane’s intelligence and sociopathic tendencies for his own personal gain.

May We Not Kill One Another

I know, let’s resolve the huge plot issues with a jump forward in time. There, that’s good. In an effort to get Silas out of the city and working the land again after Heylia’s assertion that Silas was happiest this way rang true, Nancy has purchased a family compound in Connecticut with a little help from Doug Wilson. When presented wth this idea, I guess the previously intractable Jill was like, “sure, sister I hate and wish to see suffer. I will totally move my three kids (two of my own, plus the one I am keeping from you for his own good) across the country and live on your drug estate paid for with grifted Wall Street money. Shall I bring the ambrosia?” Jill is unpredictable, I guess.

We now come to the season’s infuriating tacked on cliffhanger, one that feels even less earned than that “Who Killed Jenny?” plot line in The L Word. After faking us out with a toy laser, the camera pans over to an actual hit man hiding in the bushes with Nancy in his sights. Bang goes the gun, and the screen goes simultaneously dark. I’m sorry, but what the fuck, Weeds? You are so cheap sometimes. I’m having trouble even thinking of anyone who wants Nancy dead at this point; Esteban is gone, Heylia got what she wanted, and Wallette has struck some sort of deal with Shane. In any case, there’s no way the show would do another season without its star and it has yet to be explicitly cancelled, so I’m pretty sure Nancy will survive. (Maybe that gun shot was Shane killing the sniper?) Whether or not the show will survive is another story.

Amazing Quote Of The Week

“Of course she’s up there dancing some surrealist masked death dance. Huh, she’s put on a little weight.”

-Andy, on Maxine, at Charles‘ funeral. Apparently Andy’s former polyamorous lover got knocked up by some guy named “Lanny.” I’m pretty sure “Lanny” is not a real name, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Andy is the father.

Amazing Still Of The Week

Doug continues to handle the SEC lady using only his improbably attractive-to-her body. Too bad he couldn’t be nice to her for a little longer…he’s going to need all the help he can get as CFO of a horrifically criminal financial firm. How serendipitously timely.

Related posts:

• Weeds S7E12 Recap: “Oh My God, We’re Getting Mugged By Sarah Palin”
• Weeds S7E11 Recap: Be My Hot Woman, Andy
• Weeds S7E10 Recap: “But She Started It!”
• Weeds S7E9 Recap: “Thanks For Last Night”

Post from: Crushable

This week’s episode of Weeds continued the heartbreaking plotline of mother vs. son and ended with a misunderstanding of Shakespearean proportions. Luckily, there was a lot of comic relief as well, with Doug Wilson continuing to justify his existence via one of the most awkward seductions in television history. Let’s take a look.

Oedipal Struggle

We open with a split screen of Nancy and Silas vying to steal various clients away from each other. It seems like a good, clean fight…for now. Nancy has teamed up with Silas’ former modeling agent even though she basically admitted to Nancy that she sexually harassed her son, which is gross. In order to get some sweet VC money from Doug’s crooked hedge fund, they give a presentation on how they are going to turn their weed into an exclusive luxury item hand delivered by fashion models in town cars. They’re going to make it really hard for people to buy in, and this will trick them into paying $500 per dime bag like at the country club. (“Nothing makes a rich person want something more than telling them they cant have it.” So true!) Their shit eating, cat-that-swallowed-the-canary grins during this scene are priceless. Mary-Louise Parker and Kat Foster must have taken some special acting classes for that.

Meanwhile, Doug Wilson must distract the SEC lady the only way he knows how: with his schlubby sex appeal. Would he ever pull this off in real life without getting maced and sued? Who cares when it produces stills like this! Here he is realizing his harebrained scheme is actually going to work, and he now has to romance the woman whose purse he farted in just a few days prior:

Shifting Alliances

Nancy and Silas both have allies that help them with all manner of screwing and screwing over. Nancy has Dmitri (who jacks Silas’ MILF supply off the newly returned Heylia and Dean, hilariously), and Silas has Mini-Nancy Emma. But for once, Nancy senses things have gone a step too far with Dmitri’s overly exuberant jacking (and/or that Silas has become a loose cannon), and scrambles to correct it before he retaliates with something terrible. But it’s too late! Silas has already gotten stoned and decided to send Emma to tattle on Nancy to Shane’s cop friend, bearing out Dmitri’s little proverb that “you can’t go to war halfway.” I’m not sure I buy that Emma wouldn’t have narced on Nancy already in order to keep from going to jail, but maybe there was some sort of drug dealer courtesy at play. Snitches get stitches, etc.

This all comes just as Nancy is about to get Stevie back from her horrible sister Jill. Such dramatic irony! (How she’s able to use her drug money to show the judge her finances have improved is murky, but whatever.) Perhaps forgetting that Stevie is his relative as well, Silas even brings Jill to NYC for some nefarious purpose, possibly gloating. Even before finding out that Nancy has nothing to do with the jacking, the look on his face as he picks his auntie up at the airport portends the monumental admission of “I fucked up!” that he makes in the preview for the next episode. What the fuck, Silas? The use of tUnEyArDs’ “Gangsta” over the end credits adds a nice touch of dread. (Pity it didn’t make it to the “bang bang bang!” part.) Whoever picks the music for this show has been killing it lately. What’s a boy to do if he’ll never be a gangsta, indeed?

Amazing Quote(s) Of The Week

“I kind of wanna touch his bicep like once, why is that?”

-Andy, on Dmitri

“That’s why I do those things. Feelings. You’re so…beautiful?”

-Doug, to the SEC lady

Related posts:

• Weeds S7E11 Recap: Be My Hot Woman, Andy
• Weeds S7E10 Recap: “But She Started It!”
• Weeds S7E9 Recap: “Thanks For Last Night”
• Weeds S7E8 Recap: Worlds Collide

Post from: Crushable

This week’s episode of Weeds featured two of the things that made the pre-Mexico seasons of this show great: class-based satire, and Oedipal struggle. The “Lifestyle of the Rich and the Stupid” Hamptons interlude almost made up for the episode’s heartbreaking final scene. Almost.

La mere que j’aimer baiser

Terrible French aside, Nancy‘s tactic of selling weed to rich people for many times its normal price by putting it in a nice box and telling them it’s French is pretty genius. Rich people are so dumb and vain! The parade of spot-on caricatures at the country club includes such delights as a frazzled society lady who’s stressed out about getting her kid into preschool, and a trophy wife who likes to get high and go down on her old and gross husband. I guess she needs something to take her mind off of…that.

Andy, however, takes first prize in the satire Olympics with his portrayal of “Bill Sussman,” a fake investor in Doug‘s crooked hedge fund. Things that Bill Sussman has purchased with his Doug money include an abortion for his girlfriend, a castle in the South of France, and prosthetic balls for his dog. (They’re called “neuticles.”) Unfortunately for Andy, he can’t hold quite as many Long Island iced teas as Bill Sussman can, and he ends up puking out yet another confession of his sad, sad love for Nancy before puking out actual puke on a potential rube.

“Let him go, we don’t need him.”

Back in New York City, things are not so good. Silas and Nancy continue to struggle for control of the business, and he steps up the “macho bullshit” in an effort to convince his mom he’s not a kid anymore. Unfortunately, in her eyes, he will always be a kid, because she is that kind of terrible mother, and she tells him as much. I think he’s sort of an idiot to be that pissed at Nancy for having Emma busted–they clearly still can’t trust her, and she’s also a total snotty bitch (it generally doesn’t help one’s case to call a cop a “blue collar piece of shit” while being arrested)–but nonetheless, I see where he’s coming from. He needs to escape her castrating Freudian influence and whatnot. This ultimately leads to Silas taking the database of clients and striking out on his own. The look on Nancy’s face as he invites her to physically fight him for the database is way sad, as is the ironic old timey way he says “best of luck to ya Nancy” as he walks out the door “forever.”

How happy is Shane that he now has Nancy all to his creepy, Oedipal self? Will Silas continue to take out his “impotent rage” on mini-mom Emma? Will Andy ever stop being a chick-follower? Perhaps we’ll find out next week.

Amazing quotes of the week:

“These are well-respected members of society. They do coke.”

-Doug Wilson, on the Hamptons d-berries

“Bill Sussman doesn’t do it on a bed. Bill Sussman does it on a bearskin rug, bareback and backwards.”

-Andy

Related posts:

• Weeds S7E10 Recap: “But She Started It!”
• Weeds S7E9 Recap: “Thanks For Last Night”
• Weeds S7E8 Recap: Worlds Collide
• ‘Weeds’ S7E7 Recap: Nancy Makes A Deal…Not That Kind

Post from: Crushable

This episode finally saw Nancy get out from under the fascist boots of both the law and Zoya, only to land back in the kind of hot water with which she’s familiar: hot water that is full of rival drug dealers. This episode was all about subverting our expectations. Smart Shane did something stupid, competent Silas did something incompetent, and Doug Wilson actually did something helpful!

Shane

For reasons that are Freudian and gross, Shane wants to be the son Nancy relies on to run her drug empire. He thinks he can outsmart his crooked cop friend by printing out info on Pouncy House Party Rentals while “upgrading” a dim cop’s computer, but he cannot, and now he must arrest himself. I guess Nancy couldn’t keep him out of jail, after all.

Andy

The scene where he taunts Zoya about the dog hotel she wants to open with Nancy is classic Uncle Andy. “Cats! Cats! Cats!” he yells, as she hurls his own things at him. I’m almost kind of sad that this is never going to happen, because I would very much like to see what a luxurious Vermont dog hotel run by two ex-con arsonist lesbians might look like.

Nancy

After a night of passion with Clive, she takes pity on him and tells him the SEC is onto his shady dealings. Aaaw, I knew she liked him. Enraptured by her magic vagina, he asks her to run away with him, but she has a whole lot more fucking up of her sons’ lives to do, so she can’t. However, she will take his townhouse, thanks. The ingenious way she burns it down as a means of getting Zoya to flee makes up for her unfortunate stumbles last week. “I’m thinking of us. Of the weimeraners,” might be the best display of fake emotion ever to be uttered on television.

Also: holy shit, Doug Wilson. Way to use the fund’s corporate power to get both it and Nancy off the SEC hook in the most vulgar way possible. Even Nancy blushed a little from that Tourettes-like stream of filth. Will Clive come back once he finds out the company is okay?

Silas

Silas might be the manager of a major drug operation, but he still has one major Achilles heel, and that heel is in his dick. Silly model, don’t you know never to trust a character played by Michelle Trachtenburg? In a move totally befitting a fratty college kid, she literally turns the bike shop upside down before making off with Silas’ dignity and client database. Basically, don’t tangle with Columbia girls because we are amoral, drug dealing sociopaths who will sex you to find out where you keep your drug computer and then glue all your chairs to your ceiling just to see you cry.

This was truly a boner move on Silas’ part (womp womp), but I still feel kind of bad for him, because he seemed to like her. Look at how happy he was when he woke up that morning on the sex balcony:

As it turns out, her “thanks for last night” note was actually referring to the fact that Silas told her all his drug secrets, although I’m sure his penis was wonderful as well.

Amazing Quote Of The Week:

Andy (to Nancy): “In prison, were you like, hey, I’m an arsonist, you’re an arsonist, let’s get together and be lesbians?”

Sounds like someone’s a wee bit jealous.

I’m also glad someone finally commented on how creepy it is that Silas named allowed Snoop Dogg to name his weed strain–which he sells with his mother–”MILF Weed,” as in “Mother I’d Like to Fuck.” THANK YOU, GEORGINA. (Granted, it’s hard to argue with the Doggfather.)

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• Weeds S7E8 Recap: Worlds Collide
• ‘Weeds’ S7E7 Recap: Nancy Makes A Deal…Not That Kind
• What Was ‘Weeds’ Star Demian Bichir Doing Eating Alone?
• Nostalgia Cameo: ‘Clarissa Explains It All’ Dad As Creepy Hunter Parish Stalker On ‘Weeds’

Post from: Crushable

This week’s episode of Weeds brought a lot of plot lines together into one huge, incredibly dangerous tangle. As far as Nancy’s situations go, it’s not “Mexican drug boss wants to kill me” bad, but it is, nonetheless, quite bad. How did she get back into trouble so quickly? Let’s take a look.

Silas and Andy

Uncle and nephew continue to bicker over just how much TLC it’s wise to devote to Andy’s beloved front business, with Silas rightly thinking that it could be a problem down the line if Andy’s “silly wheel” (OH NO HE DIDN’T) gets too much attention. Then again, if there’s anything Gus from Breaking Bad has taught us, it’s that it’s best to hide in plain sight, preferably with the help of a goofy mascot (which, in this case, would be Andy).

Speaking of discretion, the rival drug dealer has already found out about Silas’ business and come to deliver a “friendly cease and desist.” And who’s that crazy-eyed girl with him? Aah, it’s Georgina Sparks! Run Silas, run!

Shane

Shane starts to realize being a crooked cop might not be all it’s cracked up to be when he finds out his new mentor is an alcoholic with an estranged son, as all crooked cops are. How long until this ill-advised friendship starts causing problems at home?

Nancy

Damn girl, you are not on top of your game at all these days. Did all that time you spent sitting on your ass in prison drinking contraband iced coffees while Zoya ate you out make you lazy? Because it sure would seem that way.

Nancy has always flirted with BDSM, but one generally gets the sense she’s in control. (Even the rapey scene with Esteban seemed to turn her on.) This episode starts with a sex act that’s almost definitely non-consensual (with a knife-wielding Zoya), followed by consensual sex with her brother, one room away. Ew. I don’t want to sound like I’m victim-blaming here, but it might be wise in the future for Nancy to refrain from shamelessly using crazy people who’ve already committed murder, because they will get out of jail and make her be their girlfriend.

In an effort to help the SEC bring down the firm, Nancy agrees to wear a wire while out on a date with CEO Clive, whom we get the sense she kind of likes in addition to wanting to use (win win). And why shouldn’t she? They’re not so different, him and her.  The amoral glee with which Nancy and Clive devour the endangered species croquettes is matched only by the ruthlessness with which they live their lives.

Unfortunately, Nancy is unable to part ways with Clive and remove the wire before returning home to a very talkative group of business associates, which means both Clive and the SEC agents are now privy to Nancy’s burgeoning drug business, among other things they probably don’t want to know. The episode’s prize screenshot (err, I mean still) comes when Zoya enters, pinwheel eyes a-spinnin’, and smooches Nancy like she’s still her prison bitch. For reasons that include “that’s my sister” and “that’s my mom,” not one of the dudes present wants to see this:

I’m guessing Nancy will now have no choice but to use her magical vagina to coax Clive into an ever deeper relationship until she knows enough to betray him. I don’t think the SEC will settle for anything less, at this point. Just try not to get pregnant this time, okay? (This should be easy, as Nancy is over 40, but her womb is magical as well.)

Amazing Quote Of The Week

Halfway house lady: You’re a lifer. You will always work a system. I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened to you or who made you this way, but I hope you understand someday everything you lost by living the way you do. I’m very…disappointed I couldn’t help you.

Nancy (looking all IDGAF like a schoolgirl who’s just been scolded): Yeah, I don’t need your help or your judgment. I’m fine with what I’ve done and I’m not pretending to be anybody else. I know who I am. I’m gonna go clear out my stuff.

Do you hear that, halfway house lady? Nancy Botwin was just born to be bad.

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• ‘Weeds’ S7E7 Recap: Nancy Makes A Deal…Not That Kind
• What Was ‘Weeds’ Star Demian Bichir Doing Eating Alone?
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Post from: Crushable

Hello and welcome to this, the latest television show to be added to Crushable’s roster of recaps. I realize that we’re halfway through the seventh season already, but I’m hoping most of the people who watch this show are too high to notice. J/k, Weeds is a great, complex television program and I’m sure all of its fans are very smart. Let’s begin!

Nancy

This episode opens with Nancy Botwin talking to Silas on the phone about their fresh supply of MILF Weed from Heylia’s harvest. She’s interrupted by halfway house counselor Ed, whose mishandling of Nancy’s case, and maybe also his drinking, have put his job in jeopardy. He tells her he’s going to be on her “like butter on toast.” How is she going to sell weed at the company softball game now? I have to say, I’m hoping she gets out of the depressing halfway house soon. The piss tests, the ugly clothes, the curfews…she’s basically Medea at this point, but we still don’t like seeing her like this, do we?

Ed shows up at the game and has a sweet moment in which he bonds with Uncle Andy over what he doesn’t know is their mutual anger at Nancy. He pokes around looking for Nancy’s boss Doug Wilson, who he’s sure is helping Nancy do something shady. He encounters Doug just as he’s going on a steroid-fueled rant about how he doesn’t want to be called “Rocket Man” anymore, and Doug, being a total racist, mistakes him for Nancy’s former associate Marvin, another black dude, and asks, “are you still selling weed with Nancy?” Oh dear.

But it’s okay, because Nancy has already made a deal with the SEC agents stalking the game to help them gain access to insider info on the firm’s book cooking in exchange for getting out of the halfway house way early. And just like that, she’s out of Ed’s jurisdiction. Is that how it works in real life? Anyway, the readiness with which Nancy is willing to sell out her employer to serve her own interests is classic Nancy Botwin. I don’t think most viewers have much sympathy for Wall Street at this point in time, though, so this doesn’t add too much to Nancy’s evil this time around.

She also manages to flirt with the firm’s CEO, and we see her masochistic tendencies reemerging. Why did she give this guy leverage over her by telling him she’s a drug dealer? So they can have play weird, S+M-y sex games, is why. Nancy loves to get into it with powerful, scary men who may or may not try to kill her. Is a little attention from Mr. Boss Man really worth risking her and her family’s lives? If you’ve been following the show, this is a rhetorical question.

Shane

Everyone’s favorite little sociopath’s burgeoning friendship with the crooked cop amuses me. You can see him getting intoxicated with potential power when he practices flipping open that badge. The only thing more frightening than Shane as an outlaw is Shane with a badge and a gun. And yet, he talks the hooker into taking out student loans and going to college. A mixed bag of sweet and scary, that one. When he says  “I swim in moral grey areas, trust me,” the cop has no idea how true that statement is.

Silas

Pro: His new modeling agent is going to set him up with some drug dealers. Con: He has to box in underground model fight club first. He agrees to take a fall so she can win her bet, but then his opponent sets him off by calling him a “momma’s boy” and he beats the crap out of him. You do not do that to someone who insists on calling his mother by her first name.

This violates the terms of their agreement, but his agent thought it was hot, so she hooks it up anyway. This is pretty understandable. I don’t know if it’s the brown hair or increasing ambition to succeed at Drugs, but he’s even more of a dreamboat this season than in the past.

Is he going to bone down with his agent? Screenshot says yes:

This will do nothing to alleviate his mommy issues.

The episode ends on a cliffhanger: Nancy’s sexy lesbian jail friend is out, and knows she’s banging her brother. Will they have a creepy threesome? Tune in next week to find out!

You can watch ‘Weeds’ on Showtime every Monday at 10pm Eastern. Or, you know, on the Internet for free whenever you like. Not that I endorse that. Stealing is wrong. ;)

Related posts:

• What Was ‘Weeds’ Star Demian Bichir Doing Eating Alone?
• Video: Mark Paul Gosselaar On ‘Weeds’ Makes Us Feel Funny Down There
• Nostalgia Cameo: ‘Clarissa Explains It All’ Dad As Creepy Hunter Parish Stalker On ‘Weeds’
• ‘Weeds’ Season Six Trailer: Highs And Lows

Post from: Crushable

See ladies, womyn can anchor a television show and people will actually watch. You know, as long as there’s a softer side to her hard edge- there is such a thing as too tough, and it’s super unattractive to men. Oh also, she can’t have too many ladyfriends. Beggars can’t be choosers, amirightladies? For now, I beg for you to choose to look at the tough broads of cable with me.

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Post from: Crushable

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• Video: Mark Paul Gosselaar On ‘Weeds’ Makes Us Feel Funny Down There
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Post from: Crushable